The best jokes (18346 to 18360)The best jokes rated by site visitors. Top rated jokes. These are the best jokes rated 18346 to 18360. NOTE jokes sometimes might seem not to be in order. Due to better performance joke top list is refreshed only once daily. |
Chuck Norris doesnt wear a wat...
Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is. Chuck Norris has an ongoing fe...
Chuck Norris has an ongoing feud with the Keebler elves. It started when they stole his idea for putting a kitchen in a tree. While the elves now make subpar cookies in the tree, Chuck's tree contains a fully functioning crystal meth lab.If you spell Chuck Norris in S...
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.Gifts For A Teacher #joke #humor
A Stanford Medical research group advertised for participants in a study of obsessive-compulsive disorder. They were looking for therapy clients who had been diagnosed with this disorder.The response was gratifying; they got 300 responses the day after the ad came out.
All from the same person.
Icing ...
A young man was visiting his brother and sister-in-law for the holidays. As he arrived at their house he found his young nephew, Timmy, helping them bake some cupcakes.
After they were done, his sister-in-law allowed Timmy to put the icing on. When the boy had finished, he brought them to the table.
"The cupcakes look delicious, Tim." his uncle said. He took a bite and said, "Timmy these are so good."
As he finished cupcake and took another, he again complimented his little nephew. "The cupcakes look beautiful, Tim," his uncle said. "How did you get the icing so neat?"
His nephew replied, "It was easy. I just licked them."
The uncle turned pale. He pointed to the plate of cupcakes. "You licked all of these?"
Timmie replied, "Well no. After a while my tongue got tired, and I got the dog to help."
Chuck Norris can dribble a foo...
Chuck Norris can dribble a football.Contrary to popular belief, Am...
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.The deadliest kind of shrimp? ...
The deadliest kind of shrimp? Prawn-as.A stagecoach bounced down a ru...
A stagecoach bounced down a rutted road, heading for Dallas. In the coach were a Texan, a very busty lady, and a greenhorn from the East. The greenhorn kept eyeing the lady. Finally he leaned forward and said, "Lady, I'll give you ten dollars for a blowjob."The Texan was appalled. He pulled out his pistol, shot the greenhorn right between the eyes, and shoved his body out the door. The lady gasped and said, "Thank you, sir, for defending my honor!"
The Texan holstered his gun and said, "Your honor, hell! Just trying to keep down inflation. Around here, a blowjob goes for two dollars."
The out-of-state couple are ca...
The out-of-state couple are camping on the shores of a lake near a tiny hamlet.The young wife, stunningly built, decides to give the local town folk a thrill by sun bathing in the nude.
"That's OK with me, honey," says her husband. "I'll go get some wood for the fire."
About thirty minutes later, the husband returns to the campsite and finds his wife in tears. One of her breasts has been painted green, the other red and her ass is blue.
"What on earth happened to you dear?" he asks.
"Some of those rednecks from town came over and told me they don't allow any nakedness around these parts. Then they gave me this paint job!"
"Damn those trouble-makers! I'll fix them!" the husband shouts.
He rides into town and finds the rednecks in a bar.
"Who is the SOB who painted my wife red, green and blue!" he shouts.
A huge redneck, about 6'-8," steps forward, a shotgun in his hand. "I did it," he bellows. "What you got to say about it?"
The husband answers meekly, "I just wanted you to know the first coat of paint is dry."
Q: What sits on the bottom...
Q: What sits on the bottom of the ocean and twitches?A: A nervous wreck!
This guy was pulled over for r...
This guy was pulled over for running a stop sign. When the cop checked the man's driver's license, he said, "You're wearing glasses on your ID and you're not now. I'm going to have to give you a ticket."The guy said, "Officer, I have contacts."
The cop said, "Look, buddy, I don't care who you know ... I'm giving you a ticket."
Blonde quickies 5
Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shirts?A: Tits go in front.
Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."
Q: What do blondes do with their arseholes in the morning ?
A: Pack their lunch and send them to work.
Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
A1: Introduces themself.
A2: Walks home.
Q: How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?
A: Fertilised.
Q: How does a blonde like her eggs?
A: Unfertilised.
Q: What's the first thing a blonde does after sex?
A: Opens the car door.
Q: How do blondes turn the light on after sex ?
A: Kick open the car door.
Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A: More head room.
Q: Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs?
A: More leg room.
