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Short jokes - funny one liners (3321 to 3360)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 3321 to 3360. |
Best Deal Ever!
Used car salesperson to customer: How would you like to buy a car with zero down and zero per month?
Customer: (slight pause) For how many months?
Book out for men with short ...
A man goes into Waterstones and asked the young lady assistant:
"Do you have the new book out for men with short penises?"
"I'm not sure if it's in yet."
"That's the one, I'll take a copy."
She Called Him Average
My son’s math teacher called him average...
I just think he’s mean.
Vision and Sight
What's the difference between a vision and a sight?
When my wife gets dressed up for a party she looks like a vision and when she wakes up in the morning she's a sight!
Drone stuck in a tree
Getting my toy drone stuck in a tree hasn’t been the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
By Reddit User https://www.reddit.com/user/porichoygupto/
Stealing people’s electrons
I was arrested the other day for stealing people’s electrons.
I was heavily charged, despite my victims saying it was an overall positive experience.
Found on: badjokesbyjeff.tumblr.com
I'm A Talking Tree
Upon arrival, the lumberjack started to swing at the tree, when the tree suddenly shouted, “Wait! I’m a talking tree!”
The lumberjack grinned and said, “And you will dialogue!”
Boss to the new employee: We a
Boss to the new employee: We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?New employee: Yes, sir.
Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.
Ringing My Doorbell
My neighbor rang on my doorbell at 3 am... can you believe it!?
Luckily I was still up playing the drums.
Worth Of A Gas Cap
A man walked up to the counter of an auto-part store. "Excuse me," he said, "I'd like to get a new gas cap for my Yugo."
"Sure," the clerk replied. "Sounds like a fair exchange to me."
Get My Broker
Seeing his shares plummet on a black morning during the recession, the boss called to his secretary, “Get my broker, Miss Wilks!”
”Certainly, sir. Stock or pawn?”
Discussing Finances
A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, "If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money I wouldn't be here."
Scope of things
“When the hunter considered the scope of things he realized his life wasn't all that bad. He would just need to aim for higher things.”
Can’t stick with a diet?
Q: What do you call someone who can’t stick with a diet?
A: A desserter.
By reddit user JquaterReddit
Little Johnny Goes Fishing
Little Johnny's father took him on a fishing trip to Canada.
On returning home after catching only three fish his father says, "The way I figure it each fish cost us $400!"
Little Johnny replied, "Well, at that price it’s a good thing we didn’t catch any more of them than we did."
A very dirty little fellow cam
A very dirty little fellow came in from playing in the yard and asked his mother, "Who am I?"Ready to play the game she said, "I don't know! Who are you?"
"WOW!" cried the child. "Mrs. Johnson was right! She said I was so dirty, my own mother wouldn't recognize me!"
“I have been shopping
“I have been shopping for a trailer. Every time I think I have found a good one, there is a hitch.”
Why is the letter B so cool?
Why is the letter B so cool?
Because it’s sitting in the middle of the AC
This joke is around for a while in many versions, but this exact wording is by Reddit user DrumSpace
The results of your bold test
Doctor: “The results of your bold test have come in.”
“You mean blood test?”
“Hm, must be a Type-O.”
Author FinalCaveat user
Woodworking project
“I just can't seem to finish this woodworking project, but it's not for lacquer trying.”
Joke about spine
Did anyone see the joke I posted recently about my spine?
It was about a weak back.
Author:wtfover reddit userPhoto by Patricia Hildebrandt from Pexels
A repeat offender was brought
A repeat offender was brought before the judge, who said, "Haven't I seen you in here several times before? And didn't I tell you I never wanted to see you in here again?"The offender replied, "Yes, Your Honor, that's exactly what I told the officer, but he insisted I come anyway!"
“What are aging Werew
“What are aging Werewolf barbers most afraid of? Silver mullets.”
My Wife Is Mad
My wife is mad at me, says I have no sense of direction.
So I packed all my bags and right!
Twins Girls
My friend Jay had twin girls recently and he wanted to name them after him...
So I suggested Kaye and Elle.
