The best jokes (16951 to 16965)The best jokes rated by site visitors. Top rated jokes. These are the best jokes rated 16951 to 16965. NOTE jokes sometimes might seem not to be in order. Due to better performance joke top list is refreshed only once daily. |
Chuck Norris' favourite cut of...
Chuck Norris' favourite cut of meat is the roundhouse.Mommy Mommy 13
Mommy, Mommy! I like my brother very much.
All right, you can take another slice.
Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to empty the compost heap.
Shut up and keep eating.
Mommy, Mommy! I don't like fishing.
Shut up and stop squirming.
Mommy, Mommy! Suzi got run over by a steamroller.
Shut up. I'm in the bathroom, slide her under the door.
[Alt answer] Shut up and get the maple syrup.
"Come upstairs, son, like a good boy."
"No, Mommy, you'll only throw me down again."
Chuck Norris has already been ...
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars. That's why there are no signs of life there.If paper beats rock, rock beat...
If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Chuck Norris.Chuck Norris is the reason why...
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.How much wood would a woodchuc...
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.Count from one to ten. That's ...
Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you...47 times.Chuck Norris hears sign langua...
Chuck Norris hears sign language.If you were somehow able to la...
If you were somehow able to land a punch on Chuck Norris your entire arm would shatter upon impact. This is only in theory, since, come on, who in their right mind would try this?Chuck Norris does not use spel...
Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.Grandma Jones...
Grandma Jones from the valley had never experienced a sick day in her life, so she didn't take it kindly when a bad case of the mulligrubs sent her to the hospital for observation.
By the time a pair of husky interns got Grandma tucked into bed, she had managed to complain about everything: the temperature, the lights, the skimpy gown, the food and the mattress - especially, the mattress.
Suddenly, Grandma spotted a small plastic item with a button, attached to a cord.
"What's that?" she demanded with great suspicion, suspecting it might be one of those high tech items the city folks talked about.
"If you need anything in the middle of the night, Grandma," said one of the interns, "just press that button."
"What does it do, ring a bell?" she asked.
"No, it turns on a light in the hall for the nurse on duty," the intern replied.
"A light in the hall?" responded Grandma. "Look, I'm the sick one around here. If the night nurse needs a light on in the hall, she can get up and switch it on herself."
“Do you know why exec
“Do you know why executioners never take on apprentices? They always get a head of themselves.”
Ant Jokes 02
What do you call an ant who lives with your great uncle?
Your great-ant!
Who was the most famous ant scientist?
Albert Antstein!
What games to ants play with elephants?
Squash!
What do you call a 100 year old ant?
An antique!
What kind of ant can you colour with?
A crayant!
Who is the most famous French ant?
Napoleant!
Why did the ant-elope?
Nobody gnu!
What is the biggest ant in the world?
An elephant!
Why don't anteaters get sick?
Because they are full of antibodies!
What do you call an ant who likes to be alone?
An independant!
Solving A Dispute
Two little squirrels were walking along in the forest. The first one spied a nut and cried out, "Oh, look! A nut!" The second squirrel jumped on it and said, "Itâs my nut!"The first squirrel said, "Thatâs not fair! I saw it first!"
"Well, you may have seen it, but I have it," argued the second.
At that point, a lawyer squirrel came up and said, "You shouldnât quarrel.
Let me resolve this dispute." The two squirrels nodded, and the lawyer squirrel said, "Now, give me the nut." He broke the nut in half, and handed half to each squirrel, saying, "See? It was foolish of you to fight. Now the dispute is resolved."
Then he reached over and said, "And for my fee, Iâll take the meat."
