|
Short jokes - funny one liners (8761 to 8800)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 8761 to 8800. |
A matter of seconds
“I find meditating on...
“I find meditating on Descartes and Houdini so liberating, but the reason escapes me.”
Why do you do that, Mom?
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.
"Why do you do that, Mom?"
"To make myself beautiful," she answered. She then began to remove the cream with a tissue.
"What's the matter?" Johnny started. "Giving up?"
“When I was starving ...
“When I was starving to death, my children gave me a raisin to keep on living.”
Knock Knock Collection 070
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Frida!
Frida who?
Frida be!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Fruit!
Fruit who?
Fruit of the loom!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Gabe!
Gabe who!
Gabe it my all!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Gable!
Gable who!
Gable to leap buildings in a single bound!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Gabor!
Gabor who!
Gabor'n to shop!
A Very Good Reason...
The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his cheek.
"I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in at six o'clock in the morning?"
"There is, he replied.... "Breakfast."
Q: How many men does it take t...
Q: How many men does it take to change a toilet paper roll?A: No one knows, it's never been done.
“Married hang man wer...
“Married hang man were the best at their job, they knew how to tie the knot.”
“My friend's bakery b...
“My friend's bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.”
Answering Machine Message 138
Steve is reassembling Elvis' brain and can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name...
Short funny jokes-Rebirth
Heard On A Public Bus
Heard on a public transportation vehicle in Orlando.
"When you exit the bus, please be sure to lower your head and watch your step."
"If you miss your step and hit your head, please lower your voice and watch your language. Thank you."
Obviously Nuts
A guy goes to the psychiatrist only wearing shorts made of Glad wrap.
The psychiatrist says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
A man with a bag of Lays potat...
A man with a bag of Lays potato chips taunted Chuck Norris: "Betcha can't eat just one!" Chuck Norris ate the chips, the bag, and the man.“I tried hard to get ...
“I tried hard to get into vexillology, but, in the end, had to flag it away.”
Really funny jokes-Getting really old
I asked, "What happened'?
Grandpa grumbled, "I went to Kaka's antique auction and four people bid on me!"
“The professor's expl...
“The professor's explanation of centripetal force was pretty down-to-earth but her explanation of centrifugal force just blew me away.”
Funny reply
Gina says with a smirk, "Tell me Tom, how many times did you fail in Nursery class?"
Garbage day....
A Father is asked by his friend, "Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?"
"Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector," he replies.
To this his friend responds "Strange ambition to have for a career."
"Well, he thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays!"
“If you accidentally ...
“If you accidentally leave your fly down on a promising date, does that count as a Freudian zip?”
Insult - Sister
May a weird customs inspector discover a secret compartmentin your sister.
-- Johnny Carson
“When the statistics ...
“When the statistics professor and the math professor wrote a cookbook together, they called it 'Pi A La Mode.'”
