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Short jokes - funny one liners (14681 to 14720)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 14681 to 14720. |
Santa's children
Why doesn't Santa have any kids?Because he only comes once a year.. and that's down a chimney.
I'm so ugly, when I tried to j...
I'm so ugly, when I tried to join an ugly contest they told me "Sorry, no professionals."An insurance agent's wife was ...
An insurance agent's wife was learning to drive when the brakes failed. "What should I do?" she cried. "Brace yourself, and try to hit something cheap."Birthday surprise...
Jane was surprised to receive ten dollars from her Aunt for her birthday. The Aunt asked how she was going to spend it.
"I'm taking it to Sunday School and giving it to God." the little girl replied.
"He'll be just as surprised as I was at not getting a dollar like usual."
Australian Medical Assoc...
Australian Medical Association researchers have made a remarkable discovery.
It seems that some patients needing blood transfusions may benefit from receiving chicken blood rather than human blood.
It tends to make the men cocky, and the women lay better.
What do you call a boomerang t...
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:
"If you were made in God's image, how did you get to be so ugly?"
Dreaming
Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger.What do men dream of?
Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman
on their 50th wedding annivers...
on their 50th wedding anniversary, the couple summed up the reason for their long and happy marriage.The husband said, "I have tried never to be selfish. After all, there is no "I" in the word 'marriage.'"
The wife said, "For my part, I have never corrected my husband's spelling."
Did you hear about the career-...
Did you hear about the career-conscious call girl? She was able to find a better-paying position.Where does Quasimodo keep his ...
Where does Quasimodo keep his pet rabbit?Rogaine and Viagra
What do you get when you mix Rogaine and Viagra?Hair that stands straight up on your head!
Did you hear about the Old Tes...
Did you hear about the Old Testament prostitute who got arrested? She was accused of trying to make a prophet.When I was married, my wife us...
When I was married, my wife used to call me handsome. As a matter of fact, we are now divorced but she STILL calls me handsome.Every time I have some money, she says, HANDSOME OVER.
Did you hear about the Egyptia...
Did you hear about the Egyptian funeral parlor? They promise "Satisfaction guaranteed, or your mummy back."Alamo
Why did the Mexicans fight so hard to capture the Alamo?So they could have four clean walls to write on.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci
How do you define "subdued"? T...
How do you define "subdued"? That's, like, a guy who, like, works on one of those, like, submarines, man!Did you hear about the guy who...
Did you hear about the guy who accidentally swallowed a spoon? He found that he couldn't stir.A Czech man goes to the optici...
A Czech man goes to the optician, who shows him a card with the letters "C Z W X N Q S T A C Z"."Read it?" the Czech replies, "I know the guy."
Quiet in church...
A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service,
"And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
Officially Selected Network Streamer!
At last; a cause that I can really support!
There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: ‘I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, *it's still out there in your pockets.'More Jokes
Did you hear about the idiot w...
Did you hear about the idiot who decided to take an IQ test? It came out negative.A three-year-old boy is ...
A three-year-old boy is in the bath examining his testicles, as three-year-old boys do.
With a serious look on his face he asks his mum,
"Mommy, are these my brains?"
With an equally serious and concerned look, his mother replies,
"No honey, but in time they will be"
There are two cowboys in a kit...
There are two cowboys in a kitchen, which is the real one?Max Thomas, Abbeyhill
If you have a joke you would like to share with us e-mail: letters_en@edinburghnews.com
"Cos it's strange, i...
"Cos it's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'Aaaaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you.But you do the same thing on an airplane, and everyone joins in.
A duck walks into a drugstore ...
A duck walks into a drugstore and says to the Pharmacist "gee, can you help me out. I need to buy some prophylactics but I forgot my wallet."The Pharmacist replies "no problem, I'll just put them on your bill."
The Duck responds "gee Doc, that is not the way I planned to use them!"
