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Short jokes - funny one liners (10361 to 10400)

Short jokes - funny one liners (10361 to 10400)

Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 10361 to 10400.

Officer to driver going the wr...

Officer to driver going the wrong way up a one way street. "And where do you think you are going?"

Driver: "I'm not sure, but I must be late as everyone else is coming back."
Joke | Source: MHINTZ0929's Blog - New funny joke each day
  • Currently 4.60/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (10)

Officer to driver going the wr...

Officer to driver going the wrong way up a one way street. "And where do you think you are going?"
Driver: - "I'm not sure, but I must be late as everyone else is coming back."
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (8)

SLIDESHOW #207 - Funny Photo Slideshow

Gregor Samsa woke from uneasy dreams to discover he had become a farm animal. With bronchitis. How bizarre! It was Coughcowesque.

Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 4.20/10

Rating: 4.2/10 (10)

tricycle

How can you tell which tricycle belongs to the blonde?

It is the one with the kickstand.

Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 5.20/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (15)

An elderly couple stood before...

An elderly couple stood before the family court judge after a long divorce trial. The judge asked why they wanted a divorce after having been married for nearly 70 years. They answered:" We wanted to wait, till after the kids had died".
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 4.75/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (8)

Bjork sings in Iceland...

Bjork sings in Icelandic pentameter?
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 4.90/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (10)

“How long have you been workin...

“How long have you been working here?” one employee asked to another.

“Ever since the boss threatened to fire me.”
#joke #short
Joke | Source: MHINTZ0929's Blog - New funny joke each day
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (9)

One line jokes-Old ladies

A waiter goes to a corner table where three old ladies were having their dinner and asks, "Is ANYTHING okay?"
#joke #short #food #dinner
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (8)

I was prescribed bed rest, aft...

I was prescribed bed rest, after I underwent Lay Sick surgery.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 4.38/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (8)

Q: Why did the chicken cross t...

Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?

A: To get to the other slide.
#joke #short #animal #chicken
Joke | Source: MHINTZ0929's Blog - New funny joke each day
  • Currently 5.38/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (8)

The sodomite's preferred...

The sodomite's preferred way to die? A noose.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 4.30/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (10)

Rainbows are what happens when...

Rainbows are what happens when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks Richard Simmons.
Joke | Source: Daily Chuck - Daily Chuck Norris Fact
  • Currently 2.90/10

Rating: 2.9/10 (77)

Teacher jokes-Classroom

A geography teacher entered the class and the children greeted in chorus: “Good morning, sir.”
The Teacher greeted them back saying, “Good morning, students. Now where were we yesterday?”
A back-bencher promptly answered, “Right here in this classroom, sir.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (9)

They had a smoked salmon funda...

They had a smoked salmon fundaising lunch for the President at which he gave a speech. It was sold out–lox, talk and Barry O.
#joke #short #food #lunch
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (10)

What is the cur rent <...

What is the cur rent price to lease a dog?
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 3.92/10

Rating: 3.9/10 (12)

Chuck Norris can speak braille...

Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Joke | Source: Daily Chuck - Daily Chuck Norris Fact
  • Currently 2.99/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (68)

Q: What does every woman ...

Q: What does every woman call an intelligent, attractive, caring, loving and sensitive man?

A: A dream.
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#joke #short
Joke | Source: MHINTZ0929's Blog - New funny joke each day
  • Currently 5.27/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (11)

Short funny jokes-Robots

In about 50 years, Robots will be doing most of the work which human do not like to do; especially illegal robots from Mexico.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 5.70/10

Rating: 5.7/10 (10)

Call me scent o'...

Call me scent o' mental, but when I talk to you I can smell the crazy.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 4.75/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (8)

Short funny jokes-Two sticks

Can you imagine a guy so dumb that his teacher gave him two sticks and he became a drummer, but lost one and became a conductor.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 3.40/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (5)

Light bulb jokes-Nurses

How many nurses does it take to change a light bulb?
None, as they simply have a nursing assistant to do it.
As many as the doctor orders.
How many triage nurses does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but the bulb will have to spend five hours in the waiting room.
#joke #short #doctor
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 5.30/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (10)

Confusius say: "man who run be...

Confusius say: "man who run behind car get exhausted"..."man who run in front of car get tired"
#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 5.38/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (8)

If they killed all the sheep i...

