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Short jokes - funny one liners (9601 to 9640)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 9601 to 9640. |
Answering Machine Message 216
If a telephone rings in an empty room and no one is there to answer it, was there really a phone call? Help me investigate this phenomenon by leaving your name and number after the tone.
“I've planted part of...
“I've planted part of a riding whip. I'm hoping for a nice crop.”
All the proof she needs?
A bum asks a man for $2.
The man asked: 'Will you buy booze?'
The bum said: 'No'
The man asked 'Will you gamble it away?'
The bum said: 'No.'
Then the man asked: 'Will you come home with me, so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble?'
“The movie about the ...
“The movie about the mobile home was advertised with a trailer.”
A spouse is someone who'...
A spouse is someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.
Good grades...
The little boy wasn't getting good marks in school. One day he made the teacher quite surprised. He tapped her on the shoulder and said...
"I don't want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don't get better grades.... somebody is going to get a spanking....".
A snail was mugged by a tortoi...
A snail was mugged by a tortoise. The police said "Can you give us a description of your attacker?The snail said, "no, it all happened so fast!"
Chuck Norris runs until the tr...
Chuck Norris runs until the treadmill gets tired.Office jokes-Project management
Ronald McDonald in a N*dist Colony
Q: How do you find Ronald McDonald in a n*dist colony?
A: Look for sesame seed buns.
Q: Do politicians ever lie?R...
Q: Do politicians ever lie?A: What do you think they get paid for?
“The charges of the o...
“The charges of the otolaryngologist was exorbitant, I had to pay through the nose!”
Q. What do you call a bug with...
Q. What do you call a bug with manners?A. A lady bug
“Some clockmakers are...
“Some clockmakers are normal, but others are a little cuckoo.”
Anti-men Jokes (Ladies Enjoy)
He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I'vewanted to make love to you really badly. She
said - Well, you succeeded.
“The exhibitionist we...
“The exhibitionist went to the store because he heard they were having a flash sale.”
A young and foolish pilot want...
A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool on the aviation frequencies. So, this was his first time approaching a field during the nighttime. Instead of making any official requests to the tower, he said: "Guess who?"The controller switched the field lights off and replied: "Guess where?"
“I never liked befrie...
“I never liked befriending assassins. They're all backstabbers.”
Really funny jokes-New job at the cemetery
Bob: I quit after a week. I found the work too frustrating.
Tom: What happened?
Bob: No matter what I said to the customers, they were always dead right!
Things sure have changed...
As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"
The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?"
The Darndest Church
A man goes to a Unitarian Universalist service for the first time, and later is asked what he thought of it. "Darndest church I ever went to," he replies. "The only time I heard the name of Jesus Christ was when the janitor fell down the stairs!"
Hair Balls
What's the leading cause of death among lesbians? Hair balls.TEACHER: What do you call a pe...
TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longerinterested?
PUPILS: A teacher.
Tacks
A guy walks into the drug store and asks for a package of condoms.The pharmacist says, "That'll be $5 with the tax."
"Tacks!?" the guy exclaims, "I thought you rolled them on!"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman
When Chuck Norris takes his sh...
When Chuck Norris takes his shirt off the sun gets a tan.“I went to Cairo, but...
“I went to Cairo, but I don't remember if I saw the river or not. I wonder if I am senile.”
TEACHER: What is the chemical ...
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said its H to O!
Chuck Norris doesn't call the ...
Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.Hilarious jokes-Writing a telegram
The clerk looked at the form and said "You've only six words here, you can have three more for the same fee".
The owl looked at the clerk and said dismissively "But that wouldn't make any sense if I did that".
