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Short jokes - funny one liners (10081 to 10120)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 10081 to 10120. |
Who was it?
She left him on the sofa when the phone rang, and was back in a few seconds.
"Who was it?" he asked.
"My husband," she replied.
"I better get going," he said. "Where was he?"
"Relax. He's downtown playing poker with you."
#joke #short
Hilarious jokes-Gas
I went into the Shell gas station this morning and asked for five dollars worth of gas. The clerk farted and gave me a receipt.
#joke #short
Chuck Norris invented KFC's fa...
Chuck Norris invented KFC's famous secret recipe, with 11 herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the 12th ingredient: Fear#joke #short #chuck-norris
Q. Why was the fly dancin...
Q. Why was the fly dancing on the jam jar?A. Because on the lid it said, "Twist to open."
#joke #short
Find out who is in control
At a recent interview, it seems that Bill Clinton broke out in rage after being asked a line of questions about him being controlled.Interviewer: "Who pulls your strings, Bill? What special interests control you?"
Clinton (visibly upset): "You leave Hillary out of this!"
#joke #short
Short funny jokes-Hit by lightning
Tom : I witnessed a live band play their music in a thunderstorm, and guess who got hit by the lightning?
Jerry : The conductor.
#joke #short
B.J. Novak: Battered Women
Battered women: sounds delicious, doesnt make it right.#joke #short
Black Jew
Q: What did Hitler say to the black Jew?A: Get to the back of the oven.
Submitted by wavesk8er102
Edited by Curtis
#joke #short
Chuck Norris wrote all the Cho...
Chuck Norris wrote all the Choose Your Own Adventure books under pen names to hide the fact that they are autobiographical.#joke #short #chuck-norris
One line jokes-So bald
A co-actor taunted Vin Diesel by saying:
You are so bald, I can see what you're thinking.
You are so bald, I can see what you're thinking.
#joke #short
Emily Heller: Homeless Guy
A homeless guy asked me for a dollar the other day. And I was like, A dollar? How about 76 cents? Because thats how much a lady hobo would make doing the same job.#joke #short
Curiosity killed the cat. Chuc...
Curiosity killed the cat. Chuck Norris killed Curiosity.Clean jokes-City boy
Justin, a city kid went on his first camping trip with the scouts. He was eating his lunch under the shade of a tree when an old man came along.
'It smells like rain,' the old man said to the boy.
Justin replied, 'I was told it was lemonade.'
'It smells like rain,' the old man said to the boy.
Justin replied, 'I was told it was lemonade.'
Q: Why don't cannibals eat c...
Q: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?A: Because they taste funny.
#joke #short
After the christening of his b...
After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed allthe way home in the back seat of the car, his father asked him three
times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he
wanted us brought up in a Christian home and I wanted to stay with you
guys."
A man taunted Chuck Norris by ...
A man taunted Chuck Norris by holding a bag of Lays potato chips in front of him and saying "Betcha can't just one!" Chuck Norris subsequently ate the chips, the bag, and the man whole.Short funny jokes-Scared of water
Donald: It's strange to find my wife so scared of water.
Tony: How do you find out?
Donald: I reached home early from work yesterday and found her in the bath tub with the security guard!
Tony: How do you find out?
Donald: I reached home early from work yesterday and found her in the bath tub with the security guard!
#joke #short
my boobs
(do this on your calculator.) one day there was a Blonde who thought her boobs were 2 2 big so she went to 37th street to building number 8 and talked to Dr. double 00. She left building number eight to find she was boobless. ( turn calculator upside down to see boobless)Chuck Norris and Superman once...
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Ben Kronberg: Jesus Heals
Jesus heals cripples because heaven isnt wheelchair accessible. That sh*t was built way before wheelchairs. Besides, its a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.#joke #short
A vertically challenged psychi...
A vertically challenged psychic was arrested one day. He escaped from jail and the newspaper headline read, "SMALL MEDIUM AT-LARGE."#joke #short
Hilarious jokes-Pilot in trouble
A desperate pilot contacts tower to say, "I am in a situation - 400 miles from land, 500 feet over water and fast running out of fuel. Please give instructions! "
"Tower to pilot. Tower to pilot. Repeat after me, 'Our Father, which art in heaven...'"
"Tower to pilot. Tower to pilot. Repeat after me, 'Our Father, which art in heaven...'"
A man solves the problem of to...
A man solves the problem of too many visiting relatives.He borrowed money from the rich ones and loaned it to the poor ones.
Now none of them come back.
#joke #short
Funny jokes-My bed
Lucy was sitting on a park bench, when a beggar appeared out of nowhere and said to her, "Sweetheart, let's have some fun!"
Lucy was furious and shouted, "How dare you say such a thing?"
The beggar commented, "Then what are you doing on my bed?"
Lucy was furious and shouted, "How dare you say such a thing?"
The beggar commented, "Then what are you doing on my bed?"
#joke #short
Edward Hale, while chaplain of...
Edward Hale, while chaplain of the U.S. Senate, was asked, "Do you pray for the senators?"He quickly replied, "No. After getting to know the senators, I pray for the people."
#joke #short
Short funny jokes-Handsome face
After accepting an invitation to dance with a rather prematurely balding man, Kate, 25 years of age, wanted to lighten the mood and said, "Well, God was good to you, gave you a handsome face and room for another one."
#joke #short
Jesus can walk on water, but C...
Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Animal jokes-Drink in cafe
Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money."I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it."
"I've spent my last buck," said the deer.
"Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk.
"Getting here cost me my last scent."
Mitch Hedberg: Alcoholism Is a Disease
Alcoholism is a disease, but its the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.#joke #short
