Short jokes - funny one liners (2721 to 2760)

“I was really enjoyin

“I was really enjoying stargazing when it started to cloud over, much to my constellation.”

The first chickens to use Twit

I want to askewron

Blood Type

A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank..
The rabbit says, "I think I might be a type-O!"

“Flamingos are a real

“Flamingos are a real success story. They always seem to get a leg up on the competition.”

How did Shakespeare earn an in

A used auto salesman, aka a A used auto salesman, aka a cardealogist.

#joke #short

Jewelry Salesman

A jeweler was on his way to work when he saw a sign that said “Watch for children”...
He thought to himself, “That sounds like a fair trade.”

“What do you call an

“What do you call an unsuccessful spinal surgery? A debackle.”

I hate going to Belgium. All t

A New Joke

Carl: I heard a new joke the other day. I wonder if I told it to you?
Lenny: Is it funny?
Carl: Yes.
Lenny: Then you didn’t.

 Chemistry Song 10

Universal Remote Control

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control.
I thought to myself... "Well this changes everything!"

A tall woman with a perky boso

The Flies

Tourist: "The flies are awfully thick around here. Don’t you ever shoo them?"
Native: "Nope, we just let them go barefoot."

“That arsonist destro

“That arsonist destroyed all my scissors. Shear torcher!”

For every level of grief, ther

When it comes to Facebook,

The Trained Scientist

First Mouse: I finally got that scientist trained.
Second Mouse: How so?
First Mouse: Every time I go through the maze and ring the bell, he gives me something to eat.

“Should we give arson

“Should we give arsonists a punishment to fit the crime, or would that just be adding fools to the fire?”

"If a man has a beautiful sten

What Does That Mean?

Teacher: Are you good in history?
Little Johnny: Yes and no.
Teacher: What does that mean?
Little Johnny: Yes, I’m no good in history.

“That butane lighter

“That butane lighter may be stubborn, but it's no match for me!”

A bunch of lawyers were sittin

When it comes to meat-eating,

First Aid Cat

Why did the cat want to join the Red Cross?
He wanted to be a first aid kit!

“Checking account mea

“Checking account means verifying testimony.”

I'm glad it's not

Ancestry

"My ancestry goes back all the way to Alexander the Great," said Christine. She then turned to Miriam and asked, "How far back does your family go?"
"I don't know," replied Miriam, "all of our records were lost in the flood."

“The mirror maker fel

“The mirror maker felt like it was time to retire from his work, he just couldn’t see himself doing it anymore.”

A Bird in the Pulpit

A friend of mine told her husband they had a Catholic bird in their yard.
"A what? How do you know it's a Catholic bird?"
"Because it's a Cardinal."

The inventor of any cow-measur

Jane Austen was a fan of onlin

After Dinner Speech

As the after dinner speaker gushed on and on, Deacon Miller nodded, and nodded until his head rested on the table cloth. The chairman reached over and bumped him lightly on the head with his gavel.
Deacon Miller: "Hit me harder, I can still hear him..."

Half His Friends

Him: "Since Mr. Wilson has lost his money, half his friends don't know him anymore."
Her: "And the other half?"
Him: "They don't know yet that he's lost his money."

“A bargain is a taver

“A bargain is a tavern's profit.”

A diner at a country inn is sh

Unfortunately, the latest rese

 Poem About Economics

“The rock climber was

“The rock climber was much boulder than his wife and decided to climb the world's tallest mountain. When asked what she was going to do with him gone so long, she responded, 'Alpine for his return and climb the walls with boredom.'”