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Short jokes - funny one liners (12561 to 12600)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 12561 to 12600. |
With recent budget cuts, Satan...
With recent budget cuts, Satan has had to cut back on regular maintenance, which has left Hades in a state of grim repair.#joke #short
Megan Mooney: Big Catholic Family
Im from a big Irish family, which is cool. My parents had seven children, but I dont think they wanted seven kids. Theyre Catholic, so that means they love Jesus and hate four of us.#joke #short
Tom Rhodes: Christian Tax Services
Im ready to file. Im going through the Yellow Pages trying to find someone to help me. I come across Christian Tax Services. Now, I believe in God, I believe in Jesus -- but when it comes to taxes, I want the lyingest, cheatingest scum on the planet to help me screw the government.#joke #short
An American stood in London lo...
An American stood in London looking at a large building. A British boy walked by and stood beside the American."You know, boy," said the American, "in the States we have that kind of building too, but they are four times higher."
"Really?" replied the boy. "How sad. That is a mental hospital."
#joke #short
An Albertan's favourite ...
An Albertan's favourite movie? Tarsand.#joke #short
Go kart racing makes me dizzy....
Go kart racing makes me dizzy. It gives me veer to go.#joke #short
Mo Mandel: Bought But Never Used
Our high school coach got caught with meth at a game. And he told the school that he had bought it but never used it. Ive never bought drugs and not used them. Right? Theyre not condoms.#joke #short
Which Way Did He Go?
Q: Which way did the thief go when he stole the computer?A: "Data-way."
#joke #short
Was Ireland a hotbed of glam r...
Was Ireland a hotbed of glam rock?#joke #short
Demetri Martin: Bumper Stickers
A lot of people dont like bumper stickers. I dont mind bumper stickers. To me, a bumper sticker is a short cut. Its like a little sign that says, Hey, lets never hang out.#joke #short
Dane Cook: Kool-Aid Crash
Remember the commercials for Kool-Aid? That big bowl of punch come crashing through your wall, Oh yeah! Oh yeah! All the little kids in the commercial are like, Ha ha ha! Im in my living room, like, Run! Go! Get the funk out of there!#joke #short
A motorist caught by a speed c...
A motorist caught by a speed camera received notification of a fine in the mail, plus a picture of his vehicle. Duly impressed, he sent back the notification along with a photo of a $100 note to pay the fine.#joke #short
During a robbery, one of the r...
During a robbery, one of the robbers mask slid down.He looked at a man and asked. Did you see my face?
The man said yes! The robber shot him.
Then he asked a woman. Did you see my face?
She said no, but my husband over there did.
#joke #short
Careful - if you kiss an Irish...
Careful - if you kiss an Irish rock star, you might get Bono.#joke #short
Two cattle drovers standing in...
Two cattle drovers standing in an Outback bar.One asked, "What are you up to, Mate?"
Ahh, I'm takin' a mob of 6000 from Goondiwindi to Gympie."
"Oh yeah ... and what route are you takin'?"
"Ah, prob'ly the Missus; after all, she stuck by me durin' the drought
#joke #short
Stopping The Hillbilly
This hillbilly is traveling across Texas when a state policeman pulls him over.
"You got any I.D.?" the patrolman asked."
"'Bout what?" the hillbilly replied.
#joke #short #policeman
A Scotsman is on holiday in New York City...
A Scotsman is on holiday in New York City. Its a balmy spring day and he is wearing a kilt. A young woman comes up to him and boldly asks him if anything is worn beneath the kilt. No lassie he replies, everything is in fine working order.#joke #short
Brain Transplant
"How can I ever thank you?" gushed a woman to Clarence Darrow, after he had solved her legal troubles.
"My dear woman," Darrow replied, "ever since the Phoenicians invented money there has been only one answer to that question."
#joke #short
How to remember Greek mytholog...
How to remember Greek mythological trivia: use Agamemnemonics.#joke #short
Philosophy Exam #joke #humor
A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination.On the paper there was a single line which simply said: "Is this a question?" - Discuss.
After a short time he wrote: "If that is a question, then this is an answer."
The student received an "A" on the exam.
#joke #short
Bill Santiago: Thank You, Ricky Martin
Weve gone far ever since Ricky Martin. Thank you, Ricky. Who would have thought all you had to do to make Latin music so popular is just take out all the Latin music.#joke #short
To soon to tell?
The morning after their honeymoon night, the wife says to her husband, "you know, You're really a lousy lover!"
The husband replies, "How would you know after only 30 seconds?"
#joke #short
Rory Albanese: Program for Kids
I bought a bunch of land in upstate New York, and I built a bunch of cabins and bunks and things on it. Figured, Im going to start a summer program for kids with ADD. I dont know, no one showed up. I dont know what I did wrong. I was calling it: Concentration Camp.#joke #short
William Bennett recalls when o...
William Bennett recalls when one of his "radical students" at Boston University announced that he and his girlfriend were getting married for "as long as we feel good about each other."It seemed rather temporary to Dr. Bennett, so for a wedding present, he says, "I gave them paper plates.
