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Short jokes - funny one liners (10561 to 10600)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 10561 to 10600. |
Mother had just finished waxin...
Mother had just finished waxing the floors when she heard her young son opening the front door.She shouted, Be careful on that floor, Jimmy; its just been waxed.
Jimmy, walking right in, replied, Dont worry, Mom, Im wearing my cleats.
I was so confused in Africa. I...
I was so confused in Africa. It's a Mozambiquous place.#joke #short
A duck's quack does not echo. ...
A duck's quack does not echo. Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at you, grimly.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Insurance agents joke-Light bulb
How many insurance agents does it take to change a light bulb?That depends on whether the light bulb burned alone or with the whole house.
#joke #short
Dear Pun Gents
Dear Pun Gents, I need a name for a bowling team. The event is St. Patrick's Day and our team works for a power/electric utility. ~Tricia, Sanford, FL #joke #short
Church Etiquette
A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service,“And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”
One bright little girl replied, “Because people are sleeping.”
#joke #short
Michael Showalter: Comedy for the First Time
Doing comedy for the first time for me was very similar to losing my virginity. It was awkward, uncomfortable, but I did get a lot of laughs.#joke #short
Championing the metric system ...
Championing the metric system in the US requires a charismatic liter.#joke #short
Funny jokes-The Heart Attack Grill
In Las Vegas a diner suffered a heart attack while eating at a restaurant called The Heart Attack Grill. Even worse, it totally ruined the man's plans to take his date back to his room at the Chlamydia Hilton.
Idiot
Don't argue with an idiot!People watching may not be able to tell the difference.
#joke #short
A Raise
"Sir," said the timid employee to his boss, "my wife says I'm to ask you for a raise."
"Fine," the boss replied. "I'll ask my wife if I can give you one."
#joke #short
Q: What sits on the bottom...
Q: What sits on the bottom of the ocean and twitches?A: A nervous wreck!
#joke #short
A broken leg isn't serio...
A broken leg isn't serious. It tends to a femur-al.#joke #short
Brian Regan: One Eye Set Higher
My eye doctor told me this, Im not making this up. He goes, You know you have one eye set a little bit higher than your other eye? No, I didnt know that. He goes, Its no big deal; it doesnt affect your vision or anything. I just thought you might want to be self-conscious for the rest of your life.
At The Bar
I was sitting at a bar with a friend the other night when he casually pointed across the bar from us and said, "see those two old drunks sitting there...that's going to be us in ten years."
I looked and him and said, "that's a mirror stupid!"
#joke #short
"Mommy, one of the kids a...
"Mommy, one of the kids at school called me a sissy.""So what did you do, Zachary?"
"I hit him with my purse!"
#joke #short
The Denver Broncos quarterback...
The Denver Broncos quarterback bought part of the team. It's being called the Tebow stake.#joke #short
Id like two pork chops, ask...
Id like two pork chops, asked the woman of her butcher, and make them lean.Yes maam, said the polite butcher, standing them on end. Which way?
#joke #short
One who runs in front of the c...
One who runs in front of the car gets tired.One who runs behind gets exhausted.
#joke #short
If you want to hand out commun...
If you want to hand out communion, you have to assign a wafer.#joke #short
Chuck Norris doesn't brush his...
Chuck Norris doesn't brush his teeth, he scares the plaque off each morning by snarling in the mirror.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Q: What did the traffic li...
Q: What did the traffic light say to the car?A: Don't look I'm changing!
#joke #short
Greatest Comedian in the Bible
Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.
#joke #short
Some say that Germans have no ...
Some say that Germans have no emotions, because they are from the planet Vulcan. Spocken Sie Deutsche?#joke #short
Really funny jokes-Bird impressions
An actor went to see a new agent one day and said, `You must have a look at my act, it really is innovative. So saying, he flew up to the ceiling, circled the room a few times and landed smoothly on the agent's desk.
`So you do bird impressions, said the agent, `what else can you do?
`So you do bird impressions, said the agent, `what else can you do?
The best way to end a fight...
Two women were at a bar. One looked at the other and said, "You know, eighty percent of all men think the best way to end a fight is to make love."
"Well," said the other woman, "if that was true, that would certainly revolutionize the game of hockey!"
I knew a scientist who hypothe...
I knew a scientist who hypothesized that women's breasts could be used to propel a canoe. Unfortunately, his theory was not very row bust.#joke #short
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made. #joke #short #chuck-norris
Beauty may be in the eye of th...
Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder. But booty is in the hand of the buttholder. Pain in the eye of the beeholder.#joke #short
When the policeman arrested th...
When the policeman arrested the furniture repairman, he claimed to be upholstering the law.#joke #short #policeman
Hilarious jokes-Comments by actress
From the mini-series "Moviola," an actress commenting on a director's last film :"I could swallow a can of Kodak and puke a better movie than that."
#joke #short
The Dyslexic Rabbi
Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
A: He walks around saying "Yo."
#joke #short
