The best jokes (15616 to 15630)The best jokes rated by site visitors. Top rated jokes. These are the best jokes rated 15616 to 15630. NOTE jokes sometimes might seem not to be in order. Due to better performance joke top list is refreshed only once daily. |
Chemistry Song 04
Silent Labs
Silent labs, difficult labs
All with math, all with graphs
Observations of colors and smells
Calculations and graph curves like bells
Memories of tests that have past
Oh, how long will chemistry last?
Silent labs, difficult labs
All with math, all with graphs
Lots of equations that need balancing
Gas pressure problems that make my head ring
Santa Chlorine's on his way
Oh, Please Santa bring me an 'A'.
Star power...
Steven Spielberg was discussing his new project -- an action docudrama about famous composers starring top movie stars. Sylvester Stallone, Steven Seagal, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwarzenegger being courted for the top roles.
Spielberg really hoped to have the box office "oomph" of these superstars, so he was prepared to allow them to select the composers they would portray, as long as they among the most famous.
"Well," started Stallone, "I've always admired Mozart. I would love to play him."
"Chopin has always been my favorite, and my image would improve if people saw me playing the piano," said Willis. "I'll play him."
"I've always been partial to Strauss and his waltzes," said Seagal. "I'd like to play him."
Spielberg was very pleased with these choices. "Sounds splendid." Then, looking at Schwarzenegger, he asked, "Who do you want to be, Arnold?"
Arnold replied, "I'll be Bach."
Can't touch this
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.The phrase "dead ringer" refer...
The phrase "dead ringer" refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.Chuck Norris knows where Carme...
Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is.Internet can get worse
Top ten ways the Internet could get worse
10. Rigorous user screening process abolished by America On-Line.
9. "MAKE MONEY FAST" posts protected by 1st amendment, declare internet lawyers Canter & Siegel.
8. Home shopping "network".
7. Netrek corporate sponsorships. Out: Orion, Pollux, Klingus. In: Planet Bud, Toyota Prime, Intelworld.
6. Sun internet servers replaced with pentiums.
5. Dan Quayle appointed head of "bandwidth expansion tiger team".
4. Free netcom account with purchase of big mac.
3. Gameboy web browsers.
2. Tipper Gore cancelbot unleashed onto the net.
AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY THE INTERNET CAN GET WORSE:
1. Two words: "Microsoft Network"
Google won't search for Chuck ...
Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.Blonde - Tracks
Three Blonds are walking down the street when they see sometracks. The first one said "I think they are dog tracks", The
second one said "I think they are cow tracks". The third one
said "I think they are Dodo bird tracks". What happened next?
They all got hit by a train!
Chuck Norris doesn't mow his l...
Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he dares his grass to grow.D.L. Hughley: Police Following You
You ever have the police follow you so long, you get suspicious of your damn self? Maybe I did kill them people. Im a go ahead and turn myself in. Chuck Norris can judge a book ...
Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.Fight To Win A Case
A junior partner in a law firm was sent to a far away country to represent a long-term client accused of robbery. After days of trial, the case was won, the client acquitted and released.Excited about his success, the attorney e-mailed the firm: âJustice prevailed.â
The senior partner replied in haste, âAppeal immediately.â
When Jesus Was Born
Saints Dominic, Francis of Assisi, and Ignatius of Loyola are transported back in time and place to the birth of Our Lord.St. Dominic, seeing the Incarnation of the Word, is sent into ecstasy.St. Francis, seeing God become a helpless child, is overcome with humility.St. Ignatius of Loyola takes Mary and Joseph aside and asks, “Have you given any thought to his education?”A guy is standing on the corne
A guy is standing on the corner of the street smoking one cigarette after another.A lady walking by notices him and says, "Hey, don't you know that those things can kill you? I mean, didn't you see the giant warning on the box?!"
"That's OK," says the guy, puffing casually, "I'm a computer programmer".
"So? What's that got to do with anything?"
"We don't care about warnings. We only care about errors."
