|
Short jokes - funny one liners (13401 to 13440)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 13401 to 13440. |
159 years for California
Do you know what was happening 159 years ago this fall... back in 1850?#joke #short
Railroad Drunks
Two Drunk Irishmen are walking down a set of railway tracks,First Irishman: "Jesus Christ Pat, I've never seen so many stairs"
Second Irishman: "Fuck that Mick, it's this low railing that's killing me"
#joke #short
Jack Bauer really enjoys a goo...
Jack Bauer really enjoys a good steak. When he is asked how he wants it prepared, Jack simply walks into the kitchen and takes a bite out of the cow. He then returns to his seat and dabs his face with the napkin. This is usually followed by a Snapple.The Back Pew
A pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the pastor's family expanded, so would his paycheck.#joke #short
E.T. is short for?
Question: What's E.T. short for?Answer: Because he has little legs!
#joke #short
Joke of the Day
Yo mama is so fat, she steps on a dollar and makes four quarters.#joke #short #yomama
Faith Elements
Q: Photons have mass?
A: I didn’t even know they were Catholic!
This joke was reprinted from "The Book of Catholic Jokes" by Deacon Tom Sheridan, with permission of ACTA Publications. Copyright 2008. All rights reserved.
#joke #short
Jolly Green Giant
Why did the Jolly Green Giant get kicked out of the garden? Because he took a pea!#joke #short
Now I Get It
I became confused when I heard the =word service"used with these agencies.#joke #short
Pillsbury Dough Boy
Q. What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?A. Doughnuts.
#joke #short
Q: What did 50 cent say to his...
Q: What did 50 cent say to his grandmother who gave him a sweater she had made him?A: G-U-NIT
#joke #short
Not Afraid
A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation was sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.#joke #short
Request Before Death
A murderer, sitting in the electric chair, was about to be executed.
"Have you any last requests? asked the chaplain.
"Yes," replied the murderer. "Will you hold my hand?"
#joke #short
Which bus...
A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman.
She looks the man up and down and says, I've got news for you. "You're going straight to hell!"
The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, "Shoot, I'm on the wrong bus!"
#joke #short
You don't need an epidural! Ju...
You don't need an epidural! Just relax and enjoy the moment.#joke #short
What do you say if som...
What do you say if someone tries to steal your gate?What hair color do they put on...
What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?#joke #short
Q: How do crazy people go through the ...
Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?A: They take the psycho path.
#joke #short
Discontinued Jelly Bean Flavors
1. Gangrene 2. New Car 3. Burn Victim 4. Dimetapp 5. Sand 6. Taxi 7. Grandma 8. WD-40 9. Substitute Teacher 10 Cigarette#joke #short
Discontinued Jelly Bean Flavors
1. Gangrene 2. New Car 3. Burn Victim 4. Dimetapp 5. Sand 6. Taxi 7. Grandma 8. WD-40 9. Substitute Teacher 10. Cigarette#joke #short
Man Talks to God
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."
#joke #short
Two Aliens
Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader.'#joke #short
"People always ask me, 'Were y...
"People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant."- Ellen Degeneres#joke #short
"Now they show you how deterge...
"Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash."--Jerry Seinfeld
#joke #short
New Chemical Warfare
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
#joke #short
Good Night Kiss
All Bill asked for was a little good-night kiss, but Anne haughtily rebuffed him with, "I don't do that sort of thing on my first date!"#joke #short
A Drink Problem
I have got a drink problem.....I've got two hands, but only one mouth.....
#joke #short
Your Butt Is So Big
Your butt is so big, you have more crack than a drug dealer.#joke #short
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Uruguay!
Uruguay who?
You go Uruguay and I'll go mine! #joke #short
Who's there?
Uruguay!
Uruguay who?
You go Uruguay and I'll go mine!
#joke #short
What do you call a man who mar...
What do you call a man who marries another man?A minister!
#joke #short
