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Short jokes - funny one liners (10121 to 10160)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 10121 to 10160. |
Bloopers from Sunday School Students
When you open a can of whoop-a...
When you open a can of whoop-ass, Chuck Norris jumps out.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Eugene Mirman: Kids Say the Darnedest Things
A lot of people think kids say the darnedest things, but so would you if you had no education. #joke #short
sex
you mamma's like a gas pump you got to pay before you pump#joke #short
Q. What word does heavenly ang...
Q. What word does heavenly angels use most often to greet each other?A. Halo!
#joke #short
Amy Schumer: Vaginas Are Work
Its work having a vagina. Guys dont think that its work but it is. You think it shows up like that to the event? It doesnt. Every night its like getting it ready for its first Quinceanera, believe me.#joke #short
Jon Dore: Ability to Hide
My grandfather avoided the Holocaust with his ability to hide, and by not being Jewish, and by living in Canada his entire life -- all about strategy. #joke #short
Hearing Aid
A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect."
"Really," answered the neighbor . "What kind is it?"
"Twelve thirty."
#joke #short
Funny jokes-Charity
Tony had gathered a lot of cash from trick-or-treating, so he headed for candy store to buy some goodies.
"You should donate that money to charity," said the sales girl.
Tony thought for a moment and said, "No, I'll buy the chocolate. You give the money to charity."
"You should donate that money to charity," said the sales girl.
Tony thought for a moment and said, "No, I'll buy the chocolate. You give the money to charity."
Kurt Braunohler: Slept Like a Baby
Slept like a baby last night. I woke up every two hours screaming in the dark and then I sh*t my pants and almost died for, like, no reason whatsoever.#joke #short
Sheng Wang: Better Person
Im trying to be a better person. This year my goal is to blackout less; its a very difficult goal to track. I think Im succeeding, but I might just not remember failing.#joke #short
If Superman and The Flash were...
If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris.#joke #short #chuck-norris
There is no such thing as torn...
There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Lawyer jokes-Funny exchanges in Court
Hilariously crazy exchanges in the court of Law:Lawyer: Are you Donald Asher's mother?
Witness: Yes, I am.
Lawyer: How long have you known him?
----
Lawyer: What happened after that?
Witness: He said to me,"I have no choice but to kill you as you can identify me."
Lawyer: Did he kill you?
Mitch Hedberg: Escalator
I like a escalator, man, cause an escalator can never break. It can only become stairs.#joke #short
Clean jokes-Bald head
Luke, who lived in a small town, was teased everywhere he went as he had a completely bald head! Having put up with it for years, he decided to would not take it any more. So he climbed a tall tower and shouted for everyone to hear: "I am not bald, it just so happens that I'm taller than my hair!"
#joke #short
I had plastic surgery last wee...
I had plastic surgery last week. My wife cut up my credit cards!#joke #short
Grocery bag
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with.... the other is used to carry groceries.
#joke #short
Sean Patton: Tighten Your Budget
If my penis were, say, an annual salary: $47,000 a year with dental. Thats pretty good. $47,000 -- plenty, ladies, if you just, uh, tighten up your budget. Have a tight budget. Dont just have a loose skanky ass budget.#joke #short
Short funny jokes-Wet weather
If a farmer raises wheat in dry weather, what does he raise in wet weather?An umbrella.
#joke #short
Dana Gould: Plastic Surgery for Senior Citizens
Getting plastic surgery in your late 70s, its kind of like painting your house as the fire approaches. Just die, theres no shame in it.#joke #short
Physical Exam
The doctor has just finished giving the young man a thorough physical examination.
"The best thing for you to do," the M.D. said, "is give up drinking and smoking, get to bed early and stay away from women."
"Doc, I don't deserve the best," said the patient. "What's second best?"
Emily Heller: Using Feminism
I have found some ways to use feminism to my own advantage -- mostly to remain lazy and disgusting. #joke #short
Q: What did the green grape sa...
Q: What did the green grape say to the purple grape?A: "BREATHE YOU IDIOT, BREATHE!"
#joke #short
Chuck Norris can make onions c...
Chuck Norris can make onions cry.Q: What did the green grape sa...
Q: What did the green grape say to the purple grape?A: "BREATHE YOU IDIOT, BREATHE!"
#joke #short
Chuck Norris is the reason why...
Chuck Norris is the reason why the chicken crossed the road.A father and son went deep-sea...
A father and son went deep-sea fishing. Out at sea, the father sees his son drilling a hole in the boat, when asked what he was doing, the son replied, "there's water coming into the boat, so I made a another hole for it to escape."Some magicians can walk on wat...
Some magicians can walk on water. Chuck Norris can swim through land.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Todd Barry: Hearing Aid
Saw a great product advertised -- it was a hearing aid made to look like a Bluetooth headset. Its for people who are embarrassed about wearing a hearing aid but not about wearing a Bluetooth headset. #joke #short
Q: What sits on the botto...
Q: What sits on the bottom of the ocean and twitches?A: A nervous wreck!
#joke #short
