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Short jokes - funny one liners (2681 to 2720)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 2681 to 2720. |
“I had a disagreement
“I had a disagreement with my dancing teacher at my first lesson. I said I had two left feet and she said too right.”
Are You Free Tonight?
A man is stunned when his hot, newly divorced neighbor knocks at his door. He answers eagerly and she asks him, "Are you free tonight?"
He blurts out, "Yes!"
She asks, "Great! Would you watch my kids?"
Salvador painted a psychedelic
Salvador painted a psychedelic image of an alpaca, decked out in religious garb. He proclaimed, ‘Everyone must worship the Dali llama!'Password Protected
Husband: “Call 911 quick, I think I’m having a heart attack!“
The wife picked up his cell phone to call. She said, “Give me your password!”
Husband: "Never mind, I’m feeling much better now."
When I fast I just hun
When I fast I just hunger down and do it.Scarecrows
Scarecrows don't frighten me nor do their empty threads.Answer the Easy Ones
Teacher: Little Johnny, if one and one make two, and two and two makes four, how much does four and four make?
Little Johnny: That isn’t fair, teacher. You answer the easy ones yourself and leave the hard ones for us.
Mucus puns? Don't even g
Mucus puns? Don't even goo there.“Last week, my mate a
“Last week, my mate asked me to pick his sister up from the ruler shop. I was centimeter.”
I have the Who's The
I have the Who's The Boss theme on my mobile: I gotta ringtone my celly.I don't like cheap pens.
I don't like cheap pens. I'm fauxbic.I regretted my sex change. The
I regretted my sex change. They're making a documentary about it: Scrotal Recall.Answering Machine Message 186
Hello, this is David. I don't live here, so if you were trying to call me, you've dialed the wrong number. On the other hand, if you were trying to call John, Jim, or Eric, please leave your name and number at the tone. I don't guarantee that one of them will call you back -- only that I won't.
Over 40
"Women over 40 are at their best, but men over 30 are too old to recognize it."Those who lose the Sou
Those who lose the Souper Bowl tend to hear lots of boouillons from the fans. But give credit to the Packers for ladling it on the line and showing a stiff upper lipton.It takes a certain typ
It takes a certain type to commit infonticide.The use of smoke in the papal
The use of smoke in the papal selection proves the Church has a sense of fumer.My sister is marrying an organ thief. She says she wants a man after her own heart, someone who can de-liver her from her troubles, and who'll take care of her two little kidneys after she's gone. #joke #short
If you're Vice-President
If you're Vice-President waiting to become President, then I guess Joe Biden your time.“I didn't use to car
“I didn't use to care much for most puns but over time some of them have groan on me.”
Mathematicians refuse to wear
Mathematicians refuse to wear g-strings. They don't have orthongonal values.Why should you just defecate i
Why should you just defecate in your hands if you really have to go?Russell Crowe Movie
“A cannibal once took my sister to see a Russell Crowe movie?”
“Gladiator?”
“No, I really miss her.”
“I was really enjoyin
“I was really enjoying stargazing when it started to cloud over, much to my constellation.”
