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Short jokes - funny one liners (3881 to 3920)

Short jokes - funny one liners (3881 to 3920)

Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 3881 to 3920.

“The neurologist want

“The neurologist wanted to propose to his girl friend, but he just didn't have the nerve.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

Doctor to a blonde patient: Do

Doctor to a blonde patient: Don't breathe.

Patient: Why doctor? Did you fart?
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 5.83/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (12)

SLIDESHOW #176 - Funny Photo Slideshow

“A usurer takes lots

“A usurer takes lots of interest in his work.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 4.14/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (7)

A husband and wife, vacationin

A husband and wife, vacationing in Rome, were being shown through the Colosseum.
"Now, this room," said the guide, "is where the slaves dressed to fight the lions."
"But how does one dress to fight lions?" inquired the husband.
"Very slow-w-w-w-w-w-ly," replied the guide.
#joke #short #animal #lion
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

“The electrician swit

“The electrician switched careers to become a tailor because he knew how to fix shorts.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

Changed my Facebook name to 'No one'

Just changed my Facebook name to 'No one', so when I see stupid posts I can click like and it will say 'No one likes this'.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 8.08/10

Rating: 8.1/10 (12)

“Asked what time we c

“Asked what time we could bring our cat, the vet said fur thirty!”

Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 2.63/10

Rating: 2.6/10 (8)

“Getting the knights

“Getting the knights ready for battle went down to the squire.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (4)

Real Church Signs

Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church. If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns. If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again. Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

“Paratroopers pull st

“Paratroopers pull strings to stay on the job.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (4)

At a naval barracks the enlist

At a naval barracks the enlisted men were being given their shots prior to going overseas. One lad, having received his series of injections, asked for a glass of water.
"What's the matter, mate?" asked the sick-bay attendant. "Not feeling well?"
"No, just checking to see if I'm still watertight."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 5.40/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (5)

“I went to a budget r

“I went to a budget restaurant to dine and when I returned there was a parking ticket stuck on the windshield. Well, that was fine dining!”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (10)

“A painter's masterp

“A painter's masterpiece is his claim to frame.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

“A surgeon's income

“A surgeon's income is severance pay.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 2.00/10

Rating: 2.0/10 (4)

“The best mathematici

“The best mathematicians amongst the snake family: the adders.”

#joke #short #animal #snake
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (4)

“I have a friend who

“I have a friend who owns a delivery service, is business picking up or dropping off?”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 4.88/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (8)

Give a man a fish and he will

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 7.20/10

Rating: 7.2/10 (5)

Answering Machine Message 181

(From a distance:) Hello I'm far very away from the phone at the moment and can't get to it to take your message, but I'll get back to you as soon as I get nearer to the phone!
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (5)

So many people buy t...

“So many people buy their groceries at the market on the corner that it seems to have a corner on the market.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.40/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (5)

Moving Testimony

The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow." The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say, 'Look! He's moving!'"
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 5.40/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (5)

Some say I eat so mu...

“Some say I eat so much fruit that I must be going bananas, while others think I'm already plum crazy. I respond to those people by giving them the raspberry.”

#joke #short #fruit #banana #raspberry
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 8.60/10

Rating: 8.6/10 (10)

What's your job?

Me: What's your job?
Him: I'm an assassin.
Me: Good pay?
Him: I make a killing!
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 7.09/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (11)

The recent developme...

“The recent development of synthetic meat is silly - why reinvent the veal?”

#joke #short #food #meat
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 6.17/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (6)

A food fight is roll...

“A food fight is roll playing.”

#joke #short #food
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 1.50/10

Rating: 1.5/10 (8)

I just finished building a car using...

I just finished building a car using a motor from a washing machine. I'm going to take it for a spin later.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 7.33/10

Rating: 7.3/10 (12)

A new neigbour arrives. The ki...

A new neigbour arrives. The kids meet.
The local kid: "My mom was born in California! Where was your mom born?"
The other kid answers, "Alaska".
The first one replies, "Gee, then don't worry about it... I'll ask 'er myself!"
#joke #short #mother #mom
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 5.44/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (9)

 Knock Knock Collection 098


Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ivor!
Ivor who?
Ivor good mind not to tell you now!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ivory!
Ivory who?
Ivory strong like Tarzan!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Izzy!
Izzy who?
Izzy come, Izzy go!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Jack!
Jack who?
Jackdraft!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Jagger!
Jagger who!
Jagger'd edge!

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 3.17/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (6)

Shhhh!

A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 7.91/10

Rating: 7.9/10 (11)

I got into a fight w...

“I got into a fight with a snail. It was a real slug-fest.”

#joke #short #animal #snail
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 7.13/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (8)

Sara: Gee, you smell good. Wha...

Sara: Gee, you smell good. What have you got on?
Dave: Clean socks.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (4)

My Super Ex-Wife

My ex-wife and I could not reconcile our marriage because of religious differences.She thought she was God.I disagreed.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 6.17/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (6)

A head-hunter is a s...

“A head-hunter is a safari leader.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (5)

 Answering Machine Message 11


Computer style monotone: Hello, I am the XS486 Mark Five answering machine. I am equipped with the new Pentium processor to assure that nothing can go wrong... Gowrong... Grong.. Grong gronggronggrongBEEP

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

“The animal hairstyli

“The animal hairstylist at the zoo has become a mane attraction.”

Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

 Supermarket

The man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
"Why?" she asks.
"Because every time I talk to a a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 8.08/10

Rating: 8.1/10 (12)

“Provision means to f

“Provision means to favor sight.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

A real estate agent was showin

A real estate agent was showing a woman through a beautiful room at the top of a large hotel.
"Now in this wing we have the master bedroom, bath and den."
The woman interrupted suspiciously, "And den what?"
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

“What do you call a c

“What do you call a church piano business? An organization!”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

Texting for Seniors

IMPORTANT – in today’s social media driven world, those of us over 60 need to learn the new CTSFOF’s “Common Text Symbols for Old Farts) Teens have their texting codes (LOL, OMG, TTYL, etc.).
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Friars Club - For over 25 years the Sunshine Committee has been providing entertainment, companionship and love to children's and senior citizens centers in the NY area.
  • Currently 4.14/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (7)

A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:

"God please grant me chastity, but not just yet."- St. Augustine
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 2.83/10

Rating: 2.8/10 (12)

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