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Short jokes - funny one liners (9561 to 9600)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 9561 to 9600. |
A Little Cannibalism Humor, Folks
Did you hear the one about the cannibal who passed his brother in the jungle the other day?
Chuck Norris can delete the Re...
Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.Grape story
Question: Did the grape say anything when someone stepped on it?Answer: It did not say anything, but it gave out a little whine when it was crushed.
“I was caught studyin...
“I was caught studying the periodic table in English class. It was an elementary mistake.”
Answering Machine Message 145
Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
Short funny jokes-Preying
Husband: “Don't you panic, it will find nothing.”
Walks Into a Bar... Vampires
Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have a pint of blood."
The second one says, "I'll have one, too."
The third one says, "I'll have a pint of plasma."
The bartender says, "So, that'll be two Bloods and a Blood Lite?"
Quick fire drinks
Guy walks into a bar and says, "Quick, give me three shots of your finest whiskey!"
The bartender pours the shots and the man downs them as quickly as he can.
Bartender says, "What was that about?" Guy says,
"You'd do the same if you had what I have."
Bartender: "What's that?"
Guy: "70 cents."
Bottled Water
A man and a woman are in a supermarket. They are standing infront of the water aisle.
The man wonders aloud, "Who would buy all this expensive
Evian water anyway?"
The woman says, "Evian... It's naive spelled backwards."
Farmer picks up an American In...
Farmer picks up an American Indian hitch hiking. The Indian is a man of few words but eventually looks at the brown paper bag in between them and asks, "Mmm, What in bag?" The farmer says, "It's a bottle of wine that I got for my wife". Indian thinks for a second and say, "Mmm, good trade".“I always believed my...
“I always believed my body was a prison for me. I was right, in biology I learnt they were made of cells.”
Short funny jokes-Watch your health
So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my granddad.
Chuck Norris once wrestled a b...
Chuck Norris once wrestled a bear, an alligator, and a mountain lion all at once. He won by tying them together with an anaconda.“The mass murderer wa...
“The mass murderer was always grumpy. He was a surly ol' killer.”
8 twice
Why is 88 better than 69?You get 8 twice.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by calamjo
A bus station is where a bus s...
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops.Now you know why they call it a workstation!
Last smoke
The convict replied, "No thank you, I never smoke. I don't want to get lung cancer."
Happiest day of your life...
Congratulations my boy!" said the groom's uncle. "I'm sure you'll look back and remember today as the happiest day of your life."
"But I'm not getting married until tomorrow." Protested his nephew.
"I know," replied the uncle. "That's exactly what I mean."
“What do you call a p...
“What do you call a person rabid with wordplay? An energizer punny.”
Chuck Norris has a bear rug in...
Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his den. The bear isn't dead- just afraid to move.An old man walking along the r...
An old man walking along the river bank suddenly spotted a boy drowning in the river. The man started shouting "HELP! HELP! I can't swim", a man passing by the road shouted back "Will you ever grow up! I also can't ride a bicycle but you'll never hear me yelling about it in the street"“Obituaries of those ...
“Obituaries of those hanged in the old west used to be posted in the noose paper.”
Computer error
A husband and a wife were trying to set up a new password to their computer.
The husband said "Put MYPENIS."
The wife fell on the ground laughing because on screen was an error message...
"Error. Not long enough."
“I fired the floor re...
“I fired the floor refinishers. They simply could not hold their lacquer.”
What did the mayo say when som...
What did the mayo say when someone opened the refrigerator door?"Close the door, I'm dressing!"
Short funny jokes-Take home pay
Banta: That's because it's way too small to go home by itself.
