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Jokes of the day for Tuesday, 20 June 2023

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Tuesday, 20 June 2023

Selection of recent Dad jokes and puns

When does a sandwich cook?
When it is bakin' lettuce and tomato.

Why did the smart phone need glasses?
It lost all its contacts.

What state has the smallest drinks?
Mini-soda.

Why did the cow cross the road?
They wanted to go to the mooooovies.

What do you call a funky car?
Mustang.

What did the hammer say to his homeboys?
Nailed it.

Why are cats good at video games?
Because they have nine lives.

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea.

What is big and green and falls off over the tree will kill you?
A snooker table.

What did the French guy do when he drank too much water?
He went oui oui in his pants.

Where do pencils spend their vacation?
Pencil-Vania.

What do flies eat for breakfast?
A bowl of poop loops.

Why did the balloon go near the needle?
He wanted to be a pop star.

What did the duck do when he read all these jokes?
He quacked up.

Why was the tomato all red?
It saw the salad dressing.

What do you call a female magician in the dessert?
A sand witch.

How do billboards talk?
Sign language.

I hurt my foot driving the other day. You know what I called?
The toe company.

What does a dinosaur use to pay bills?
Tyrannosaurus checks.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: John Chris - Funny jokes collected from all around
  • Currently 1.80/10

Rating: 1.8/10 (5)

20 of the most groan-worthy Dad jokes

What do you call a bear with no socks on?
Bare foot.

What button is impossible to unbutton?
The belly button.

What did Michael Jackson call his denim store?
Billie Jeans.

What is invisible and smells of worms?
A bird's fart.

What do you call a Minecraft celebration?
A block party.

Who is the best Kung Fu vegetable?
Brocco-Lee.

What do you call a rabbit who is angry over getting burnt?
A hot cross bunny.

What did the butt say to the other butt?
PTTTTT.

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.

Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
He got stuck in a crack.

What's round and sounds like a trumpet?
A crumpet.

What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
A dino‐SNORE.

What do you call a man with a spade on his head?
Dug.

What kind of hair do they sell at IHOP?
Eggstensions.

What do you call an Asian man who always has correct change?
Exact Lee.

What do you call an apple that farts?
A fruity Tooty.

What is the best day to cook?
FRY-DAY.

What did the horse say when it fell?
GIDDYUP!

What do you receive when you ask a lemon to help?
Lemon aid

Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she will let it go.

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 2.00/10

Rating: 2.0/10 (4)

SLIDESHOW #125 - Funny Photo Slideshow

Texas Traffic

I was on vacation in Texas, and was appalled by Dallas' chaotic traffic.
I asked the bellhop at the hotel why it was so disorderly.
"In some countries, they drive on the right, in others on the left. Here, we drive in the shade."

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 9.00/10

Rating: 9.0/10 (14)

Funny video of the day - Celebrity Dads Read Dad Jokes For Father's Day Ft. Henry Winkler, Sterling K. Brown

Celebrity Dads Read Dad Jokes For Father's Day Ft. Henry Winkler, Sterling K. Brown - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Scared Dad

Two kids are arguing over whose father is the biggest scaredy-cat.
The first kid says, "My dad is so scared that when lightning strikes, he hides underneath the bed."

The second kid replies,"Yeah? Well, that's nothing. My dad is so scared that when my mom has to work the nightshift, he sleeps with the lady next door."

#joke
  • Currently 9.07/10

Rating: 9.1/10 (15)

Biblical Financiers

Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter.
She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 15 February 2023
  • Currently 8.00/10

Rating: 8.0/10 (16)

Relatives of yours?

A young couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the husband sarcastically asked, "Are they relatives of yours?"

"Yes," his wife replied. "I married into the family."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 14 July 2017
  • Currently 7.87/10

Rating: 7.9/10 (15)

I can't help but stare a...

I can't help but stare at large mansions, especially since my wife always tells me to watch my manors.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 25 August 2010
  • Currently 3.50/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (2)

dumb blondes

10 blondes and 1 brunette were mountain climbing one day. so they were climbing and they got into trouble at a spot one of them had to give up there life so they could continue on so the brunette said i'll do it so you girls can go on so she jumped to the jagged rocks below (ouch) the dumb blondes felt sorry for the brunette so they jumped of to

THE END

#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 20 June 2011
  • Currently 2.24/10

Rating: 2.2/10 (74)

A tough looking group of hairy...

A tough looking group of hairy bikers are riding when they see a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?" "I'm going to commit suicide," she says. While he doesn’t want to appear insensitive, he also doesn’t want to miss an opportunity, so he asks, "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?" She does, and it is a long, deep, lingering kiss. After she's finished, the tough, hairy biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I’ve ever had! That's a real talent you’re wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?" "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl…"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 20 June 2015
  • Currently 8.28/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (50)

Dan Cummins: Greeting Card Writer

I dont just write jokes. You know what Im best at? Greeting cards. Im a really good greeting card writer. And Im going to prove it with a little sample of my work Im going to share for you: As each day passes, you grow older, weaker. Ive been working out. Revenge is near. Happy Fathers Day
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 20 June 2010
  • Currently 4.61/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (41)

Zach Galifianakis: Waking Up With an Erection

Guys, have you ever woken up with an erection, and then you realize youre just in a massage chair in a Brookstone?
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 20 June 2012
  • Currently 3.86/10

Rating: 3.9/10 (37)

News headlines 04

Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing

New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing

Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire

Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

Air Head Fired

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board

Deer Kill 17,000

Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni

War Dims Hope for Peace

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 20 June 2012
  • Currently 4.21/10

Rating: 4.2/10 (29)

Grammatically Correct

Which letter is silent in "scent"...
Is it the 'C' or the 'S'?

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 19 April 2023
  • Currently 7.13/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (8)

A young man proposes marriage...

A young man proposes marriage to his sweetheart. The girl replies, "If I marry you, will you promise to give up smoking?"
"Yes, I will," came the reply.
"And drinking?"
"I will give up drinking as well."
"And going to the club with your cronies?"
"Yes, I will."
"And what else will you give up for my sake?" she asked finally.
"I have already given up the idea of marrying you."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 23 November 2016
  • Currently 8.36/10

Rating: 8.4/10 (14)

A blonde is terribly overweigh...

A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."
When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"
The blonde nodded, "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day."
"From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.
"No, from all that skipping."
#joke #blonde #doctor
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 30 March 2018
  • Currently 8.00/10

Rating: 8.0/10 (7)

Jokes Archive

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