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Short jokes - funny one liners (13601 to 13640)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 13601 to 13640. |
Beat the Casino
Q: What is the only way to keep your money from the casinos in Las Vegas?A: When you get off the plane, walk into the propellers.
#joke #short
Customer Complaints
A man boarded a plane with six kids. After they got settled in their seats, a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over and asked, "Are all of those kids yours?"#joke #short
Q: What does ...
Q: What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast?A: They're hiring!
#joke #short
A man visited a fortuneteller ...
A man visited a fortuneteller and sat down in front of her crystal ball. "I see you are the father of two children," she said."That's what you think," the man replied. "I'm the father of three children."
The fortuneteller smiled and said, "That's what you think."
Fifteen minutes into the fligh...
Fifteen minutes into the flight from New York to Phoenix, the captain announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left.”#joke #short
Yo momma so stupid she thought...
Yo momma so stupid she thought a quarterback was a refund.#joke #short
What did the traffic warden sa...
What did the traffic warden say to the librarian? You are booked.
#joke #short
"There was a huge acciden...
"There was a huge accident today. Apparently a bunch of Republican candidates trying to distance themselves from President Bush ran into a bunch of Democrat candidates trying to distance themselves from John Kerry. They just collided in the middle. It was gruesome."--Jay Leno
#joke #short
Q: Why do wom...
Q: Why do woman have boobs?A: So you have something to look at when they're talking to you.
#joke #short
A railway guard lost the pea i...
A railway guard lost the pea in his whistle, so he replaced it with a split-pea.When he blew his whistle again, only half the train moved off.
#joke #short
An employee goes to his boss a...
An employee goes to his boss and says, "I've been doing the work of three men for the last 5 years, I deserve a raise!"The boss replies, "I can't give you a raise, but if you tell me who the other two guys are I'll fire them."
#joke #short
CREATION
A man said t ...
CREATION A man said t o his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
#joke #short
Answering Machine Message 214
I'm only here in spirit at the moment, but if you'll leave your name and number, I will get back to you as soon as I'm here in person.
#joke #short
Insuring a Wooden Leg
A man and his wife, moved back home to North Carolina, from Texas. The wife had a wooden leg and to insure it in Texas Was $2000.00 a year!#joke #short
Q: Why wasn't...
Q: Why wasn't Jesus Christ born in Australia?A: Because they couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
#joke #short
Why should you never play game...
Why should you never play games in the jungle?Because there are too many cheetahs.
#joke #short
What did the pig say on a hot ...
What did the pig say on a hot summer's day?You Know You Live in San Franc...
You Know You Live in San Francisco When...You are thinking of taking an adult ed class - but you can't decide between a Yoga, Channeling or Building Your Web Site class.
#joke #short
Something Missing
When George Washington was crossing the Delaware River with his troops, there were 33 (remember this number) in Washington's boat.#joke #short
Q: What do a ...
Q: What do a mopeds and fat women have in common?A: They're both fun to ride until somebody sees you.
#joke #short
W O R D S
A husband read a...
W O R D S A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use
a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat
everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
#joke #short
A blonde goes into the drug st...
A blonde goes into the drug store to buy some rubbers. She walks up to the pharmacist and asks "How much for a box of rubbers?""They're $1 for a box of 3," he replied, "Plus 6 cents for the tax."
"Oh," said the blonde, "I wondered how they kept them on."
The Hat
An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tightly so that it would not blow off in the wind.#joke #short
Q: Did you he...
Q: Did you hear about the big fight that Madonna, Cher, Jewel and Fabio had?A: They're no longer on a first name basis.
#joke #short
Sexual Harassment
There are thousands of sex phone lines for men but only a few for women.This is because if a women wants someone to talk dirty to her she can just go to work.
#joke #short
Why didn't the skeleto...
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?Because he had no guts
#joke #short
Lying in bed with his wife, th...
Lying in bed with his wife, the farmer stroked her bare breasts and said, "Y'know, Maybelle, if these gave milk, we could sell the cow."Sighing, Maybelle lay her hand on her husband's crotch. "And if this stayed hard a little longer, we could fire the farmhand."
Five Jewish Men
Five Jewish men influenced the history of Western civilization.
Moses said the law is everything.
Jesus said love is everything.
Marx said capital is everything.
Freud said sex is everything.
Einstein said everything is relative.
#joke #short
Police Warning
Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties & local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink by any woman.#joke #short #policeman
Yo momma so short she poses fo...
Yo momma so short she poses for trophies.#joke #short
