Join us on
WhatsApp
Join us on
Telegram
Join us on
Viber

Jokes of the day for Sunday, 30 November 2008

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Sunday, 30 November 2008

Bob calls in to his job:
...

Bob calls in to his job:
"Hey, boss I'm not coming to work today. I'm really sick. I got a headache, stomach ache, and my legs hurt, so I'm not coming into work."

The boss says:
"You know Bob, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife, and tell her to give me sex. That makes me feel better, and I can go to work. You should try that."

2 hours later Bob calls:
"Boss, I did what you said, and I feel great! I'll be at work soon. By the way, you got a nice house."
#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Used to be Joke rating machine, but this site is dead
  • Currently 6.40/10

Rating: 6.4/10 (5)

I think I'm shrinking!

A man rushed into the doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!"

The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient."

Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 7.00/10

Rating: 7.0/10 (4)

Phone Call

((((R...

Phone Call

((((RING)))) (((RING)))

**Pick Up**

"Hello?"

"Hi honey, this is Daddy, Is Mummy near the phone?"

"No Daddy, she's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank."

After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Frank."

"Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now"

Brief Pause ...

"Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and shout to Mummy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway."

"Okay Daddy, just a minute."

A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone.

"I did it Daddy."

"And what happened honey?" he asked.

"Well, Mummy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming.

Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!"

"Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Frank?"

"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead"

***Long Pause***

***Longer Pause***

Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool??? .....Is this 9555-7039??"

#joke #food #honey #sport #swimming
Joke | Source: http://www.webwombat.com.au/ - Jokes: Joke of the Day
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (5)

I've been in love with the sam...

I've been in love with the same woman for many years. I hope my wife doesn't find out or she'll kill me!
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (7)

Over 40

"Women over 40 are at their best, but men over 30 are too old to recognize it."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 2.40/10

Rating: 2.4/10 (5)

Blonde Coffins

Q: Why do blondes have triangular coffins?

A: Every time their head hits the pillow their legs spread.

Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 5.63/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (8)

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil...

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?

He sold his soul to Santa.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (6)

A man goes to the doctor feeli...

A man goes to the doctor feeling unwell. The doctor examines him and says: "You're suffering from Alice."
"What's that?" asks the man.

"I don't know," says the doctor, "But Christopher Robin went down with it"
Mrs C Smith, Penicuik

Did you hear about the man who bought a dog with no legs?

He called it cigarette. He used to take it out for a drag.

Neil Sutton, Corstorphine

Once upon a time there were two muffins in the microwave. Suddenly, one of the muffins said: "Man it's hot in here."

The other muffin exclaimed: "Look, a talking muffin!"

Tony White, Loanhead

Why does a room full of married people looks so empty?

There's not a single person in it . . .

Mark Allan, Niddrie

What do you call a boom-a-rang, that doesn't come back?

A Stick.

Eric Stevenson, Leith

If you have a joke you would like to share with us e-mail: letters_en@edinburghnews .com





The full article contains 162 words and appears in Edinburgh Evening News newspaper.
Page 1 of 1

Joke | Source: http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
  • Currently 2.80/10

Rating: 2.8/10 (5)

GRATEFUL MARRIAGE

An elderly couple, Minnie and Max, sit down to their Thanksgiving dinner. Before eating, his wife speaks up. “Can I ask you a question, Max?”

“Sure Minnie,” Max says, waiting to dig into his meal.

“Has our 50 years of marriage made you grateful?”

“Yes, indeed!” Max replied. “For the twenty years I was a bachelor!”

#joke #thanksgiving #food #dinner #meal #eating
Joke | Source: Joke of the day - Jokes of the day on Wordpress
  • Currently 5.38/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (8)

A man in a hot air balloon rea...

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a man below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.

"I am," replied the man, "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information and the fact is I am still lost.  Frankly, you've not been much help so far."

The man below responded, "You must be in Management."

"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 18 August 2008
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (3)

12 Dad Jokes for National Tell A Joke Day

Monsters are not good at math.... Unless you Count Dracula.

19 had fight with 20 ... and 21

I would tell a joke about pzza, but its too cheesy

I gave away all my batteries today ... free of charge

I got a universal remote for Christmas ... well this changes everything

I had a joke about construction, but im still working on it

Did u get a haircut? No i cut them all out

Dracula doesnt have many friends because hese a pain in the neck.

I stayed up all night wondering where the Sun had gone. Then it dawned on me.

What did the sushi say to the bumble bee? Wasabi

Mountain aren't just funny, their hill areas.

I asked dad for his best dad joke, he said you.

#joke #christmas #animal #bee
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 7.04/10

Rating: 7.0/10 (26)

The Wisdom of Yoda continued

The Wisdom of Yoda continued
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Friars Club - For over 25 years the Sunshine Committee has been providing entertainment, companionship and love to children's and senior citizens centers in the NY area.
  • Currently 6.71/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (7)

Top 10 Reasons to Celebrate Easter

10. You absolutely love the movie, "The Ten Commandments."
9. You look really, really good in yellow.
8. You just went on a low cholesterol diet and didn't want to waste all those eggs in the fridge.
7. You figure any Holiday that starts with a "Good Friday" can't be all bad.
6. You love to bite the heads off chocolate bunnies.
5. It's a good time to check out your neighborhood church and not be noticed.
4. You have this bunny suit you love to wear, but are too insecure to wear it without a reason.
3. Even though you don't know what it is, you really like the sound of going to a "Passion Play."
2. You figured since Jesus went to all THAT trouble to make it to the first Easter, you'd give it a shot.
1. As a Christian you celebrate the resurrection every other day, why not Easter too?
From EasterHumor.com

#joke #friday #animal #bunny #food #egg #chocolate
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 3.59/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (39)

Recalled Chrstimas Toys


Recalled Christmas Toys


  1. Broken Bag-O-Glass

  2. Dr. Kevorkian First Aid Kit

  3. Jeffrey Domhers Easy Bake oven and cookbook

  4. Timothy McVays home Chemistry set

  5. Switchblade Barney

  6. Pork-n-Beany Babies

  7. Make your own moonshine kit

  8. Mike Tyson Doll (with ear biting action)






#joke #short #christmas
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 15 June 2008
  • Currently 4.50/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (38)

Bulk mail

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.

His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"

"But why?" asks the man.

"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.

#joke #lawyer #divorce
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 9.00/10

Rating: 9.0/10 (23)

Jokes Archive

NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.