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Short jokes - funny one liners (10401 to 10440)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 10401 to 10440. |
Every time a bell rings Chuck ...
Every time a bell rings Chuck Norris kills a bear.Kids jokes-Natural history lesson
The teacher was discussing natural history with her class of eight-year old kids.
She began by saying, "Do you know Worker ants can carry food particles that are five times their own weight. What is to be learnt from this?"
A kid raised his hand and replied: "They don't have a union."
She began by saying, "Do you know Worker ants can carry food particles that are five times their own weight. What is to be learnt from this?"
A kid raised his hand and replied: "They don't have a union."
Demetri Martin: How to Be a Bouncer
How to be a bouncer: 1) be an a**hole; 2) stand near a door.#joke #short
there was this boy who meet th...
there was this boy who meet this girl who wanted to make love with her. they kissed and licked each others privot thigs.#joke #short
The hedge-money of the investment bankers is over. #joke #short
Really funny jokes-Divorce is easy
Sam : You know what, it's really easy to get a divorce in the Middle East. A man is just required to say "I divorce you"to his wife 3 times and it's done!
Jack: It's even easier in the US. All a man has to say is "Yeah, that dress makes your butt look fat" once.
Jack: It's even easier in the US. All a man has to say is "Yeah, that dress makes your butt look fat" once.
Really funny jokes-Divorce is easy
Sam : You know what, it's really easy to get a divorce in the Middle East. A man is just required to say "I divorce you" to his wife 3 times and it's done!
Jack : It's even easier in the US. All a man has to say is "Yeah, that dress makes your butt look fat" once.
Jack : It's even easier in the US. All a man has to say is "Yeah, that dress makes your butt look fat" once.
Todd Barry: Book Lights
They sell book lights now, a little spotlight you attach to your book. You know, I actually thought about buying one of these, and then I remembered, I own a lamp. #joke #short
Spock was an organ donor. R...
Spock was an organ donor. “Leave lung and prosper.“#joke #short
The Icelandic parliament is in...
The Icelandic parliament is in recess. Althings must come to an end.#joke #short
Arj Barker: Never Drive on Grass
I never smoke grass and drive my car because, for one thing, no matter how many letters I write to the road commissions, they still refuse to start designing highways with second-chance exits.#joke #short
To preserve our marriage, my w...
To preserve our marriage, my wife and I have a no pun relationship.#joke #short
Confucius say: "Man who run be...
Confucius say: "Man who run behind car get exhausted, but man who run in front of car get tired."#joke #short
Victor Varnado: Black Albino, Ladies
Thats right -- Im a black albino, ladies. You know what Im talking about: all the benefits of being black, without the disappointing looks from your parents.#joke #short
A misplaced comma can cause a ...
A misplaced comma can cause a lot of confusion. Did you know that Nicholas Cage auditioned for Dirty, Hairy?#joke #short
Good jokes-Difference between Heaven and Hell
In Heaven:The cooks are French,
The policemen are English,
The mechanics are German,
The lovers are Italian,
The bankers are Swiss.
In Hell:
The cooks are English,
The policemen are German,
The mechanics are French,
The lovers are Swiss,
The bankers are Italian.
#joke #short
Demetri Martin: Thought You Were Someone Else
I was walking down the street, and this guy waved to me. Then he came up to me and said, Im sorry, I thought you were someone else. I said, I am.#joke #short
How does a permanent mar...
How does a permanent marker work? I simply can't de-scribe it.#joke #short
When someone told me there had...
When someone told me there had been a mixup and all my sausage was buried underground, I immediately exhumed the wurst.#joke #short
Light bulb jokes-How many cops
How many cops does it take to change light bulb?
Just one, but he is never around when you need him.
Only one, but he has to see an officer do it first.
Three, one to do it, one to direct traffic and one to say "Show's over, nothing left to see here, folks, move along."
Just one, but he is never around when you need him.
Only one, but he has to see an officer do it first.
Three, one to do it, one to direct traffic and one to say "Show's over, nothing left to see here, folks, move along."
#joke #short #policeman
Nick Swardson: Quitting Marijuana
The whole first week, I thought I was psychic. I thought I had new powers all of a sudden, you know. Id be like, Where are my keys? Oh, theyre in my pocket. How did I know that? Oh my gosh!#joke #short
I was sick at home, so drank s...
I was sick at home, so drank some OJ. Might as well make myself juiceful around the house.#joke #short
"Do you believe in life after ...
"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees."Yes, sir," the clerk replied.
"That's good," the boss said. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you."
#joke #short
When Tyson bit Holyfield, it w...
When Tyson bit Holyfield, it was earie.#joke #short
When Chuck Norris gives you th...
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Fined
Joe was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defense.“They should not put up such misleading notices,” said Joe.
“It said, FINE FOR PARKING HERE.”
#joke #short
Question: Where does Ice Cre...
Question: Where does Ice Cream go to school?Answer: Sundae School!
#joke #short
Tom Rhodes: Always the Negative Side
In America, all you ever get is the negative side of drinking: He got drunk and killed a busload of children. Come on, man. Its time someone pointed out the good in alcohol. Drinking creates conversation, right? You gotta call people the next day and apologize to em.I went to Cuba–and now I...
I went to Cuba–and now I'm cigared for life.#joke #short
One day the bass player hid on...
One day the bass player hid one of the drummers sticks.The drummer said, Finally! After being a drummer for so long, now I am a conductor!"
#joke #short
John Pinette: Ice Skating
Ice skating is now on my list of things in life I never care if I do again. Its like an anti-bucket list -- it rhymes with bucket, I can tell you that much.#joke #short
