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Short jokes - funny one liners (10521 to 10560)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 10521 to 10560. |
A male frog goes to a psychic...
A male frog goes to a psychic. The psychic tells him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."The frog becomes excited, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party?"
"No," says the psychic, "in her biology class."
A male frog went to a psychic....
A male frog went to a psychic.The psychic tells him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
The frog becomes excited, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party?"
"No," says the psychic, "in her biology class."
Myq Kaplan: Long Distance Relationship
The best part about dating someone who is overweight is, if its long distance, the distance is slightly less long. And gravity pulls you even closer. So, science really working for you. #joke #short
B.J. Novak: Learned Nothing in College
I learned nothing in college. It was really kind of my own fault. I had a double major: psychology and reverse psychology. #joke #short
Dieters know this: A waist is ...
Dieters know this: A waist is a terrible thing to mind!#joke #short
When it comes to constipation,...
When it comes to constipation, I've been a colonic underachiever.#joke #short
Christian Finnegan: Trivial Pursuit
You know what Im great at? Trivial Pursuit. What good is that gonna do you in life? It has the word trivial in the name. The game is basically telling you that you pursue trivial things. Trivial -- as in not important. Trivial -- as in maybe you shouldve gone to grad school.#joke #short
How does an archeologist te...
Q: How does an archeologist tell a male skeleton from a female skeleton?A: He knows it’s a female skeleton if the jawbone is worn down.
#joke #short
Q: What do you call a laug...
Q: What do you call a laughing motorcycle?A: A Yamahahaha!!!
#joke #short
Bill Burr: What Cubicles Say
You know what a cubicle basically says? It basically says, like, You know what? We dont think youre smart enough for an office, but we dont want you to look at anybody. #joke #short
Motto of a transsexual hooker ...
Motto of a transsexual hooker - “If you build tit, they will come.“#joke #short
Chuck Norris doesn't shower; h...
Chuck Norris doesn't shower; he only takes blood baths.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Hilarious jokes-Red faced judge
A red-faced judge convened court after a long lunch. The first case involved a man charged with drunk driving who claimed it simply wasn't true.
"I'm as sober as you are, your honor," the man claimed.
The judge replied, "Clerk, please enter a guilty plea. The defendant is sentenced to 30 days."
"I'm as sober as you are, your honor," the man claimed.
The judge replied, "Clerk, please enter a guilty plea. The defendant is sentenced to 30 days."
If a man is in the forest, tal...
If a man is in the forest, talking to himself, with no woman around is he still wrong?#joke #short
I was in Paris, with orders to...
I was in Paris, with orders to replace my boss's antique white chesspieces. He told me, “Spare no expense!” He gave me a blanc échec.#joke #short
First Time at a Unitarian Service
A man goes to a Unitarian Universalist service for the first time, and later is asked what he thought of it. "Darndest church I ever went to," he replies, "the only time I heard the name of Jesus Christ was when the janitor fell down the stairs."
#joke #short
Demetri Martin: Glitter
I like to do crafts. I work with glitter quite a bit. Dont worry, I make tough stuff like daggers and skulls. The thing about glitter is, if you get it on you, be prepared to have it on you forever cause glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.#joke #short
I tuned out my barber. He tend...
I tuned out my barber. He tends to lather on.#joke #short
There's a lot of roads i...
There's a lot of roads in Carpathia.#joke #short
1st man: "My neighbors were sc...
1st man: "My neighbors were screaming and yelling at three o'clock this morning!"2nd man: "Did they wake you?"
1st man: "Nah....I was up playing my bagpipes."
#joke #short
Paul F. Tompkins: Had to Be There
If something is inherently funny, its relatable after the fact. Anyone who says, You had to be there, should just not have told you the thing in the first place because its not funny.#joke #short
A man went out behind his barn...
A man went out behind his barn and caught his son playing with his manhood. The father said, "Son, get a girl. She'd be twice as good as what you're doing there."The son replied, "Dad, if she'd twice as good as this, I don't think I could stand it."
Little Johnny's class were on ...
Little Johnny's class were on an outing to their local police station where they saw pictures, of the ten most wanted men, tacked to a bulletin board. On the way out of the police station Little Johnny said to the officer, "it was so nice of you to put my daddy's picture up there."#joke #short #policeman
Arab cannibal's favourit...
Arab cannibal's favourite flavour: Yemen-lime.#joke #short
Chuck Norris can gargle peanut...
Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.Hilarious jokes-True
Judge: "Is it true that you owe your neighbor a thousand dollars?"Defendant: "Yes, it's true."
Judge: "Then, why don't you just pay him back?"
Defendant: "Because it wouldn't be true anymore."
#joke #short
Heard your wife left you,
...
Heard your wife left you,How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.
#joke #short
Chuck Norris once punched a ma...
Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Mike Birbiglia: A Little Unstable
I used to think I was a little unstable, and then I met every girl Ive ever dated.#joke #short
Gossips are fun people, ron...
Gossips are fun people, pry merrily.#joke #short
Women are the quickest to lear...
Women are the quickest to learn the three R’s. This is R’s, that’s R’s, everything’s R’s.#joke #short
