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Short jokes - funny one liners (2201 to 2240)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 2201 to 2240. |
Which actress wobbled when she
Which actress wobbled when she walked? Lucille Ball.So Forgetful
Eve: "My dear Jack is so forgetful."
Celia: "I agree. At the party last night I had to keep reminding him that it's you that he's engaged to and not me."
The judge asked the defendant,
The judge asked the defendant, "Mr. Jones, do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?""I do."
"Now what do you say to defend yourself?"
"Your Honor, under those limitations ... nothing."
What Is A Committee?
What is a committee?
A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
I bought a driverless car, but
I bought a driverless car, but it drove itself off a cliff. What a lemming.When You Know Your Old
You know your old when you look at Santa Claus and think...
"Gosh, he looks so young!"
Class action case
There's a class action case against the government, over Sudafed.Does the Journal of Incont
Does the Journal of Incontinence Research utilize pee-er review?I Asked the Surgeon
I asked the surgeon if I could administer my own anesthetic.
He said, "Sure, knock yourself out!"
One Too Many
In other news, the seven dwarfs have been advised that they can only meet in groups of 6...
One of them isn’t Happy!
I love boat shopping. Especial
I love boat shopping. Especially when the sails are on.Hear that you can place bets i
Hear that you can place bets in Vegas about celebrity pregnancies? Just check the ovary/undies!Good Bookkeeper
"It takes Bill a day and a night to tell a story."
"He'd make a good bookkeeper, I should think."
"Why do you say that?"
"He's never short on his accounts."
NED: I
NED: I saw Benedict kneeling over.ED: Is he OK?
NED: Yeah he's just praying. Don't worry, everything's pope-ascetic.
I like joking. It makes me fee
I like joking. It makes me feel a tease.What Is Your Son's Name?
Al: When was your son born?
Sam: In March, he came the first of the month.
Al: Is that why you named him "Bill"?
Magician's assistants ar
Magician's assistants are highly sawed after.I Caught Six
It was enough to startle the little old lady out of her roots. There was the fish market person tossing trout clear across his shop to a man in fisherman uniform.
The fishermen caught six fish and then said: "All right Joe. Now I can truthfully tell my wife I caught six fish today."
The police raided an unlicense
The police raided an unlicensed daycare. It was an illegal grow-up.What do you like?
A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me my pretty face or my sexy body?"He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor."
Billy Idol tried to clean up h
Billy Idol tried to clean up his act, but then was accused of Mony laundering.Don't overburden a littl
Don't overburden a little person. If he carries too much weight he's liable to imp load.
A man walks over the Red Light
A man walks over the Red Light District in Amsterdam when suddenly he notices a fine looking hooker looking at him. He stops, bangs on the window and asks, "So, what does this cost?"The hooker replies, "25 dollars."
The man said, "Hmm, that's not a lot of money for insulated windows."
That Was A Threat
I think the girl at the Airlines check-in just threatened me.
She looked me dead in the eye and said, “Window or aisle?”
I laughed in her face and replied, “Window or you’ll what?”
NED: I have a knocker on my ho
NED: I have a knocker on my house door.ED: Really. You have a knocker.
NED: Does that impress you?
ED: Yes. You deserve the No Bell prize.
