That's What It Stands For
Son: “Mom, can I have $20?”
Mom: “Does it look like I am made of money?”
Son: “Well, isn't that what M-O-M stands for?”
10 yo-yo jokes to celebrate National yo-yo day
1. Why don't yo-yos make good friends?
- Because they always let you down!
2. What did the yo-yo say to the tightrope?
- "Now, that's what I call a string walk!"
3. How do yo-yos cheer each other up?
- They say, "Hang in there, it'll be an up and down ride!"
4. Why was the yo-yo so good at making decisions?
- It always knew how to go back and forth!
5. Why don't yo-yos work in zero gravity?
- They can't deal with the ups and downs!
6. What did the yo-yo say to the super glue?
- "I need someone who won't let go!"
7. Why was the yo-yo the life of the party?
- Because it always knew how to unwind!
8. How did the yo-yo become a successful motivational speaker?
- It always knew how to bounce back!
9. What do yo-yos say when they introduce themselves?
- "I’m not as up-tight as I appear!"
10. Why was the yo-yo accused of being a spy?
- Because it always goes undercover!
Monday is easier with funny jokes
Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar...
Followed by Batman!
A man came to my door asking if I wanted to buy two armchairs and a sofa.
I told him I never accept suites from strangers!
I tried to explain to my four-year-old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poo your pants…
But he's still making fun of me!
Scientists have invented a car that runs on parsley…
They hope to use this technology to make trains run on thyme!
My dad quit his job to pursue his dream in archeology
His career is now in ruins.
What is the difference between archeology and grave robbing?
About 500 years
What’s the difference between good archeology jokes and bad archeology jokes?
It depends on how deep it goes.
I misunderstood pride month…
Would anyone like to buy 15 lions?
The Roman Emperor Who Never Aged
There was a Roman emperor who never aged after he turned 19...
His name was Constant-Teen.
FLEX WORDLE
Guess the WORDLE in 3 tries. After each guess, the color of the tiles will change to show how close your guess was to the solution.
My pale friend Ted is looking
My pale friend Ted is looking for a good tanning parlour. I told him to post a “Help Wan Ted” ad.Re-Marry My Ex-Wife
I tried to re-marry my ex-wife…
But she figured out I was only after my money!
My imagine hairyro
My imagine hairy friend was quite hirsute.Canine tooth
A dog and a cat are having an argument about which one a human prefers.
The dog says, "Humans like us more. They have even named a tooth after us!"
The cat smiles and says, "You are really not going to win this one you know!"
A Termite walks into a bar
And says is the bar tender here
The weirdest Christmas
The weirdest celebrity Christmas ever was when Eminem sang in reverse and then disappeared.He un-rapped his presence.
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