The best jokes (15061 to 15075)The best jokes rated by site visitors. Top rated jokes. These are the best jokes rated 15061 to 15075. NOTE jokes sometimes might seem not to be in order. Due to better performance joke top list is refreshed only once daily. |
Three Questions
The cop asked, "Whose car is this? Where are you headed? What do you do?"
The miner replied, "Mine."
Punning in Japanese requires l
Punning in Japanese requires lifelong dedication. It helps to have a good sensei humour.Stop Ringing My Phone
Whoever lost their iPhone outside the bar...
Please stop ringing my new phone!
Come On Mister
A naked man runs into a tailor's shop.
The tailor says, "You can't be in here with no clothes on!"
The man says, "Come on mister, cut me some slacks?"
Only a Half Wit
Joe: "I've heard about your wit."
Moe: "Oh, that's nothing."
Joe: "Yeah, that's what I've heard."
We Need A Doctor
A girl was walking on the side walk. She sees a man lying on the street, needing immediate help. The victim says that he is having a heart attack. The girl asks people around the street. And a man approached.
Girl: Help, are you a doctor?
Man: I am a doctor. What’s going on?
Girl: A Heart Attack!
Man: I am doctor in mathematics.
Girl: He is going to die.
Man: Prove it!
Humor About The Elderly
OLD BASKETBALL players never die, they just go on dribbling
OLD BEEKEEPERS never die, they just buzz off
OLD BIKERS never die, but they're hard on tires
OLD BIOLOGISTS never die, they just ferment away
OLD BLONDES never fade, they just dye away
OLD BOOKKEEPERS never die, they just lose their figures
OLD BOOKS never die, they just go out-of-print
OLD BOWLERS never die, they just end up in the gutter
OLD BRAKES never die, they just grind down
OLD BRIDGE PLAYERS never die, they just lose their finesse
OLD BRIDGE PLAYERS never die, they just sit around on their fat aces
OLD BUDGETS never die, they are fillibustered
OLD BUREAUCRATS never die, they just waste away
OLD BURGLARS never die, they just steal away
OLD BUSINESSES never die, they just get consolidated
My car is so fast the payments...
My car is so fast the payments are three months behind.Gourmet Reporter
A magazine reporter is traveling through a rainforest, in search of a fabled cannibalistic tribe. He falls into a trap, goes unconscious and wakes up tied to a stake with a fire burning slowly underneath him.He cries out for help, and is answered by what is obviously one of the tribesmen, who informs him that he is going to be served as dinner to the leader of the tribe.
"But you don''t understand!" he cries, "You can''t do this to me! I''m an editor for the New Yorker magazine!"
"Ah," replies the tribesman, "Well look on the bright side. Soon you will be editor-in-chief!"
Dave Nystrom: Drunk in the Middle of the Day
Have you ever been drunk in the middle of the day? And I dont mean a couple of cocktails with lunch -- I mean like severely messed up. Its weird because you cant even properly relate to people anymore. I was like, What do you mean I cant get an Egg McMuffin? What -- because its after 11? Thats ridiculous. Hes like, No, sir, because this is a bank.Two aliens landed in the...
Two aliens landed in the Little Desert near an abandoned petrol station.
They approached the petrol pumps and one of them said to it " Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader".
The petrol pump of course did not respond. The alien repeated the greeting and there was still no response. Annoyed by what he perceived as the petrol pump's haughty attitude the alien drew his ray gun and said impatiently, "Greetings Earthling, we come in peace. How dare you ignore us this way?
Take us to your leader or I will fire."
The other alien shouted to his companion, "No, you must not anger him....", but before he could finish his warning the first alien fired.
There was a huge explosion that blew both of them 200 metres into the desert where they landed in a heap.
When they finally regained consciousness the one who fired turned to the other one and said "What a ferocious creature. It nearly killed us. How did you know it was so dangerous?"
The other alien answered, "If there is one thing I have learned in my travel around the galaxy it's if a guy has a penis he can wrap around himself twice and then stick in his own ear, you don't screw around with him."
