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Short jokes - funny one liners (10481 to 10520)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 10481 to 10520. |
Sitting down is something I
Sitting down is something I chairish. #joke #short
#joke #short
Why do seagulls fly over the s...
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?If they flew over the bay, theyd by bagels!
#joke #short
Danny Bhoy: Bank in Debt
How can a bank be in debt? Does no one address that? Youre a bank: youve got all the money and stuff. If youre in debt, send someone off to the main computer, tell them to go to debts, select all, delete. Thats it, thats all you need to do. Then were all in the clear, right?#joke #short
We spend the first twelve mont...
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk, and the next Twenty-four years telling them to sit down and shut up!#joke #short
Despite his towering intellect...
Despite his towering intellect, Plato was a promiscuous womanizer, who inspired generations of feel lotsa furs.#joke #short
Rory Albanese: Penis Naming
I like when tough guys like to name their penises. Thats always weird. If youre really tough, you give your penis a female name. Thats a man. Show up to an orgy like, Ladies, meet Karen.#joke #short
A husband was accused by his w...
A husband was accused by his wife of farting. His plea: I no scent.#joke #short
They say Marilyn Monroe had a ...
They say Marilyn Monroe had a photographic mammary.#joke #short
Billy and John were given a to...
Billy and John were given a toboggan for their birthday.After they had been out playing in the snow, Billy was in tears.
Now, John, said his father, I told you to let Billy use the toboggan half the time.
And I did, said Billy; I had it going down, and he had it going up.
Daniel Tosh: Millionaire Game Show
Id like a game show with millionaires on it, and they have to play with their own money, and they cant win money, they can only lose til one them goes complete broke, and the shows called Ha Ha, Now Youre Poor. #joke #short
An eastern US mountain range b...
An eastern US mountain range by any other name would still be the Appalachian.#joke #short
What did the mayo say when som...
What did the mayo say when someone opened the refrigerator door?"Close the door, I'm dressing!"
#joke #short
It was the firs day of school,...
It was the firs day of school, and the first grade teacher decided to see how much her students knew about math.“Steven, can you tell me what is 3 and 2?” Steven said, “That’s when you should watch very, very carefully before you swing at the next pitch.”
#joke #short
Converting to Hinduism has ...
Converting to Hinduism has dharmatic consequences.#joke #short
Confused
What do you call a nun with a sex change?Tran-sister.
Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Curtis
#joke #short
Japanese camping tradition: ca...
Japanese camping tradition: campfires and Sumo'whores bars.#joke #short
What did the tired chess playe...
What did the tired chess player do?He took the knight off
#joke #short
The Biggest Loser: All Fem...
The Biggest Loser: All Female Edition is now on Broadweigh.#joke #short
Juston McKinney: Stay Off My Wall
My wife is actually a little upset with me right now because I wont approve her as a friend on my Facebook. Im like, You got every wall in the house. Can I have one wall without you popping up on and ruining it? Stay off my wall. #joke #short
When Lincoln freed the slaves,...
When Lincoln freed the slaves, he was striving for social equal Abraham.#joke #short
Leading hand sanitizers claim ...
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.#joke #short #chuck-norris
WOMEN ARE LIKE...
the stoc...
WOMEN ARE LIKE...the stock market...
They're irrational and can bankrupt you if you're not careful.
#joke #short
The gaping wound in my arm mak...
The gaping wound in my arm makes me want to kill myself. I have suicidal tendon sees.#joke #short
Shine On, You Crazy
How many Frat boys does it take to change a lightbulb?11... One to hold the lightbulb, and 10 to drink until the room spins.
#joke #short
Whenever I see five toes, I kn...
Whenever I see five toes, I know something is a foot.#joke #short
Paul Varghese: Knock Knock Joke
My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him. #joke #short
Mike Vecchione: Private Detective School
I went online to become a private detective. It was a private detective school online, and I paid online. But then I never heard from them again. I thought to myself, I either got ripped off or this is my first case. #joke #short
Peter called his doctor’s offi...
Peter called his doctor’s office for an appointment. “I’m sorry,” said the receptionist, “we can’t fit you in for at least two weeks.”“But I could be dead by then!”
“No problem. If your wife lets us know, we’ll cancel the appointment.”
#joke #short
I have encyclopedic knowledge ...
I have encyclopedic knowledge of amphibians, aka toadal recall.#joke #short
Peter called his doctors offi...
Peter called his doctors office for an appointment.Im sorry, said the receptionist, we cant fit you in for at least two weeks.
But I could be dead by then!
No problem. If your wife lets us know, well cancel the appointment.
#joke #short
Really funny jokes-Off day
A tourist asks a man in uniform, "Are you a policeman?""No, I am an undercover detective."
"So why are you in uniform?"
"Today is my day off."
#joke #short #policeman
Overheard in a bar:
Overheard in a bar:
Him: "I woke up with a hard-on this morning, and it had your name written all over it."
Her: "I'm sure my name is far too long to fit the whole thing on your dick."
Him: "Oh, yeah? What's your name?"
Her: "Lu." #joke #short
Him: "I woke up with a hard-on this morning, and it had your name written all over it."
Her: "I'm sure my name is far too long to fit the whole thing on your dick."
Him: "Oh, yeah? What's your name?"
Her: "Lu."
#joke #short
In a car accident, the Mercede...
In a car accident, the Mercedes benz.#joke #short
Insurance jokes-How actuaries do it
How actuaries do it...Actuaries do it without risk.
Actuaries do it with frequency and severity.
Actuaries do it until death or disability, whichever comes first.
#joke #short
Natasha Leggero: Boston Blackout
This girl comes up to me with this thick Boston accent and shes like, Hey, youve seriously never woke up at a party and some guy was inside you? I never woke up at a party. #joke #short
