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Short jokes - funny one liners (9721 to 9760)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 9721 to 9760. |
Hilarious jokes-Only child
"That's nice of her to take such an interest, dear. What did she say when you told her u are the only child?"
"She just said, 'Thank goodness!'"
What Is One Billion?
According to a recent government publication ...
A billion seconds ago Harry Truman was president.
A billion minutes ago was just after the time of Christ.
A billion hours ago man had not yet walked on earth.
A billion dollars ago was late yesterday at the U.S. Treasury.
Self help...
A man walks into a book store and asks the clerk if she could tell him where the "self-help" area is.
She replied, "Of course I can, but that would defeat the purpose, now wouldn't it?"
Chuck Norris is the only perso...
Chuck Norris is the only person in history to receive a Platinum Medal in the Olympics.Behind Every Great Man . . .
You've all heard that behind every great man is a woman, butyou may not have heard that behind every great woman is some
guy staring at her ass.
Funny jokes-Native American
The Native American says, ‘It's great. And how are you enjoying our fine country?'
“I think I screwed up...
“I think I screwed up with the construction. I couldn't nail it.”
Harlem does the Chuck Norris s...
Harlem does the Chuck Norris shake.From a passenger ship one can ...
From a passenger ship one can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting and desperately waving is hands."Who is it?" a passenger asks the captain.
"I've no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes mad."
Calling It a Day
God: "Whew, I just created a 24-hour period of alternating light and darkness on earth."
Angel: "Oh yeah? What are you going to do now?"
God: "I think I'll call it a day."
“I was looking for wa...
“I was looking for watch batteries but I wound up at a clock shop.”
Hand Me Downs
Q: What do you say to a man with five penises?
A: Your jeans fit like a glove.
Good jokes-Crystal ball
‘How much was that?' asks her husband.
‘Thirty pounds,' answers the woman.
‘Thirty!' says the husband. ‘They must have seen you coming.'
Can I be Frank
What did Ellen Degeneres say to Kathy Lee?Can I be Frank with you?
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
Short funny jokes-Batman under roller
Sunny: “You get a Flat man.”
40 year curse
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says: "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.
The old man says without hesitation: "I now pronounce you man and wife."
To soon to tell?
The morning after their honeymoon night, the wife says to her husband, "you know, You're really a lousy lover!"
The husband replies, "How would you know after only 30 seconds?"
“I hate cliff-hangers...
“I hate cliff-hangers! Do you know what I am going to do about it?”
Sleep Walking Nun
Question: What do you call a sleepwalking nun?Answer: A roamin' catholic.
A male frog went to a psychic....
A male frog went to a psychic.The psychic tells him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
The frog becomes excited, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party?"
"No," says the psychic, "in her biology class."
Economy jokes-Pessimistic women
Q: Why are Women more pessimistic about the economy than Men?A: Because men are in charge of the economy!
In the words of Julius Caesar,...
In the words of Julius Caesar, "Veni, Vidi, Vici, Chuck Norris". Translation: I came, I saw, and I was roundhouse-kicked in the face.Hilarious jokes-Jammed window
The Manager replies: “It is your personal problem, sir. What can I do in this matter?”
George bursts out, “Right, but the window is jammed!"
“My friend was fired ...
“My friend was fired from his job at the road department for stealing. I have to say I saw it coming. The last time I was at his house all the signs were there.”
Do you know where you were going?
A policeman pulled a blonde over after he/she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.Cop: Do you know where you were going?
Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad because all the cars were leaving.
Dollars Equal Ten Cents
Theorem: 1$ = 10 cent
Proof:
We know that $1 = 100 cents
Divide both sides by 100
$ 1/100 = 100/100 cents
=> $ 1/100 = 1 cent
Take square root both side
=> squr($1/100) = squr (1 cent)
=> $ 1/10 = 1 cent
Multiply both side by 10
=> $1 = 10 cent
