Popular jokes (25486 to 25500)Jokes sorted by popularity on social networks. Popularity is sum of all all comments, likes, pluses, tweets, etc. is new measure, independant from rating with our star rating system. |
Pass from earlier Generation
A young woman was preparing a ham dinner. After she cut off the end of the ham, she placed it in a pan for baking.Her daughter asked her, "Why did you cut off the end of the ham?And she replied, "I really don't know but my mother always did, so I thought you were supposed to."
Later when talking to her mother she asked her why she cut off the end of the ham before baking it, and her mother replied, "I really don't know, but that's the way my mom always did it."
A few weeks later while visiting her grandmother, the young woman asked, "Grandma, why is it that you cut off the end of a ham before you bake it?"
Her grandmother replied, "Well, dear, that's the only way it would fit into my baking pan."
Was Dick Cheneyron
Was Dick Cheney into bondage?Dan Naturman: Alumni Calls
You spend like a $100 grand in tuition, and you think youre done with them. Then for the rest of your life, theyre calling up asking for money. No one else does that. If I see a movie, I dont get a call from the theater, like, Were buying a new projector, can you kick in a few bucks? Were calling all the Spiderman II alumni.Play a Game
One day little Johnny went to school. His teacher said they were going to play a game. She would place an object behind her and describe it.
The first person to get it got a piece of candy. First she said, "The object is red and grows on trees."
A kid raised his hand and said "an apple" the teacher said correct.
Then she said, "The object is flat and comes in different colors" a different kid raises his hand and said it is a notebook!
The teacher said correct.
Then Johnny said, "ooh! ooh! Can I try?"
The teacher said yes.
He stood up and put his hand in his pocket. He said "The object is round, hard, and has a head on it."
The teacher said "JOHNNY! GO TO THE OFFICE!!"
Johnny said, "No it's a quarter!"
If you want to deliv...
“If you want to deliver a compliment, you have to address them properly.”
Anniversary Flowers
A sad-faced Doug walked into a flower shop early one morning.The clerk was ready to take his order for a funeral piece, based on the look on Doug's face, but soon realized his assumption was wrong as Doug asked for a basket of flowers sent to his wife for their anniversary.
"And what day will that be?" the clerk asked.
Glumly he replied, "Yesterday".
Two retired gentlemen are sitt...
Two retired gentlemen are sitting on a park bench in Gainesville.The first one asks the second what he used to do.
The second says "Well, I used to be a beekeeper in Wisconsin, but a fire burned the warehouse to the ground, so I collected the insurance and retired. What about you?"
The first man says "Well, I used to be a beekeeper, too, but a flood wiped out my whole business. So I took the insurance money and retired, too."
The second beekeeper thinks for a while, then asks "How do you start a flood?"
A juggler, driving to his next...
A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police.“What are those knives doing in your car? Asked the officer.
“I use them in my juggling act,” says the juggler.
“Oh yeah?” “Let’s see you do it.” Says the policeman.
So the man starts tossing and juggling the knives.
A guy driving by sees this and says, “Wow, am I glad I stopped
Drinking. Look at the test they’re making you do now!”
High Speed Chase
After an intense high speed chase, an officer finally gets the lawbreaker to pull over.You know, says the cop, I was originally pulling you over to tell you your taillight is out. Why the hell did you take off like that?
Last week my wife ran off with a cop, the man said, and I was afraid you were trying to give her back.
The new dads!
I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labor when the nurse walked out and said to a man sitting there, "Congratulations sir, you're the new father of twins!"
The man replied, "How about that! I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team." About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and announced that Mrs. Smith had just had triplets.
Mr. Smith stood up and said, "Well, how do ya like that, I work for 3M!"
When the nurse appeared next, she told the third man that his wife had given birth to quadruplets.
"That's amazing! I work for the Four Seasons Hotel!"
At this point the gentleman sitting next to me let out a little strangled gasp and hurriedly got up, obviously distraught. When I asked him if he was okay, he explained, "I think I need a breath of fresh air." The man continued, "I'm the casting director for 101 Dalmatians."
The Watch
Little Johnny sees that his friend at school has a new watch so he asks him how he got it.
"I waited until I heard the bedsprings squeaking in my folk's bedroom and then I ran in. My father gave me a watch to get rid of me.", replied the little friend.
Little Johnny, thinking that this was a cool idea waited that night until he heard the bedsprings squeaking rhythmically and then ran into his folk's bedroom.
"What do you want!", asked the father gruffly.
"I want a watch!", said Johnny. 
"Well sit down and shut up!", replied the father.
Joke of the Day, posted everyday on getfrank.co.nz - Click to see the past weeks worth right here...
Superman and Batman
Superman once wrote on the wall: "Batman is a wimp."
The next day Batman wrote: "Superman is Clark Kent."
The workman was hanging a sigh...
The workman was hanging a sigh outside of Congress. It read, “Solicitors, fakers and grafters will not be permitted in the House.”Just then a senator happened by. “Better strike out grafters,” he said, “or we’ll never be able to raise a quorum.”
