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Short jokes - funny one liners (10001 to 10040)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 10001 to 10040. |
Chilling with the Eskimo
What do eskimos get from sitting on a block of ice?
Polaroids!
Eat with the stars
What a rip-off! Once I ate in a Hollywood restaurant that had a big sign outside' "EAT WITH THE STARS."Turns out the restaurant was a converted planetarium.
Q. What did the digital clock ...
Q. What did the digital clock say to the analog clock?A. Look, No hands!
Adult jokes-Raising the mast
"No thanks," she said sweetly. "I heard about you from your ex and she included a 'small craft' warning."
A schoolteacher's son brought ...
A schoolteacher's son brought his report card home. The father said; let's see what you have accomplished. He opens the report and to his dismay sees all bad grades. What do you have to say about this Johnny? Well dad at lease you know I'm not cheating.Q: What sits on the bottom of ...
Q: What sits on the bottom of the ocean and twitches?A: A nervous wreck!
Knock-knock...
Knock-knock. Who's there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes the police! Come out with your hands up!
Really funny jokes-Bad at Maths
One of the kids put up his hand. "But teacher, there aren't that many in this class," he said.
Short funny jokes-New law
No Male Pallbearers
An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead."
Old Ladies and the Flasher
Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench when a flasher comes by and opens his trench coat right in front of them.
The first old lady has a stroke, the second old lady has a stroke, but the third old lady can't reach that far.
Was it good?
After making love, I said to my girl, "Was it good for you too?"She said "I don't think this was good for anybody!"
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
Really funny jokes-Switching the birthday gift
"Well," said Mike, "I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet."
"Why is that?" asked the friend.
Mike answered, "that's because with a clarinet, she cannot sing."
The Invisible Man
A psychiatrist's secretary walks into his study and says, "There's a gentleman in the waiting room asking to see you. Claims he's invisible."
The psychiatrist responds, "Tell him I can't see him."
Teacher jokes-Expand
The teacher answered, "It's because of the heat. It makes everything expand."
What happened?
A man was complaining to a friend: "I had it all - money, magnificent house, big car, the love of beautiful woman, then, POW! It was all gone!"
"What happened?," asked the friend.
"My wife found out..."
Creative Medical Diagnosis
Teacher: How can you prevent diseases caused by bitinginsects?
Suzie: Don't bite any!
A woman worries about the futu...
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
When Chuck Norris wants an egg...
When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.A woman worries about the futu...
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Little Johnny watched, fascina...
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.'What's the matter?' asked Little Johnny. 'Giving up?'
Little Johnny watched, fascina...
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.'What's the matter?' asked Little Johnny. 'Giving up?'
Q: How many politicians does i...
Q: How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?A: Two. One to assure the public that everything possible is being done while the other screws it into a water faucet.
Teacher to a student: "Can you...
Teacher to a student: "Can you think of a solution to end unemployment?""Yes, sir! I'd put all the men on one island and the women on another."
"And what would they be doing then?"
"Building boats!"
Teacher to a student: "Can you...
Teacher to a student: "Can you think of a solution to end unemployment?""Yes, sir! I'd put all the men on one island and the women on another."
"And what would they be doing then?"
"Building boats!"
The Good News
"I'm afraid I have some bad news for you," the secretary said to her boss.
"Why do you always have to give me bad news?" her boss asked. "Can't you tell me some good news for once?"
"OK," the secretary replied, "you're not sterile!"
Good jokes-Habit
The Nun replies, "Ok, Just this time."
On reaching the Convent, he asks her, "Can I kiss you?"
She says, "Ok, fine with me, but do not get into the habit."
