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Short jokes - funny one liners (2241 to 2280)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 2241 to 2280. |
Dangerous Exercising
I exercised once, but found I was allergic to it.
My skin got flushed and my heart raced, I got sweaty and short of breath...
It's too dangerous.
Only when you are exposed to c
Only when you are exposed to cannon fire, will you be one with the holey fodder.Repentance
On her way back from the concession stand, Sandra asked the man at the end of the row, "Sir, did I step on your foot a minute ago?"
Expecting an apology the man said, "Indeed you did."
Sandra nodded, "Oh, good. Then this is my row."
My Wife's Birthday
It’s my wife’s birthday soon and she’s been leaving jewelry catalogs all over the house.
She'll be happy to know I got the hint.
I got her a magazine rack!
Many professional sculptors co
Many professional sculptors complain of extreme pain when listening to Clay Aiken.Difficulties translating the R
Difficulties translating the Rosetta Stone runed many archeologists' careers.Present Discussion
December is the month when the kids begin to discuss what to get Dad for Christmas.
Some insist on a shirt.
Others insist on a pair of socks.
The argument always ends in a tie.
Grammar 101
I’m giving up drinking until Christmas!
Sorry, bad punctuation.
I’m giving up, drinking until Christmas!
Coffee Shop
I walked into a coffee shop on Halloween to find the woman behind the counter with a bunch of sponges pinned to her uniform.
"I'm assuming this is a costume, but just what are you supposed to be?" I asked.
The waitress responded proudly, "I'm self-absorbed."
Clear the Kitchen Table
My wife asked me if I could clear the kitchen table.
I had to get a running start, but I made it!
Is Rob Ford an aristocrat or <
Is Rob Ford an aristocrat or a risk to crack?A Group Of Butts
A group of butts is walking. The smallest struggles to keep up.
“Sorry, I’m a little behind.”
Justin Timberlake's conc
Justin Timberlake's concerts feature everything but the kitsch ‘N Sync.If A Woman Says
If a woman says she'll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be...
There's no need to remind her every half hour.
The teacher asks Jim, "Jimmy,
The teacher asks Jim, "Jimmy, why aren't you writing?""I don't has a pencil."
"Jimmy, that's not a correct sentence. The correct way is: I don't have a pencil, he doesn't have a pencil, we don't have a pencil."
"Who stole all the pencils then?"
The Lab Assistant
So I was in the chemist lab and I said to the assistant, “What gets rid of germs?”
She said, "Ammonia cleaner."
I said, "Oh sorry, I thought you worked here...”
Puns about landmine mishaps ca
Puns about landmine mishaps can be classified as a leg gory.Asking Siri
I asked my phone, "Siri, why am I so bad with women?"
She said, "I'm Alexa you moron."
My risqué Ph.D philosophy the
My risqué Ph.D philosophy thesis, ‘The Metaphysics of Raw Sewage', was received with in crud duality.For which trendy grains have I
For which trendy grains have I cooled my enthusiasm? Quinoas.Shakespeare tried to get into
Shakespeare tried to get into acting school, but he was bard.I'm an investor in mashe
I'm an investor in mashed potatoes. I receive lump some payments.Fairy Tale Beginnings
How do you start a fairy tale in the modern era?
"If elected, I promise..."
What's the birthstone of
What's the birthstone of the chronically suicidal?It's A Valid Point
If con is the opposite of pro...
Does that mean Congress is the opposite of progress?
Fire Power
Them: "Why do you always carry a knife?"
Me: "The last time I tried to open a bag of chips with a 9mm, things didn’t go so well."
Look Out
I don’t always go the extra mile...
But when I do, it's because I missed my exit!
