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Short jokes - funny one liners (13761 to 13800)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 13761 to 13800. |
What kind of crisps can fly?
What kind of crisps can fly?
The Perfect Poem...
I have a spelling checker,It came with my PC;
It plainly marks four my revue,
Mistakes I cannot sea;
I've run this poem threw it,
I'm sure your please to no;
Its letter perfect in it's weigh,
My checker tolled me sew.
I've used up all my sick days,...
I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.Q: Why did yo...
Q: Why did your ex decide to take a bath?A: Because they wanted to be a Kleenex!
A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:
"Life isn't too short. It's the longest thing anyone will ever do."
Q: What's the...
Q: What's the difference between yo momma and the trash on the corner?A: The trash gets picked up.
Two Kinds of People
There are two kinds of people. Those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord," and those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning."
Divine Golf
Moses and Jesus were in a threesome playing golf one day. Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. The ball landed in the fairway, but rolled directly toward a water hazard. Quickly Moses raised his club, the water parted and it rolled to the other side, safe and sound.
IBM and Lightbulbs
How many IBM employees does it take to screw in a light bulb? 10,000: one to hold up the light bulb, and 9,999 to turn the building around."Dad, can you write in the dar...
"Dad, can you write in the dark?""I think so. What is it you want me to write?"
"Your name on this report card."
Puns, For the Educated Mind
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.Yo momma so poor even the Repu...
Yo momma so poor even the Republican Party is willing to put her on welfare.Why did the jazz musician like...
Why did the jazz musician like the wooden board?12 shots....
A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots, and starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"
The guy says, "You would be drinking fast, too, if you had what I had."
The bartender asks, "What do you have?"
The guy answers, "75 cents."
Q: What's the...
Q: What's the definition of a Florida gynecologist?A: A spreader of old wives' tails.
The Stormy Sea
As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was sinking fast. He called out, "Anyone here know how to pray?" One man stepped forward. "Aye, Captain, I know how to pray."
"Good," said the captain, "You pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets. We're one short."
Instructions
I got this e-mail today. It had a diferent title, but it may offend some, so I changed it.Two elderly gentlemen from a r...
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on abench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Jack,
I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains.
I know you're about my age. How do you feel?
Q: What is an...
Q: What is an Australian kiss like?A: It's just like a French kiss, but down under.
New secretary...
A guy walked into his friend's office, he found him sitting at his desk, looking very depressed.
"Hey, what's up with you?", he asks.
"Oh, its my wife," replied the man sadly. "She's hired a new secretary for me."
"Well, nothing wrong in that. Is she blonde or brunette?"
"Neither, He's bald."
Answering Machine Message 176
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