Join us on
WhatsApp
Join us on
Telegram
Join us on
Viber

The best jokes (15721 to 15735)

The best jokes rated by site visitors. Top rated jokes. These are the best jokes rated 15721 to 15735. NOTE jokes sometimes might seem not to be in order. Due to better performance joke top list is refreshed only once daily.

Business One-liners 51


Anthony's Law of Force: Don't force it, get a larger hammer.
Anthony's Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner or the workshop. Corollary: On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first always strike your toes.
Baker's Law: Misery no longer loves company, Nowadays it insists on it. - Columnist Russell Baker
Banacek's Eighteenth Polish Proverb: The hippo has no sting, but the wise man would rather be sat upon by the bee.
Barker's Proof: Proofreading is more effective after publication.
Becker's Law: It is much harder to find a job than to keep one. - Jules Becker & Co. (Becker goes on to claim that his law permeates industry as well as government, "...once a person has been hired inertia sets in, and the employer would rather settle for the current employee's incompetence and idiosyncrasies than look for a new employee.")
Belle's Constant: The ratio of time involved in work to time available for work is about 0.6. - from a 1977 JIR article of the same title by Daniel McIvor and Olsen Belle, in which it is observed that knowledge of this constant is most useful in planning long-range projects. It is based on such things as an analysis of an eight hour workday in which only 4.8 hours are actually spent working (or 0.6 of the time available), with the rest being spent on coffee breaks, bathroom visits, resting, walking, fiddling around, and trying to determine what to do next.
Bennett's Laws of Horticulture: (1) Houses are for people to live in. (2) Gardens are for plants to live in. (3) There is no such thing as a houseplant.
Berkeley's Laws: (1) The world is more complicated than most of our theories make it out to be. (2) Ignorance is no excuse. (3) Never decide to buy something while listening to the salesman. (4) Most problems have either many answers or no answer. Only a few problems have a single answer. (5) Most general statements are false, including this one. (6) An exception - test a rule; it never proves it. (7) The moment you have worked out an answer, start checking it; it probably isn't right. (8) If there is an opportunity to make a mistake, sooner or later the mistake will be made. (9) Check the answer you have worked out once more - before you tell anybody. - Edmund C. Berkeley

#joke #animal #bee #drinks #coffee
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (10)

Fred had tried to be particula...

Fred had tried to be particularly careful about his language as he played golf with his preacher. But on the twelfth hole, when he twice failed to hit out of a sand trap, he lost his resolve and let fly with a string of expletives.

The preacher felt obliged to respond. "I have observed," said he in a calm voice, "that the best golfers do not use foul language."

"I guess not", said Fred, "what the hell do they have to cuss about?"
#joke #sport #golf #golfer
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Used to be Joke rating machine, but this site is dead
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (10)

After the baby was baptized, h...

After the baby was baptized, her four-year-old brother was crying inconsolably in the back seat of the car.

"What's the matter Johnny?" asked his concerned mother.

Johnny replied: "that man said that he hoped our baby would be raised in a good Christian home... I just want her to stay with you guys."

#joke #mother
Joke | Source: MHINTZ0929's Blog - New funny joke each day
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (10)

Despite his towering intellect...

Despite his towering intellect, Plato was a promiscuous womanizer, who inspired generations of feel lotsa furs.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (10)

Really funny jokes-Eternal suffering

Jerry dies in a car accident and goes straight to hell to suffer eternally at the hands of the devil. As he passes deadly pits and screaming sinners, he saw a man getting cozy with a beautiful lady. He recognized the man - he was a cunning lawyer who had died a couple of years ago.
"This is not fair!" Jerry exclaims. "I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer is having fun with a beautiful woman."
"Be quiet!" barked the devil, jabbing him with his pitchfork. "Who are you to question that woman's punishment?"
#joke #lawyer
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (10)

Really funny jokes-You might be an E.R. Doctor if

You Might Be an E.R. Doctor if...
* your favorite hallucinogen is exhaustion.
* discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you.
* you think that caffeine should be available in IV form.
* you get an almost irresistible urge to stand and wolf your food even in the nicest restaurants.
* you believe the waiting room should be equipped with a Valium fountain.
* you say to yourself "great veins" when looking at complete strangers.
* you believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy it is quiet around here."
* you have ever referred to someone's death as a transfer to the "Eternal Care Unit".
* you have ever had a patient say, "But I'm not pregnant, I can't be pregnant. How can I be having a baby?"
* you have ever had a patient look you straight in the eye and say "I have no idea how that got stuck in there".
* your most common assessment question is "what changed tonight to make it an emergency after 6 (hours, days, weeks, months, years)?"
#joke #doctor #animal #wolf #food #meal
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (10)

The new CEO...

Morris had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech corporation. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three envelopes number 1, 2 and 3. "Open these if you run up against a problem you don't think you can solve," the departing CEO said.

Things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later, sales took a downturn and Morris was really catching a lot of heat. About at his wit's end, he remembered the envelopes. He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope. The message read, "Blame your predecessor." Morris called a press conference and tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous CEO. Satisfied with his comments, the press, and Wall Street, responded positively, sales began to pick up and the problem was soon behind him.

About a year later, the company was again experiencing a slight dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. Having learned from his previous experience, the CEO quickly opened the second envelope. The message read, "Reorganize." This he did, and the company quickly rebounded.

After several consecutive profitable quarters, the company once again fell on difficult times. Morris went to his office, closed the door and opened the third envelope. The message said, "Prepare three envelopes."

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (10)

Flintstones Restricted

The people of Dubai don't get to watch the Flintstones

Meet the Flinstones

But the people of Abu Dhabi Do

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Originally taken from site that work no more - Get Frank - NZ's Online Men's Lifestyle Magazine for Fashion, Health, Lifestyle, Recreation Articles & Reviews, Funny jokes and photos updated daily
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (10)

Good jokes-Keep on fighting!

The following conversation took place in the morning drill of the US Army:
Sergeant Thomas: When you are frightened, what do you do?
Private Joe: Keep on fighting!
Sergeant Thomas: You better. And if the enemy shoots off your right ear, what do you do?
Private Joe: Keep on fighting!
Sergeant Thomas: Good. But if the enemy also shoots off your left ear, what then?
Private Joe: Then I can't see.
Sergeant Thomas: Can't see? Where did you get your education, private?
Private Joe: Well sergeant, if both my ears are gone my helmet falls down...over my eyes.
#joke
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (10)

My Dad Is Better Than Your Dad

Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers.
The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50."
The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."
The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon... and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"

#joke #father
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (10)

Chuck Norris will be the star ...

Chuck Norris will be the star lead in the remake of the movie "300" it will now be called "1"
Joke | Source: Daily Chuck - Daily Chuck Norris Fact
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (10)

Cross the Road... Forgetful Chicken

Q: Why did the forgetful chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the other side -- er, no -- to go shopping -- no, not that either -- damn it.

#joke #short #animal #chicken
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (10)

“The baseball pitcher...

“The baseball pitcher's personality needed some polish. He was a diamond in the rough.”

#joke #short #sport #baseball
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (10)

Frog Crossing Road

Why did the frog cross the road?

It didn't. It got ran over halfway across.

#joke #short #animal #frog
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (10)

Baking Blondes

One day 2 blondes walked into a tanning salon. One blonde said, " A tan for 2 please!"

The cashier said, " Ok," filled out a form for them and asked, "are you two sisters?"

They chuckled and replied, " No, we aren't even Catholic."

Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (10)

Jokes Archive

<>April 2025
SunMonTueWedThuFriSat
  12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930   
NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.