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Short jokes - funny one liners (13481 to 13520)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 13481 to 13520. |
A man was telling his neighbor...
A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid.it cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art.
It's perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?'
'Twelve thirty,' came the reply.
#joke #short
Men and Women
NICKNAMES:#joke #short
Yo Mamma So Ugly
Yo mamma is so ugly, two rapist broke into her house.She screamed "RAPE!!!" They yelled "NO!!!" and ran out the door
#joke #short
What happened to the man who p...
What happened to the man who put his false teeth in backwards?He ate himself.
#joke #short
Knock Knock
WhoÂ’s there!<...
Knock KnockWhoÂ’s there!
Aardvark!
Aardvark who?
Aardvark a hundred miles for one of your smiles!
#joke #short
The 3 greatest lies
What are the three greatest lies?1. The check is in the mail.
2. Small is beautiful.
3. I won't come in your mouth.
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Curtis
#joke #short
Put More Stress Into Your Life!
1. Refuse to take action on nagging problems. Procrastinate, brood, and if possible, lose some sleep over them.#joke #short
A Morningside teacher was taki...
A Morningside teacher was taking a lesson about Belgium. Pointing to a town on the map, she said: "Ostend."When she turned round the whole class was on its feet.
#joke #short
What's black and white and hor...
What's black and white and horrible?A maths examination paper.
#joke #short
According to a recent governme...
According to a recent government publication...A billion seconds ago Harry Truman was president.
A billion minutes ago was just after the time of Christ.
A billion hours ago man had not yet walked on earth.
A billion dollars ago was late yesterday at the U.S. Treasury.
#joke #short
A Darkened Theater
A strained voice called out through the darkened theater, "Please, is there a doctor in the house?!"
Several men stood up as the lights came on.
An older lady pulled her daughter to stand next to her, "Good, are any of you doctors single and interested in a date with a nice, Jewish girl?"
$20
A little old lady is walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags rips, and every once in a while a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk.#joke #short
Kids
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, the minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his five-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin.#joke #short
TEACHER: Why are you late? <...
TEACHER: Why are you late?STUDENT: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
STUDENT: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
#joke #short
You work for the government if...
1. You work for an acronym, on an acronym, and your job title is an acronym.#joke #short
Q: Please send a list of all d...
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispenserattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All
Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make
good pets.
I went to the shop to look for...
I went to the shop to look for some camouflage trousers, but I couldn't find any.#joke #short
There once was a woman from Ee...
There once was a woman from Eeling,Who had a peculiar feeling.
She layed on her back,
And opened her crack
And pissed all over the ceiling!
#joke #short
Father Micheal
One Sunday morning, Father Micheal wakes up, looks at the azure sky and thinks to himself, Sod it! Think I will call in a sicky and go and play golf. He calls his Curate and tells him he feels terrible to have to cut out of his Sunday services, but he is really sick.Free of Charge
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, Bartender, how much do I owe you? The bartender replies, For you, neutron, no charge.#joke #short #walksintoabar
