Jokes of the day for Sunday, 18 January 2026
| Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Sunday, 18 January 2026 |
A quick drink...
A cowboy runs into a bar and says to the bartender, "Give me twenty shots of your best scotch, and make it quick!"
The bartender pours out the shots, and the cowboy drinks them as fast as he can.
The bartender remarks, "I've never seen anybody drink that fast!"
The cowboy replies, "Well, you'd drink that fast too if you had what I have."
"What's that?" asks the bartender.
"Only fifty cents!"
A man is walking from the lake...
A man is walking from the lake carrying two fish in a bucket. He is approached by the game warden who asks him for his fishing license.The fisherman says to the warden, "I did not catch these fish, they are my pets. Every day I come down to the water and whistle and these fish jump out and I take them around to see the sights only to return them at the end of the day."
The warden, not believing him, reminds him that it is illegal to fish without a license. The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "If you don?t believe me then watch," as he throws the fish back into the water.
The warden says, "Now whistle to your fish and show me how they jump out the water."
The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "What fish?"
Remember the good times
If someone comes into your life and has a positive impact on you, be thankful that your paths crossed. And even if they can’t stay for some reason, be thankful that somehow they brought joy into your life, even if it was just for a short while. Life is change. People come and go, some stay, some don’t and that’s okay. Remember the good times and smile that it happened. Jimmy Carr: Teasing
My girlfriend said she wanted me to tease her. I said, 'Alright, fatty.'
Now What? (world's funniest joke)
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. .
He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". .
The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." .
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. .
Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?" .
This is The "world's funniest joke", as by the THE SCIENTIFIC SEARCH FOR THE WORLD’S FUNNIEST JOKE by Richard Wiseman, of the University of Hertfordshire in 2002
The Winning joke, which was later found is based on a 1951 Goon Show sketch by Spike Milligan
Photo by Rhett Noonan on Unsplash
Happy International Joke Day July the first!
Why are educated people so hot?
Why are educated people so hot?
Cause they got more degrees.
Photo by Наталия Когут on Pixabay
The vet
There was once an aspiring veterinarian who put himself through veterinary school working nights as a taxidermist.
Upon graduation, he decided he could combine his two vocations to better serve the needs of his patients and their owners, while doubling his practice and, therefore, his income.
He opened his own offices with a shingle on the door saying, "Dr. Jones, Veterinary Medicine and Taxidermy -- Either way, you get your dog back!"
Tetanus Shot
The old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from the couch then starts putting on his coat.
His wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks, "Where are you going?"
He replies, "I'm going to the doctor."
She says, "Why, are you sick?"
He says, "Nope, I'm going to get me some of that Viagra stuff."
Immediately the wife starts working and positioning herself to get out of her rocker and begins to put on her coat.
He says, "Where the hell are you going"?
She answers, "I'm going to the doctor, too."
He says, "Why, what do you need?"
She says, "If you're going to start using that rusty old thing, I'm getting a tetanus shot."
Don't give up. You time is coming soon.
I know sometimes you feel like giving up. Every new day there seems to be no change in your life. All the troubles of your heart and worries keep on worsening! You wonder why everything is happening to you. You keep on asking yourself why you’re not lucky like other people. You keep on praying to God but so far He hasn’t answered your prayers. Now you have started losing hope. You now think that maybe you were meant to be like that or maybe somebody cursed you. But I tell you what my friend? You weren’t meant to be like that and you weren’t cursed. God is silent but He watches you day and night. He listens to your prayers and He has something special for you. Just stay strong, focused, and hardworking and keep praying to God. Bear it in your minds that you’re not alone in that hard situation, we are all in the same boat. So don’t give up my dear friend. Your time is coming soon. 
Pepsi Genie
It was a black man.....a hungry, thirsty bum. He was looking for food in a garbage can, when suddenly he finds a can of Pepsi. He opens the can and a magic genie comes out. "You get three wishes, be very careful and don't spoil them."
"OK, OK," and without hesitation he says, "first I want to be white. Second, I want a lot of girls, naked girls, beautiful girls sitting on my face! And third, I want plenty to drink.... lots of water.
Bam, presto...the Magic Genie turned him into.....a toilet!
I went camping with my brother...
I went camping with my brother and made fun of his shelter. After that he remained diss tent with me. 
