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Short jokes - funny one liners (2241 to 2280)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 2241 to 2280. |
Just Checking In
Me (texting): Are we still on for today?
Reply Received: You don’t have to text me this every morning! As your boss, trust me when I say, WE ARE "ON" FOR WORK EVERYDAY, MON - FRI!
A Great Solution for Insomnia
"I'm suffering dreadfully from insomnia. I've tried all sorts of remedies, but I can find nothing that will send me to sleep."
"Why don't your try talking to yourself?"
Netflix: The
Netflix: The latest craze among fishermen.Hits It Every Time
At a local gun show two guys were bragging about their wife's abilities.
"My wife's a fine shot. She can hit a dollar every time."
"That's nothing. My wife goes through my trousers and never misses a dime."
What tree is thriving in this
What tree is thriving in this depressed economy? The weeping will owe.The Middle Name
What is the sole purpose of a middle name?
So a child can tell when they're really in trouble!
My friend has a crush on a gir
My friend has a crush on a girl named Ruth. I told him, “You want that Ruth? You can't handle that Ruth.”The pothole problem is getting
The pothole problem is getting crater and crater.A survey was conducted by aski
A survey was conducted by asking women of what they thought of their ass.85% of women said that they thought that their ass was too big.
10% of women said that they thought that their ass was too small.
5% of women said that they would marry him again.
Proof that Sar
Proof that Sarah Palin's child isn't developmentally delayed is that he can do math. In fact, Trig functions.A Gift
One man said to another, "I got my wife a lady's wristwatch."
"Did she like it?" the second man asked.
"Yes, but then the lady showed up and took it back."
If you sketched of all my wors
If you sketched of all my worst qualities, it would make quite a poor trait.I look up to milkmen. TheyR
I look up to milkmen. They're borne litres.Punctuality
A company owner was asked a question, "How do you motivate your employees to be so punctual?"
He smiled & replied, "It's simple. I have 30 employees and 29 free parking spaces. One is paid parking."
It's Sparta the job desc
It's Sparta the job description…Time for A Name Change
I'm changing my name to "Everyday"...
Because that's what the people I owe money to call me.
Can't Change Its Colors
What is it called when a chameleon can't change its colors anymore?
A reptile dysfunction.
Hear about the gay tourist in
Hear about the gay tourist in Egypt who was excited to see the sphincts?Big Ethical Dilemma
Upon seeing an elderly lady for the drafting of her will, the attorney charged her $100.
She gave him a $100 bill, not noticing that it was stuck to another $100 bill.
On seeing the two bills stuck together, the ethical question came to the attorney's mind: "Do I tell my partner?"
The man who hated fake politen
The man who hated fake politeness was so renowned, when he died they preserved him in formality hide.Convicted and fined
“Convicted and fined, he had no rights and nothing left so he decided to go straight.”
Entertain Guests
After dinner one evening a George W. Bush was entertaining their house guest by playing the piano.
At one point he turned to the visitor, a fat conservative talk show host, and said, "I understand you love music."
"Yes," murmured the guest politely. "But never you mind. Keep right on playing ..."
Chuck Norris
They once created a street called Chuck Norris but had to change it.
No one crosses Chuck Norris and lives!
Sprayed Deodorant
I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth.
Now when I talk, I have this weird axe scent.
Blind Date
"How was your blind date?" a college student asked her roommate.
"Terrible!" the roommate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce."
"Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?"
"He was the original owner!"
Pictures From Police
A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar.
A $40 speeding ticket was included.
Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40.
The police responded with another mailed photo -- of handcuffs.
Leave Me Alone
The Lee family has been really stressing me out!
Perhaps you know them...
Emotional Lee, Physical Lee, Mental Lee and let’s not forget Financial Lee!
