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Short jokes - funny one liners (2601 to 2640)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 2601 to 2640. |
Some philosophies have strict
Some philosophies have strict guidelines, but adlibertarians are free to make things up.Star Wars Characters
My son Luke loves that we named our children after Star Wars characters.
My daughter Chewbacca not so much.
Dictionary and thesaurus
“After he bought a dictionary and thesaurus his life became more meaningful.”
Pun season
“The time for submitted puns starting with the letter 'N' just expired. It's now 'O' pun season.”
Milkshake
Milkshake: nickname for a caucasian EmirWhat do you call a belt made out of hundred dollar bills?
What do you call a belt made out of hundred dollar bills?
A waist of money.
ED: Do you like this abstract
ED: Do you like this abstract painting?NED: No. Modern art makes me want to regurgiTate.
ED: Really?
NED: Yeah, it Turners my stomach.
ED: Oh my.
NED: If you'll excuse me – now I have to get up Van Gogh to the bathroom!
Can't Do Without It
Duct tape is like 'The Force'...
It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
Anyone with a mortgage
Anyone with a mortgage carries a stench of debt. It's a be owe problem.A Brazilian
I'm sitting in a cafeteria next to a woman who was engrossed in her newspaper. One of the headlines blared: "12 Brazilian Soldiers Killed."
She shook her head at the sad news. Then, turning to me, she asked, "How many is a Brazilian?"
Ancient Greeks
Oozing with mystery, the Ancient Greeks were Minoan for their seCrete societies.The Last King of Scotland was
The Last King of Scotland was also eweslurped.Steamroller accidents
Steamroller accidents can be quite ugly. Luckily I have always been the grader man. Different Kind of Easter
Just before Easter, I remarked to my husband that with the children grown and away from home, this was the first year that we hadn’t dyed eggs and had an Easter-egg hunt.
“That’s all right, honey,” he said. “We can just hide each other’s vitamin pills.”
What is it called, when backwa
What is it called, when backwards you sing? A: Yoda-lingSelf Isolation
Self isolation is getting so bad I’m starting to crush on my roommate...
And we’ve been married for more than 20 years.
If you
If you look at these digital photos of the wounded soldier up close, it looks like he was shot by a Canon.Two Mexican detectives were in
Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez."How was he killed?" asked one detective.
"With a golf gun," the other detective replied.
"A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?"
"I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."
I check for gonad cancer by fe
I check for gonad cancer by feeling my teste size.A woman goes into a butcher's...
A woman goes into a butcher's..."I'd like an oxtail please".
"Certainly", replies the butcher, "Once upon a time there was an ox..."
Hair stylists
“Hair stylists are truly a braid a part.”
Photo by Kaone Makoko on pexels.comTrigonometrist needed a cosiner
The trigonometrist needed a cosiner on his lease, because the terms were obtuse. He didn't want to get cotan a technicality. He checked for an expert with the best online radians.
My friend Isaacron
My friend Isaac has self-esteem issues. When he first told me his name, I had to tell him, ‘no, you don't'.“How would you descri
“How would you describe a dachshund standing on top of a sundial? Short on time.”
Finding Accountants
A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant.His friend asks, "Didn't your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?"
The businessman replies, "That's the accountant we're looking for."
The worst bag
I was waiting at the airport baggage carousel, and noticed that everyone else had a better bag than me.
It was… the worst case scenario.
Lucky Me
I've had bad luck with both my wives.
The first one left me...
The second one didn't!
Never get in a situp contest w
Never get in a situp contest with a guy named Abdul.Squirrel in a Hurricane
Where do Squirrels go during Hurricanes?
Pretty Much anywhere depending on how fast the wind is blowing
An enormously wealthy 65-year-old...
An enormously wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young woman in her twenties and is contemplating proposing. "Do you think she'd marry me if I tell her I'm 45?" he asked a friend.
"Your chances are better," said the friend, "if you tell her you're 90."
