|
Short jokes - funny one liners (12601 to 12640)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 12601 to 12640. |
A recent survey shows that the...
A recent survey shows that the commonest form of marriage proposal these days consists of the words:"You're WHAT?!?!?"
#joke #short
Hot sauna in the highe...
Hot sauna in the highest, in excess celsius day-o!#joke #short
Americans are taking on too mu...
Americans are taking on too much debt, and it's putting kinks in the economy. They love state-owe-masochism, getting fiscaled, bondage, and other stimulus measures. This is why they are being punished on the S&M 500.#joke #short
Good news and bad news...
A woman phones up her husband at work for a chat.
HIM "I'm sorry dear but I'm up to my neck in work today."
HER "But I've got some good news and some bad news for you dear."
HIM "OK darling, but as I've got no time now, just give me the good news."
HER "Well, the air bag works."
#joke #short
I bought a castle and threw a ...
I bought a castle and threw a housewarming party. I was the host with the moats!#joke #short
April 1, 2009
It is on this date every year that magician and self-proclaimed stuntman David Blaine does absolutely nothing interesting.#joke #short
An 85-year-old widow went on a...
An 85-year-old widow went on a blind date with a 90-year-old man.When she returned to her daughter's house later that night, she seemed upset.
"What happened, Mother?" the daughter asked.
"I had to slap his face three times!"
"You mean he got fresh?"
"No," she answered. "I thought he was dead!"
German intellectuals have ofte...
German intellectuals have often been accused of taking Goethe hormones.#joke #short
100 Buckets Of Bits
100 Buckets of Bits
100 buckets of bits on the bus
100 buckets of bits
Take one down, short it to ground
FF buckets of bits on the bus
FF buckets of bits on the bus
FF buckets of bits
Take one down, short it to ground
FE buckets of bits on the bus
...
#joke #short
The poorly endowed man committ...
The poorly endowed man committed suicide because he didn't be long.#joke #short
There were two blondes, and th...
There were two blondes, and they had just came from a store.The blonde that owned the mustang had locked her keys in the car. She was trying to pick the lock when she stoped to rest for a second.
When she sat down, her friend said, "Hurry up, it's starting to rain and the top's down!"
GM recently shut down the popu...
GM recently shut down the popular SUV brand because it was Hummeraghing red ink.#joke #short
Slot machine
The old maid walked into the butcher shop and ordered a salami.The butcher put it on the machine and began slicing.
The old maid yelled, "Hey, what do you think I am, a slot machine?"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by yisman
#joke #short
The Sklar Brothers: Andrew Dice Clay
Jason Sklar: After Dice performs for an hour its no longer a comedy room. Its a disaster area. Randy Sklar: I dont want to say it was a disaster area, but FEMA showed up three weeks late.
#joke #short
"There is a little discre...
"There is a little discrepancy about what happened on this hunt, because Ann Armstrong, the woman who has this ranch, said there was no alcohol involved, and Dick Cheney said he had one beer. So apparently, Dick Cheney can't keep his rifle, his story, or his daughter straight." -- Bill MaherNever criticize someone unless...
Never criticize someone unless you walk a mile in his or her shoes, and then when you criticize them you'll be a mile away and have their shoes!#joke #short
What do you call the study of ...
What do you call the study of torch-wielding midgets? Gas-throw-gnomy.#joke #short
What's round and bad tempered?
What's round and bad tempered? A vicious circle.#joke #short
Jon Dore: Smoking in High School
I started smoking in high school. I never thought Id get hooked. I always thought by the time I graduate, thats it, no more smoking. But now Im 33. Theres no way Im ever going to graduate.#joke #short
The Sklar Brothers: Aggressive Advertising
Jason Sklar: It was the most aggressive advertisement weve ever seen. It was a bus bench ad advertising bus bench ads. Randy Sklar: It was like the M.C. Escher of advertising
#joke #short
Donald Glover: New York University
NYUs like a Jurassic Five concert. Its like theres supposed to be black people there, but theyre not.#joke #short
What Would Jesus Drive?
Q: Did you know that they had automobiles in Jesus’ time?
A: Yes, the Bible says that the disciples were all of one Accord.
This joke was reprinted from "The Book of Catholic Jokes" by Deacon Tom Sheridan, with permission of ACTA Publications. Copyright 2008. All rights reserved.
#joke #short
The first manual transmission ...
The first manual transmission cars were make shift.#joke #short
Jon Dore: Old Garbage Pail
Have you ever tried to throw out an old garbage pail? Cant be done. For the last month, Ive had it out there every single week and the garbage men dont get it. I even put a sign on it, garbage. What do I got to do, put it in another garbage pail? No, not going to do that.#joke #short
