|
Short jokes - funny one liners (11241 to 11280)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 11241 to 11280. |
Hilarious jokes-History or Geography
First thing one Monday morning, a robber broke into the bank, and pointed his guns at the cashier said,
'Give me all your money, or you'll be GEOGRAPHY!'
The cashier laughed and said, 'You mean to say 'HISTORY.'
The robber answered, 'Don't change the subject.'
'Give me all your money, or you'll be GEOGRAPHY!'
The cashier laughed and said, 'You mean to say 'HISTORY.'
The robber answered, 'Don't change the subject.'
Chuck Norris can dribble a foo...
Chuck Norris can dribble a football.A doctor is complaining to a mechanic...
A doctor is talking to a car mechanic, "Your fee is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical care." "Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it hasn't changed since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every month."
A man goes to an optician aski...
A man goes to an optician asking for help about his shortsightedness.The optician invites the man to go outside the shop, points to the sun and asks the man what that is. The man somewhat stunned replies obviously: that’s the sun! Thereafter the optician asks: but how far do you want to see?
#joke #short
If you go to Medieval Times an...
If you go to Medieval Times and watch the jousts, there is a sir charge.#joke #short
All roads lead to Chuck Norris...
All roads lead to Chuck Norris. And by the transitive property, a roundhouse kick to the face.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Lavell Crawford: Get to Heaven
If I get to Heaven and God is white, Id be like, I knew it all along. Show me to the hood. But if I get to Heaven and God is black, thats going to piss me off a little bit. Id be like, Aint this a bitch? Youve been black all along? Aint you been seeing what the hells going on down there? #joke #short
Bicyclists are always pedallin...
Bicyclists are always pedalling their wheres.#joke #short
Really funny jokes-FIAT
What does FIAT stand for?* Fix it again Tony
* Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
* Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
* Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights
#joke #short
Chuck Norris once sued Burger ...
Chuck Norris once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr, insisting that that actually is "his" way.Funny jokes-Hillbilly
What's the difference between a good ol' boy and a hillbilly?The good ol' boy raises livestock. The hillbilly gets emotionally involved.
#joke #short
When Chuck Norris does a pushu...
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Glenn Wool: Uncle Sam
You know who Uncle Sam is, hes that goat-faced dude who dresses like Apollo Creed. Hes always pointing at you. He wants you. Is that really the imagery we should be listening to? An uncle who looks like hes about to touch you? Uncle Sam wants you to keep a secret.
The black eye...
Mr. Bailey saw his son's shiner and demanded, "Scott, who gave you that black eye?"
"No one gave it to me dad," replied the spunky lad. "I had to fight for it."
#joke #short
Caesar accused Brutus of canni...
Caesar accused Brutus of cannibalism. “Ate dudes, Bruté?”#joke #short
They were going to release a C...
They were going to release a Chuck Norris edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be "Chuck Norris. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick."#joke #short #chuck-norris
Programmer Defined
A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn't knowyou had in a way you don't understand.
#joke #short
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, w...
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
#joke #short
Jupiter's Great Red Spot isn't...
Jupiter's Great Red Spot isn't a storm. It's where Chuck Norris puts his victims.#joke #short #chuck-norris
Two molecules are walking down...
Two molecules are walking down the street; one bumps into the other and says:"Oh, my fault, you okay?”
The Second Molecule says: "No, I'm not ok, I've lost an electron!" So the first molecule says: "Are you sure" the second molecule answers, "I'm positive!"
#joke #short
Chuck Norris does not kick but...
Chuck Norris does not kick butt and take names. In fact, Chuck Norris kicks butt and assigns the corpse a number. It is currently recorded to be in the billions.#joke #short #chuck-norris
I don't usually water my...
I don't usually water my grass in the morning, but I guess I'm lawn over dew.#joke #short
Chuck Norris does not go hunti...
Chuck Norris does not go hunting. Chuck Norris goes killing.Man: Is this seat empty?
...
Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
#joke #short
Man: Is this seat empty?
...
Man: Is this seat empty?Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
#joke #short
Laxative manufacturers rely on...
Laxative manufacturers rely on their bran equity.#joke #short
Why did President Truman drop ...
Why did President Truman drop the first atomic bomb? Because he thought it would be more humane than sending in Chuck Norris.#joke #short #chuck-norris
A frog telephones the Psychic ...
A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline for advice.The Psychic tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
The frog is thrilled... "This is great! Will I meet her at a party?"
"No," says his Advisor," in her biology class."
In 1945, Adolf Hitler was real...
In 1945, Adolf Hitler was really kicked to death by a five year old Chuck Norris.#joke #short #chuck-norris
The judge warned the witness, ...
The judge warned the witness, Do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth?I do.
Do you understand what will happen if you are not truthful?
Sure, said the witness. My side will win.
#joke #short
These days all airlines offer ...
These days all airlines offer services such as wifi and Sky pee.#joke #short
Chck Norris listens to "Requie...
Chck Norris listens to "Requiem for a Tower" when he eats waffles.#joke #short
Pete Holmes: The Museum
I dont care about the museum, I only care that people think Im the kind of guy who goes to museums. #joke #short
Ethiopian
What do you call an Ethiopian taking a shit? A show-off!#joke #short
Birthday surprise...
Jane was surprised to receive ten dollars from her Aunt for her birthday. The Aunt asked how she was going to spend it.
"I'm taking it to Sunday School and giving it to God." the little girl replied.
"He'll be just as surprised as I was at not getting a dollar like usual."
#joke #short
