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Short jokes - funny one liners (13801 to 13840)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 13801 to 13840. |
Yo momma so fat she's got her ...
Yo momma so fat she's got her own zip code.#joke #short
Answering Machine Message 158
Leave a message or I'll send 30,000 volts through your phone. I am an electrical engineer. I can do that.
#joke #short
A Dell customer called to say ...
A Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.#joke #short
Fifteen minutes into the fligh...
Fifteen minutes into the flight from New York to Phoenix, the captain announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left.”#joke #short
Answering Machine Message 137
Hi, you've reached Meredith's room. I'm sorry I can't come to the phone right now, but my waveform has temporarily collapsed, so leave a message, and I'll call you when I've pulled myself together.
#joke #short
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the t...
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 P.M.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at t he time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
#joke #short
Q: How many b...
Q: How many body builders does it take to change a light bulb?A: Only one, but 10 of his friends are there to tell him how good he looks doing it.
#joke #short
yo mama so fat..
Yo mama so fat even god couldn't lift her spirit.#joke #short #yomama
Did you hear about the man who...
Did you hear about the man who lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?He's all right now.
#joke #short
Black and White
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life."
The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"
Pat and Mick landed themselves...
Pat and Mick landed themselves a job at a sawmill. Just before morning tea pat yelled: "Mick! I lost me finger!""Have you now?" says Mick. "And how did you do it?"
"I just touched this big spinning thing here like this...Damn! There goes another one!"
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance...
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
#joke #short
Cracking The Human Resource Code
"COMPETITIVE SALARY"#joke #short
Q: Why do men...
Q: Why do men like women in leather?A: Because they smell like a new car.
#joke #short
$8 Bill
A crook mistakenly made a counterfeit $8 bill instead of a $10 bill. He decided to try it out anyway.He went to the teller at the local bank and asked for change.
The teller looked at the $8 bill and gave the crook two $4 bills as change.
#joke #short
Why did the robber take a bath...
Why did the robber take a bath before he stole from the bank?He wanted to make a clean getaway.
#joke #short
ATTORNEY: How was your first...
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
#joke #short
Truck Stop
A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards."#joke #short
The First Stone
Jesus was standing on a hill talking to his people."He who hath not sinned, cast the first stone."
Just then a stone came flying from the back of the crowd and hit him hard on the head.
"Ouch, Dad! I hate when you do that!"
#joke #short
What is the difference between...
What is the difference between in-laws and outlaws?Outlaws are wanted.
#joke #short
At the exact same time there a...
At the exact same time there are two young men on opposite sides of the earth.One is walking a tight rope between two skyscrapers.
The other is receiving oral sex from a 98 year old woman.
They are both thinking to themselves the exact same thing.
What are they both thinking?
Don't look down!
#joke #short
ATTORNEY: She had three chi...
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS : Are you shittin' me? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
#joke #short
Logic
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.#joke #short