If they killed all the sheep it would be a cull lambity.
#joke #short #animal #sheep
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 4.38/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (8)

Little Johnny was not paying a...

Little Johnny was not paying attention in class so the math teacher called on him and said, “Johnny! What are 5, 2, 28 and 40?” Little Johnny quickly replied, “NBC, CBS, HBO, and Cartoon Network!”
#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (9)

I'll eat a bacon sandwic...

I'll eat a bacon sandwich, although it's rather bunpignified behaviour.
#joke #short #food #sandwich #bacon
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 4.75/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (8)

Chuck Norris can drink soup wi...

Chuck Norris can drink soup with a fork faster than you can beg for mercy.
#joke #short #chuck-norris #food #soup
Joke | Source: Daily Chuck - Daily Chuck Norris Fact
  • Currently 5.25/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (12)

Little Johnny was not paying a...

Little Johnny was not paying attention in class so the math teacher called on him and said, “Johnny! What are 5, 2, 28 and 40?”

Little Johnny quickly replied, “NBC, CBS, HBO, and Cartoon Network!”
#joke #short
Joke | Source: MHINTZ0929's Blog - New funny joke each day
  • Currently 5.89/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (9)

Osama Bin Laden'

One day Osama Bin Laden is thinking: What should I blow up first? Then Osama Bin Laden said: "I have decided! bring the servent girl and tell her to get on her kneesand tell her to sacrifice her self!"

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 1.83/10

Rating: 1.8/10 (109)

I lost five pounds just by far...

I lost five pounds just by farting. Finally I see the air of my weighs.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 5.29/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (7)

The story of how I discovered ...

The story of how I discovered cutlery is completely metaforkal.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 4.88/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (8)

Harley Davidson billboards

Any guesses why are there so many Harley Davidson billboards on the highway?

It is to help the riders know how far it is to the next repair garage.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 5.40/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (10)

Tommy Johnagin: The Hardest Thing at Community College

The hardest thing to do at a community college is cheat on a test because the only people you can cheat off of also go to a community college.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 5.67/10

Rating: 5.7/10 (12)

Comparing Men to Dogs

How Dogs and Men Are the Same<

1. Both take up too much space on the bed.

2. Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning

3. Both mark their territory

4. Neither tells you what's bothering them

5. The smaller ones tend to be more nervous

6. Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches

7. Neither does any dishes

8. Both fart shamelessly

9. Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut

10. Both like dominance games

11. Both are suspicious of the postman

12. Neither understands what you see in cats

How Dogs Are Better Than Men

1. Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public

2. Dogs miss you when you're gone

3. Dogs feel guilty when they've done something wrong

4. Dogs admit when they're jealous<

5. Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out

6. Dogs do not play games with you, except fetch (and they never laugh at how you throw.)

7. You can train a dog

8. Dogs are easy to buy for

9. The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas. (OK, really, the worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there's a vaccine for it and you can kill the one that gives it to you).

10. Dogs understand what "no" means.

11. Dogs mean it when they kiss you.

#joke #short #animal #cat #dog
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (12)

Puns should be banned in  scho...

Puns should be banned in  schools: they're a dolt humour.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 4.50/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (6)

Chuck Norris can skip water on...

Chuck Norris can skip water on a rock.
#joke #short #chuck-norris
Joke | Source: Daily Chuck - Daily Chuck Norris Fact
  • Currently 3.07/10

Rating: 3.1/10 (69)

Maria Bamford: Money for Sex

Nobodys ever offered me money to have sex. Sure -- a Bud Light and a basket of curly fries, but not cash.
#joke #short #food #fries
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.88/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (8)

To kill all the cows, you need...

To kill all the cows, you need moo clear weapons.
#joke #short #animal #cow
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 3.82/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (11)

Hari Kondabolu: Progressive City

I just got back from Portland, Oregon. Portland, of course, is a very progressive city, one that does not spay or neuter its hippie population. So there is an overabundance.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 5.10/10

Rating: 5.1/10 (10)

Witness the history of botched...

Witness the history of botched castrations at the Err in Spays Museum.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 2.62/10

Rating: 2.6/10 (13)

Drinking from an aquarium is t...

Drinking from an aquarium is the height of eau-fishness.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 3.80/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (10)

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