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Jokes of the day for Thursday, 22 December 2022

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Thursday, 22 December 2022

I was always fascinated by the

I was always fascinated by the metric system, thanks to my gram awe's influence. At school I wasn't like the rest of the kgs: I certainly wasn't the litre, and the bullies just wouldn't lb me alone. At home my dear nano couldn't console me, nor could my friend Milli who centi me a deca cards to cheer me up. Eventually I cheered up, however, and the abuse didn't last furlong.
#joke
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 2.00/10

Rating: 2.0/10 (4)

If the Magi Were Women...

You know what would have happened if there had been three wise WOMEN instead of three wise MEN, don’t you?The three wise WOMEN would have asked for directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the Baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole, and given practical gifts.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 7.09/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (11)

SLIDESHOW #36 - Funny Photo Slideshow

Keep Looking

I'm not a complete idiot...
Some parts are still missing!

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 10 November 2020
  • Currently 7.54/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (13)

Rocky...

One Halloween a trick-or-treater came to my door dressed as "Rocky" in boxing gloves and satin shorts. Soon after I gave him some goodies, he returned for more. "Aren't you the same 'Rocky' who left my doorstep several minutes ago?" I asked.

"Yes," he replied, "but now I'm the sequel. I'll be back three more times tonight too."

#joke #halloween
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 08 January 2017
  • Currently 7.05/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (20)

A college student picked up hi...

A college student picked up his date at her parents home. He'd scraped together every cent he had to take her to a fancy restaurant. To his dismay, she ordered almost everything expensive on the menu. Appetizers, lobster, champagne. . .the works. Finally he asked her,
"Does your Mother feed you like this at home?"
"No," she said, "but my Mother's not looking to get laid, either."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 22 December 2009
  • Currently 4.59/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (71)

A little girl is sitting on he...

A little girl is sitting on her grandpa's lap and studying the wrinkles on his old face. She gets up the nerve to rub her fingers over the wrinkles. Then she touches her own face and looks more puzzled. Finally the little girl asks, "Grandpa, did God make you?"
"He sure did honey, a long time ago," replies her grandpa.
"Well, did God make me?" asks the little girl.
"Yes, He did, and that wasn't too long ago," answers her grandpa.
"Boy," says the little girl, "He's sure doing a lot better job these days isn't He?"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 22 December 2009
  • Currently 8.10/10

Rating: 8.1/10 (40)

Chuck Norris can divide by zer...

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 22 December 2011
  • Currently 3.43/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (42)

A Moral Question

One man said to another, "I didn't sleep with my wife before I got married. How about you?"
The man replied, "I don't know. What was her maiden name?"

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 22 December 2010
  • Currently 5.73/10

Rating: 5.7/10 (37)

100% Polar bear

One afternoon in the Arctic, a father polar bear and his son polar bear were sitting in the snow. The son polar bear turned to his father and asked, "Dad, am I 100% polar bear?"

"Of course, son, you're 100% polar bear."

A few minutes pass, and the son polar bear turns to his father again and says, "Dad, tell me the truth. I can take it. Am I 100% polar bear? No brown bear or panda bear or grizzly bear?"

"Son, I'm 100% polar bear and your mother is 100% polar bear, so you're certainly 100% polar bear."

A few more minutes pass, and the son polar bear again turns to his father and says, "Dad, don't think your sparing my feelings if it's not true. I really need to know... am I really 100% polar bear?"

Distressed by this continued questioning, the father polar bear finally asked his son, "Why do you keep asking if you're 100% polar bear?"

"Because I'm freezing to death out here!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 22 December 2016
  • Currently 7.89/10

Rating: 7.9/10 (28)

A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker...

"God please grant me chastity, but not just yet."
- St. Augustine
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 17 January 2016
  • Currently 6.71/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (7)

Trouble Sleeping

The woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. "What seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked.
"Well, I, uh," she stammered. "I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac."
"I see," he said. "I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour."
"That's not bad," she replied. "How much for all night?"
#joke #doctor
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 08 February 2017
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (4)

The Monastery on a Cliff

There is a story about a monastery perched high on a cliff several hundred feet in the air. The only way to reach the monastery was to be suspended in a basket which was pulled to the top by several monks who pulled and tugged with all their strength. Obviously the ride up the steep cliff in that basket was terrifying. One tourist got exceedingly nervous about half-way up as he noticed that the rope by which he was suspended was old and frayed. With trembling voice, he asked the monk who was riding with him in the basket how often they changed the rope.
The monk thought for a moment and answered brusquely, "Whenever it breaks."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 23 October 2015
  • Currently 7.20/10

Rating: 7.2/10 (5)

Got Nuts?

A girl walks into a grocery store and asks the stock boy if he has any nuts.
The guy says, "No, ma'am."
She says, "Well, do you have any dates?"
And he says, "Ma'am, if I don't have nuts, do you really expect me to have dates?"

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 12 August 2013
  • Currently 7.12/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (50)

Long winded

A man was giving a speech at his lodge meeting. He got a bit carried away and talked for two hours. Finally, he realized what he had done and said, "I'm sorry I talked so long. I left my watch at home."

A voice from the back of the room replied, "There's a calendar behind you..."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 24 February 2017
  • Currently 8.79/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (19)

Ant jokes, lighter jokes, and few more

What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One weighs a ton, and the other is a little lighter.

Three men were in a boat and had four cigarettes, but no lighter,
So they threw one cigarette overboard,
and the whole boat became a cigarette lighter.

I used to be a programmer for autocorrect
They fried me for no raisin

I have the body of a 24 year old....
but it's in the freezer

How do you tell the gender of an ant?
Throw it in water. If it sinks, it’s girl ant, but if it floats…

Its impossible for viruses to spread throughout an ant colony?
Because of all the little antey bodies.

What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin.

Why do Norwegian warships have a barcode on the side of them?
So that they can Scandinavian

I bought shoes from a drug dealer.
I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

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