Popular jokes (6316 to 6330)Jokes sorted by popularity on social networks. Popularity is sum of all all comments, likes, pluses, tweets, etc. is new measure, independant from rating with our star rating system. |
What Is the NSA?
What is the NSA?
A government organization that actually listens to you.
Really funny jokes-Bizarre bank robbery
'You'll never believe what happened, Sergeant. A truck backed up to my bank, the doors opened. Out comes these robbers and they lead an elephant out of the truck. The elephant then breaks through my plate glass window, sticks his trunk in, sucks up all the money. Then the gang lead the elephant back into the truck. The robbers close the truck doors and the truck pulled away.'
The desk sergeant said, 'Could you tell me, for identification purposes, whether it was an African elephant or an Indian elephant?'
'How can you tell the difference?' asked the bank manager.
'Well,' said the sergeant, 'The African elephant has great big ears whereas the Indian elephant has little ears. So which kind of elephant was used in the robbery?'
'How should I know? I couldn't see his ears,' said the bank manager. 'He had a stocking over his head.'
Cory Kahaney: Handling Halloween
Halloween is pay day, folks. A lot of parents are strange; they say, Ration the candy. I say, Let them eat as much as they want -- they throw up, the rest is mine. Thats how I handle Halloween. Clean Ireland Humor
An English man and an Irish man are driving head on , at night, on a twisty, dark road. Both are driving to fast for the conditions and collide on a sharp bend in the road. To the amazement of both, they are unscathed, though their cars are both destroyed. In celebration of their luck, both agree to put aside their dislike for the other from that moment on. At this point, the Irish man goes to the boot and fetches a 12 year old bottle of Jameson whiskey. He hands the bottle to the English man, whom exclaims,'' may the English and the Irish live together forever, in peace, and harmony.'' The English man then tips the bottle and lashes half of it down. Still flabbergasted over the whole thing, he goes to hand the bottle to the Irish man, whom replies: '' no tanks, I'll just wait till the Garda get here!''
Pat was found dead in his back yard, and as the weather was a bit on the warm side, the wake was held down to only two days, so his mortal remains wouldn't take a bad turn. At last his friends laid him in the box, nailed it shut & started down the hill into the churchyard. As it was a long, sloping path and the mourners were appropriately tipsy, one fellow lurched into the gatepost as they entered the graveyard. Suddenly a loud knocking came from in the box. Paddy was alive! They opened the box up and he sat up, wide eyed, and they all said, Sure, it's a miracle of God! All rejoiced & they went back and had a few more drinks but later that day, the poor lad died. Really died. Stone cold dead. They bundled him back into his box, and as they huffed and puffed down the hill the next morning, the priest said, "Careful now, boys; mind ye don't bump the gatepost again"
Greatest Comedian in the Bible
Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.
Job application...
A man went to apply for a job. After filling out all of his applications, he waited anxiously for the outcome.
The employer read all his applications and said, "We have an opening for people like you."
"Oh, great," he said, "What is it?"
"It's called the door!"
Scary Collection 07
A witch jokeWhy did the stupid witch keep her clothes in the fridge?
She liked to have something cool to slip into in the evenings!
A cannibal joke
What happened when the cannibals ate a comedian?
They had a feast of fun!
A ghost joke
What do you call a ghost's mother and father?
Transparents!
A vampire joke
Who plays centre forward for the vampire football team?
The ghoulscorer!
A witch joke
Why did the witch give up fortune telling?
There was no future in it!
A Halloween joke
Why was everyone tickled by the fried chicken at the Halloween party?
Because the feathers were still on the chicken!
A witch joke
What did the doctor say to the witch in hospital?
With any luck you'll soon be well enough to get up for a spell!
Two attorneys went into a dine...
Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them, "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!"
The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.
In Love
The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, "Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?"
"I'm in love," the boy replied.
Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, "With whom?"
"With YOU!" he said.
"But Johnny," she said gently, "don't you see how silly that is? It's true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don't want a child."
"Oh, don't worry," the boy said reassuringly, "I'll use a rubber!"
“2017 would have been
“2017 would have been a great year to open up a unisex haircut place and call it 'Totally Clips'.”
What's white and if it fell ou...
What's white and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?A fridge.
Precise Measurement – From the Guys Blonde Files
Two blonde engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.
'We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole,' said one, 'but we don't have a ladder.'
The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her pocketbook, took a measurement, and announced, 'Twenty one feet, six inches,' and walked away.
One blonde engineer shook his head and laughed, 'A lot of good that does us. We ask for the height and she gives us the length.'
I just had a call from a Chari...
I just had a call from a Charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world.I told them to buzz off!!!!!
Anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving!!
