|
Short jokes - funny one liners (11121 to 11160)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 11121 to 11160. |
Jeff Dunham: On Reincarnation
Jeff Dunham: Well if reincarnation happens, who would you come back as and what would you do?Walter: Id come back as my wife and leave me the hell alone.
#joke #short
Q. Why do University of Michi...
Q. Why do University of Michigan graduates hang their diplomas from their rear view mirror?A. So they can use handicapped parking.
#joke #short
My friend took joint ownership...
My friend took joint ownership in a grow-op, out in the Hempsteads. The place had gone to weed and needed grass, but after applying some THC–tender hearted care–it looked spliffy in no time.#joke #short
Everybody loves Raymond. Excep...
Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Jeff Dunham: Sissy-ness of the Law
Walter: I aint afraid of the cops around Santa Ana. You seen some of these guys? What, cops on bicycles? How intimidating is this: Alright buddy, pull it over. Ching-ching-ching? What do they do when they arrest somebody? Alright, get in the basket. #joke #short
Yo Mama so old...
Yo Mama so old her social security # is 1.#joke #short #yomama
Someone overturned my port-a-p...
Someone overturned my port-a-potty! So I pressed litigation, hiring lawyer John Flip Sues-aChuck Norris can do a roundhou...
Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.#joke #short #chuck-norris
I find that aldermen are too w...
I find that aldermen are too wooden.#joke #short
Economy jokes-Harvest crunch
The Allied Irish Bank has issued a credit warning about Kellogg's, they are worried about the Harvest Crunch.
#joke #short
Chuck Norris on a pogo stick p...
Chuck Norris on a pogo stick presents a danger to low flying aircraft.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Thai Rivera: Paying Customer
I cant stand homeless people. I dont feel bad about saying it. I dont mind saying it because I give homeless people money. I give them more money than I should, so I feel, as a paying customer, I have a right to complain. #joke #short
Tired sperm
Two sperms were swimming along when one says to the other "Man I'm getting tired, how far is it to the uterus anyway?"The other sperm laughs and says "Uterus!, we aren't even through the esophagus yet."
Submitted by curtis
Edited by calamjo, Tantilazing and hottrouble1
There's an old proverb t...
There's an old proverb that recommends against circumcision: Spear the rod, spoil the child.#joke #short
Death once had a near-Chuck-No...
Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Bending over in a prison showe...
Bending over in a prison shower calls for soaper second thought.#joke #short
Loose-fitting
Lucy teaches many aerobic classes. She told a lady who was looking to sign up for the class to just wear loose-fitting clothing to the class.
“Honey,” the lady replied, “if I had any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't be signing up for an exercise class.”
Really funny jokes-In case of emergency
A Spanish guy enters a hospital to have a minor operation.A nurse begins to take down his information: name, insurance company, etc.
"In case of emergency, whom should we notify?"
"You mean if I become very sick?"
"Well . . . yes."
"If that happens, call a doctor!"
Chuck Norris' every step creat...
Chuck Norris' every step creates a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of a morning jog.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Myq Kaplan: New Game Show
I have a new idea for a game show for people who are high, and its called Can You Remember What You Just Saw? Thats actually the bonus round. Round one is Can You Describe Whats in Front of You Right Now? OK, you got it? Were going to take it away. What was it? We will not accept awesome. #joke #short
Blonde - Tracks
Three Blonds are walking down the street when they see sometracks. The first one said "I think they are dog tracks", The
second one said "I think they are cow tracks". The third one
said "I think they are Dodo bird tracks". What happened next?
They all got hit by a train!
Those with dandruff have a cer...
Those with dandruff have a certain flecks a' peel.#joke #short
They once tried to carve Chuck...
They once tried to carve Chuck Norris' face into Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Knock Knock Collection 144
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ozzie!
Ozzie who?
Ozzie you later!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Pablo!
Pablo who?
Pablo your horn!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Pammy!
Pammy who?
Pammy the key, the door is locked!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Paris!
Paris who?
Paris the thought!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Parton!
Parton who?
Parton my French!
#joke #short
Biblical Financiers
Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.
#joke #short
Chuck Norris has never been in...
Chuck Norris has never been in a fight, ever. Do you call one roundhouse kick to the face a fight?#joke #short #chuck-norris
John Mulaney: Benchwarmer Humiliation
I played basketball for five years, and I was a benchwarmer all five years. If you were never a benchwarmer, I cannot express to you the humiliation of, every Saturday morning, putting on a pair of breakaway pants and never having a reason to break them away -- then theyre just pants. #joke #short
Modern Science
Researchers say they've discovered a tree extract that couldhelp to prevent herpes...
.. Must be a rubber tree...
#joke #short
