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Short jokes - funny one liners (12441 to 12480)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 12441 to 12480. |
Two babies lies in the birth section
Baby 1: I'm a boy.Baby 2: prove it.
Baby 1: Not in front of the nurse.
Baby 2: Okay The nurse leaves
Baby 2: Prove it.
Baby 1: Look, blue socks...
#joke #short
NED: St Patrick's day is...
NED: St Patrick's day is 10 months away. Should I work on my Irish accent?ED: No, if it ain't brogue, don't fix it.
#joke #short
Reggie Watts: Cultural Awareness
Cultures are really important to be aware of. Theres over four of them.#joke #short
What's white and if it fell ou...
What's white and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?A fridge.
#joke #short
And a day was born...
God: "Whew! I just created a 24-hour period of alternating light and darkness of Earth."
Angel: "What are you going to do now?"
God: "Call it a day."
#joke #short
How is British Petroleum like ...
How is British Petroleum like speech recognition software?#joke #short
Two goldfish are in their tank...
Two goldfish are in their tank.It was my first time opening m...
It was my first time opening my mouth that wide, but he promised he'd be dental.#joke #short
Daniel Tosh: God Does Not Hate Gay People
God does not hate gay people. Hes just mad because they found a loophole in His system. #joke #short
A guy walks into a bar and the...
A guy walks into a bar and there is a horse serving drinks. The guy stares until the horse finally says, “What’s the problem? Haven’t you ever seen a horse serving drinks before?”The guy says, “No, it’s not that. It is just that I never thought the ferret would sell the place.”
Brian Regan: Einstein
They always say that Albert Einstein was a genius. Then how come when anyone ever calls you that, its an insult? You dont know where you parked the car? Good job, Einstein. I dont think were honoring that man properly by using his name in vain in parking lots. #joke #short
"Everybody is talking abo...
"Everybody is talking about finding bin Laden. How about finding Dick Cheney? Where did he go? What have we got caves over here now, too? Where did he go? I think his Secret Service code name is 'Waldo." -- Jay Leno#joke #short
Mary comes home rather late. ...
Mary comes home rather late. “Oh, sweetheart,” she called, “your car’s on Maple Street.”“Why didn’t you bring it home?” her husband asked. “Couldn’t, she said. “It’s too dark out there to find all the parts.”
#joke #short
How many surrealists does it t...
How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?An apple a day....
While visiting a friend who was in the hospital, I noticed several pretty nurses, each of whom was wearing a pin designed to look like an apple. I asked one nurse what the pin signified. "Nothing," she said with a smile. "It's just to keep the doctors away."
"A White House spokesman ...
"A White House spokesman announced today that Vice President Dick Cheney's recovery is exceeding his doctor's expectations. You know what that means? He's still alive." -- Jay Leno#joke #short
I hate math. And when I think ...
I hate math. And when I think about integers divisible by two, I feel even number.#joke #short
Pierced Ears and Marriage
Q. Why are Jewish men with pierced ears well prepared for marriage?
A. Because they’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Joke shared by Beliefnet member BeliefnetSabee
#joke #short
Passing gas takes courage, aka...
Passing gas takes courage, aka intestinal fartitude.#joke #short
Dead Atheist
Q: What do you call a dead atheist?
A: Someone all dressed up with nowhere to go!
- Joke shared by Beliefnet member sharohio
#joke #short
“Didn’t you suspect burglars h...
“Didn’t you suspect burglars had been in the house when you saw all the drawers pulled out and the contents scattered all over the floor?” asked the policeman.“No, I just thought my husband had been looking for a clean shirt,” replied the woman.
#joke #short #policeman
I am comforted by porcelain gn...
I am comforted by porcelain gnomes. In a way they're like my garden angels.#joke #short
Easy diagnosis....
A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
"What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor.
The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."
The economy is so bad that:If ...
The economy is so bad that:If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.#joke #short
Tammy Pescatelli: At a Baseball Game With Grandpa
In the middle of the game, he jumps up. He starts screaming at the top his lungs, hes like, 80,000 people! 80,000 people! I go, Papa, whats wrong? He goes 80,000 -- and that bird had to sh*t on me.Billy and Tommy were watching ...
Billy and Tommy were watching a boat pull a man on skis across the lake.“What makes that boat go so fast?” asked little Billy.
It’s because that man on the string is chasing it,” said Tommy.
#joke #short
The fellow who...
The fellow who removed all his body hair was considered a nair do well. In fact he manscaped from prison. When he was recaptured, he received ten wax to the back. What a follicle from grace.#joke #short
Whenever I'm feeling dep...
Whenever I'm feeling depressed, I go watch German acrobats. That turns my frau upside down.#joke #short
Do data miners work at the ...
Do data miners work at the query?#joke #short
