Popular jokes (24316 to 24330)Jokes sorted by popularity on social networks. Popularity is sum of all all comments, likes, pluses, tweets, etc. is new measure, independant from rating with our star rating system. |
In a terrible accident at a ra
In a terrible accident at a railroad crossing, a train smashed into a car and pushed it nearly four hundred yards down the track. Though no one was killed, the driver took the train company to court.At the trial, the engineer insisted that he had given the driver ample warning by waving his lantern back and forth for nearly a minute. He even stood and convincingly demonstrated how he'd done it. The court believed his story, and the suit was dismissed.
"Congratulations," the lawyer said to the engineer when it was over. "You did superbly under cross-examination."
"Thanks," he said, "but he sure had me worried."
"How's that?" the lawyer asked.
"I was afraid he was going to ask if the damned lantern was lit!"
The people of Helsinki have ne
The people of Helsinki have never been a fan of Schubert's UnFinnish Symphony.Adult jokes-Mating style
Bernie and Ted were walking down the street when they saw two street dogs mating in the park. Bernie said, "That's just great. I do it like that with my wife every night."Ted said, "My wife is unadventurous, she only likes to do it the old fashioned way. Give me advice how you get your wife to do this, I would also like to try it with my wife."
Bernie replied, "Give your wife two pegs of whiskey and she will be all ready."
The next morning they met for their morning jog and Bernie asked, "How did it go?"
Ted answered, "It was great, but it took my wife eight drinks."
Bernie asked with surprise, "Eight drinks?"
Ted replied with a sigh, "Yes. After two she was more than willing to screw that way, but it took six more to get her out on the front lawn!"
Yo Mama Is So Flat
yo mama is so flat that they call her chest the great plainsLike riding a bike!
1. You have to keep pumping if you want to get anywhere.2. It's best to wear protective head-gear when going into unfamiliar territory.
3. You can do it with no hands, but it's best not to try it until you have a lot of experience.
4. It's easier to learn with the help of someone who has a lot of experience.
5. You can do it by yourself, but it's usually not as much fun.
6. It's usually hard to control your speed the first few times you try.
7. It's best to have a soft place to land.
8. You don't need any special clothing, but you can get some if you are really into it.
9. If you're with someone who is having trouble keeping up, it's usually best to slow down and wait for them.
10. Most people think it looks easy until they try it for the first time.
11. Once you learn, you never forget how.
12. If you fall off get right back on.
13. If you get a flat, try pumping it back up.
14. Remember to signal before you change direction.
15. Make sure that you've got a firm grip.
16. Sometimes it's nice to have a cushy seat.
17. Once you're over the top, you can just coast the rest of the way.
18. That's why some of them are called Mountin' Bikes.
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman
If you take the Noah's A
If you take the Noah's Ark story literally, you may be deluging yourself.There were three women who alw...
There were three women who always hang their laundry out in the backyard.When it rains, of course, the laundry always gets wet - all the laundry,
...except for the redhead's.
The other two women wonder why the redhead never has her laundry out on the days that it rains.
So one day, they are all out in the backyard putting their clothes on the line when one of the women says to the redhead, "How come when it rains, your laundry is never out?"
"Well," says the redhead, "when I wake up in the morning, I look over at my husband. If his penis is hanging over his right leg, I know it's going to be a great day and I can hang out the wash. If his penis is hanging over his left leg, I know it's going to rain, so I don't hang out the wash."
"What if it is pointed up?" asks one of the women.
"Honey," says the redhead, "on a day like that, you don't do the laundry!"
Our generation never got a bre...
Our generation never got a break. When we were young they taught us to respect our elders. Now that we are older, they tell us to listen to the youth of the country.That dead
A mortician was laying out the body of a man with an unbelievably long penis.
He called in his receptionist to show her.
She took one look and said, "That's just like my Harry's."
"You mean he's got one that long?" the mortician asked.
"No," she replied. "That dead."
with the immense popularity of...
with the immense popularity of Viagra it's not surprising that the company has now started to produce versions of the drug for specific groups of customers: Viagra Lite
For people who only want to masturbate
Viagrallium
A mix of Viagra and Vallium: if you don't get to fuck, then you don't give a fuck.
Stay out of the dorms...
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules.
"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $25 the first time."
He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $50. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $100. Are there any questions?"
At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired:
"How much for a season pass?"
