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Short jokes - funny one liners (3361 to 3400)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 3361 to 3400. |
When I found out my toaster wasn't water proof...
When I found out my toaster wasn't water proof...
I WAS SHOCKED!
Author:Wonderland6914A Week Off
“Boss can I have a week off around Christmas?”
“It’s May...”
“Sorry. May I have a week off around Christmas?”
“I did not know how t
“I did not know how to use the wood-smoothing tool, so had the woodworker explain it to me in plane language.”
Complaining about price of cinema food
If I had a dollar every time a customer complained about the price of cinema food.
I could almost afford a small popcorn.
Author:EdgarWronged on reddit
The Engineering Pilot
Why did the Engineering grad became a pilot?
In order to "land" himself a job!
“My friend whose visi
“My friend whose vision is deteriorating has a blind faith in his ophthalmologist.”
I can't believe I made it any
I can't believe I made it anywhere creatively, though, because I was raised by two loving and supportive parents. Nothing squashes creativity more than unconditional love and support from a functional household. If you have kids, sh*t on their dreams a little bit.Twin In Prison
So my twin brother called me from prison
He said, "So you know how we finish each others' sentences?"
Author:TheJenkinsComic reddit user
Two Windmills
Two windmills are in a field. One asks, "What kind of music do you like?"
The other one says, "Well, I’m a big metal fan."
“A magician got so an
“A magician got so angry that he hit the man in the juggler and then pulled his hare out.”
“The company's perfo
“The company's performance was so abysmal that it quickly became the joke of Wall Street: a laughing-stock.”
A customer visits a computer s
A customer visits a computer store. "I'm looking for a mystery Adventure Game with lots of graphics. You know, something really challenging," he says."Well," replies the shop assistant, "Have you tried Windows 10?"
Two men met each other on the
Two men met each other on the beach at Majorca. One looked at the other and asked, "Are you brown from the sun?""No," replied the other, "I'm Smith from The Times."
Zero in Math
Dad was angry when he saw that his son scored a zero in math.
"Son, can you explain this to me?"
"Well dad, the teacher didn't have any stars left to give me, so she gave me a moon!"
A new receptionist started wor
A new receptionist started work in a psychiatrist's office, but at the end of her first day he felt he had to have a quietword with her."Your general approach is fine," he said, "but try saying 'We're very busy' rather than 'It's a madhouse.'"
“When the Human Torch
“When the Human Torch lost his superpowers, he was certainly put out.”
Why I spoke so softly in the house?
My wife asked why I spoke so softly in the house.I said I was afraid Mark Zuckerberg was listening!
She laughed.
I laughed.
Alexa laughed. Siri laughed.
Author SandipGarg.
NOTE:Many sharing this joke, but SandipGarg's tweet is the oldest post I found.
There was this man who muttere
There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married.A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.
Take Your Kid To Work Day
An 8 year old girl went to the office with her father on 'Take your kid to work Day'.
As they walked round the office she started crying and getting cranky.
Her father asked what was wrong.
As the staff gathered round she sobbed loudly, "Daddy, where are all the clowns you said you worked with?"
Husband: "What are you doing?"
Husband: "What are you doing?"Wife: "Nothing."
Husband: "Nothing? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."
Wife: "I was looking for the expiration date."
“Many people describe
“Many people described Joe as being full of wisdom. But that word is a dichotomy. So is Joe really a whiz or is he really dumb?”
Fell In Love
I once fell in love with a girl who only knew 4 vowels...
She didn’t know I existed.
I Am Not the Only One
Teacher: "You are the only one in the entire class who makes so many mistakes in the homework assignment."
Student: "That is not true, I am not the only one. My parents are involved in this as well!"
