Popular jokes (9121 to 9135)Jokes sorted by popularity on social networks. Popularity is sum of all all comments, likes, pluses, tweets, etc. is new measure, independant from rating with our star rating system. |
Fix the Outhouse
Maw is outside the house hanging up the laundry, when she
hears Jethro in the kitchen. Maw walks in and says, "Jethro,
get out there and fix that there outhouse."
He says, "All right, Maw."
He walks out to the outhouse, looks at it, and says, "Maw,
there ain't nothin' wrong with this here outhouse!"
Maw says, "Yes there is son. Put your head down in the
hole."
He puts his head down in the hole and he says, "Maw, there
ain't nothin'
wrong with this here outhouse!"
He goes to lift up his head and he says, "Oww! OWW! Maw!
MAW, my beard's
stuck!"
She says, "Aggravatin', ain't it?"
#joke
Flintstones Restricted
The people of Dubai don't get to watch the Flintstones
But the people of Abu Dhabi Do
#joke #short
When My Wife Gets Mad
I hate it when my wife gets mad at me for being lazy.
It’s not like I did anything!
#joke #short
Alfred Robles: Engaged for 10 Months
My girl wants to change the engagement rules. She tells me, Babe, why do I got to wear a ring and let guys know Im taken, and you dont got to wear nothing? I told her, Babe, I wear my sad face every day.#joke #short
An HMO Manager Goes to Heaven. . .
The second doctor said, "I was a psychiatrist. I helped people rehabilitate themselves." St. Peter also invited him in.The third applicant stepped forward and said, "I was an HMO manager. I helped people get cost-effective health care." St. Peter said, "You can come in, too."
But as the HMO manager walked by, St. Peter added, "You can stay three days. After that, you can go to Hell."
#joke #doctor
How do you hunt down a cunning
How do you hunt down a cunning linguist?With a semioterotomatic rifle!
#joke #short
On a hot, dusty day a cowboy r
On a hot, dusty day a cowboy rode into a small frontier town. Afterdismounting, he walked behind his horse, lifted it's tail and kissed it wherethe sun don't shine. An old man rocking by the general store witnessed thewhole thing."Whudd'ya do that fer?" he asked.
"Got chapped lips," the cowboy replied.
The old man asked, "Does that help?"
The cowboy said, "Nope, but it keeps me from lickin' 'em."
Signs she is getting bored
Signs she is getting bored having sex with you1. After you request sex she replies, "Wait 'til the Nyquil kicks in."
2. Gets very upset when the ashtray falls off your ass.
3. Actually answers when you ask, "Who's your daddy?"
4. Last time she screamed during sex was the first time she won at solitaire.
5. Only moans during commercial breaks.
6. Starts her fake orgasms during foreplay.
7. Keeps trying to set you up with her friends.
8. Runs for vacant Senate seat in New York.
9. You are currently sitting backstage at the Springer show.
10. Beginning to think she is only "playing" dead.
11. During the act, she actually yelled out, "Oh, Baby, Yadda, Yadda, Yadda."
12. Has suddenly started making you pay in advance.
13. Her moans of delight discovered to actually be a .wav file.
14. Instead of asking to leave her shirt on, she wants to leave her pants on too.
15. Keeps asking, "Are you sure you're not gay?"
16. Boredom? So that's why she keeps deflating.
17. Holds up a picture of the Playboy centerfold to hurry you along.
18. Asks to be on top so she can balance her checkbook better.
19. She yells out her own name.
20. Bangs her head on the headboard before you begin.
#joke
Yo' Mama is so ugly, yo' dad
Yo' Mama is so ugly, yo' daddy takes her to work with him so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.#joke #short #yomama
Kids jokes-Sales call
Dean, an electronics salesman, makes a sales call and a little kid answers the phone.
Dean: Hello, little fellow. Can I speak to your mother?
Little kid : She is not at home.
Dean: Well, is anyone else at home?
Little kid: Ya, my sis.
Dean: Okay. May I speak to her?
Little kid: All right.
There was a long silence. Then:
Little kid: Hello?
Dean: Oh, it's you again. I thought you were going to call your sister.
Little kid: I tried. The trouble is, I can't get her out of the playpen.
Dean: Hello, little fellow. Can I speak to your mother?
Little kid : She is not at home.
Dean: Well, is anyone else at home?
Little kid: Ya, my sis.
Dean: Okay. May I speak to her?
Little kid: All right.
There was a long silence. Then:
Little kid: Hello?
Dean: Oh, it's you again. I thought you were going to call your sister.
Little kid: I tried. The trouble is, I can't get her out of the playpen.
#joke #mother
An 8-year-old girl went to her...
An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the garage."Daddy, what is sex?"
The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she was old enough to ask the question, then she was old enough to get a straight answer.
He proceeded to tell her all about the 'birds and the bees'. When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open.
"Why did you ask that question, honey?"
"Mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs."
