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Short jokes - funny one liners (11161 to 11200)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 11161 to 11200. |
Chuck Norris once pulled out a...
Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Married life is frustrating
Married life is very frustrating.In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
#joke #short
Dan Cummins: Yearly Homeless Charity
I dont know if you know this about me, but once a year, instead of giving one homeless guy a dollar, I step it up. I buy $50 bucks worth of malt liquor, hide it in the park. #joke #short
Secrets of a good relationship...
Secrets of a good relationship.....1. It is important to find a woman that cooks and cleans.
2. It is important to find a woman that makes good money.
3. It is important to find a woman that likes to have sex.
4. It is important that these three women never meet.
#joke #short
From a passenger ship, everyon...
From a passenger ship, everyone can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting and desperately waving his hands."Who is it?" a passenger asks the captain.
"I've no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes nuts."
#joke #short
If you have insomnia AND write...
If you have insomnia AND writer's block, take nigh quill.#joke #short
Human cloning is outlawed beca...
Human cloning is outlawed because of Chuck Norris, because then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.#joke #short #chuck-norris
From a passenger ship, everyon...
From a passenger ship, everyone can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting and desperately waving his hands."Who is it?" a passenger asks the captain.
"I've no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes nuts."
#joke #short
Mo Mandel: Bought But Never Used
Our high school coach got caught with meth at a game. And he told the school that he had bought it, but never used it. Ive never bought drugs and not used them. Right? Theyre not condoms. #joke #short
"You know you are getting old ...
"You know you are getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there."#joke #short
Don't borrow a friend...
Don't borrow a friend's pants, even if you have diarrhea. You need to shart your own cords.#joke #short
Real Smart
This one happened few years ago in Switzerland: A man went to a photo shop, had pictures taken, and – while the photographer developed the pictures – he took off with the cash register.Leaving behind, of course, the pictures of himself.
#joke #short
Chuck Norris' tears cure cance...
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.#joke #short #chuck-norris
"You know you are getting old ...
"You know you are getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there."#joke #short
Government Philosophy: If it a...
Government Philosophy: If it ain't broke, fix it 'till it is.#joke #short
Police marine units, aka ro...
Police marine units, aka row boat cops.#joke #short #policeman
Chuck Norris' cowboy boots are...
Chuck Norris' cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.Mohondas Gand...
Mohondas Gandhi loved Japanese cars.#joke #short
Funny jokes-Inconsiderate husband
Question. What is the definition of an inconsiderate husband?Answer. One who wins a trip to Paris and goes by himself, twice.
#joke #short
Chuck Norris once went skydivi...
Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.#joke #short #chuck-norris
The Boomer government reports ...
The Boomer government reports that Depends spending is on the rise, especially incontinents with European forces or near the Pissific Ocean.#joke #short
Chuck Norris invented the spoo...
Chuck Norris invented the spoon because killing somebody with a knife is too easy.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Supporting a family...
Sam had proposed to young Lisa and was being interviewed by his prospective father-in-law.
"Do you think you are earning enough to support a family?" the older man asked the suitor.
"Yes, sir," replied Sam, "I am."
"Well," said Lisa's father, "think carefully now. There are six of us."
You know something's wro...
You know something's wrong when you're on porno set and you hear ‘teste, teste, 1,2,3‘#joke #short
Funny jokes-Expensive fishing trip!
Ole (Norwegian) and Sven (Swedish) went on a fishing trip to Canada and come back with only three fish.
Ole says, "The way I figger it, Sven, each of them fish cost us $400.
Well, at dat price it's a good ting we didn't catch any more of em than we did," says Sven.
Ole says, "The way I figger it, Sven, each of them fish cost us $400.
Well, at dat price it's a good ting we didn't catch any more of em than we did," says Sven.
Once a grizzly bear threatened...
Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.Rory Albanese: Kids With ADD
Follow this sentence: children who cant pay attention are considered to have a disorder. Children who cant pay attention? I dont know, he just wont focus. He could be seven. That could be the issue. #joke #short
Chuck Norris can stop mid-snee...
Chuck Norris can stop mid-sneeze...with his eyes open.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat dea...
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Phone service...
Classmates at college were lamenting the cost of long distance phone service and debating the relative advantages of AT&T, MCI, and Sprint.
"I've found CTC to be the cheapest plan around," offered one.
"CTC? Who are they?"
"You know," he responded. "Call Them Collect."
#joke #short
French hunters love grapefruit...
French hunters love grapefruit. It's what lets them pump le moose.#joke #short
Bathroom Break
On the first day of school, about mid-morning, the kindergarten teacher said, “If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers.”
A little voice from the back of the room asked, “How will that help?”
#joke #short
Economy jokes-DOW average
Q: What will happen if the DOW average falls any further?
A: They'll add a N to the end of it!
A: They'll add a N to the end of it!
#joke #short
What's Gadhafi's f...
What's Gadhafi's favourite word game? Mad Libyas.#joke #short
Chuck Norris uses pepper spray...
Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.Brian Regan: Pick Somebody at Random
You know whats fun? You pick somebody at random, like out of the phone book, and send them about 100 Just Because cards. They cant even ask you why you did it. #joke #short
