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Short jokes - funny one liners (9201 to 9240)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 9201 to 9240. |
Your mommas so poor
Your Mommmas so poor that when some kid stole her skate board she said "Hey who took the family car?"“Always trust a glue ...
“Always trust a glue salesman. They tend to stick to their word.”
What tool does Count Dracula u...
What tool does Count Dracula use when he repairs his car?A Vamplier
“When video arcades s...
“When video arcades switched to a system of tokens, there was no quarter asked or given.”
Did you here about the guy who...
Did you here about the guy who lost his whole left side?He's alright now!
Monster Valentine
Boy Monster: Did you get the big red heart I sent you for Valentine's?
Girl Monster: Yes, I did. Thank you.
Boy Monster: Is it still beating?
Little Johnny wasn't very good...
Little Johnny wasn't very good at spelling. During an oralspelling exam, the teacher wrote the word "new" on the
blackboard. "Now," she asked Johnny, "what word would we
have if we placed a "K" in the front?"
After a moment's reflection, Johnny said, "Canoe?"
One Liners
How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?Cut the rope.
Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
No? Good!
What is the definition of a shame?
A busload of lawyers going off a cliff.
What is the definition of a crying shame?
An empty seat on the bus.
Where can you find a good lawyer?
In the cemetery.
90210
Yo mamma's so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the bathroom scale.Answering Machine Message 44
You have reached the Strategic Air Command Nuclear Missile Storage Facility. We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number, and target or list of targets, and we'll launch as soon as we can. And have a nice day.
“Since I've taken the...
“Since I've taken the job in The Everglades I've been swamped!”
Ode to a Cat
I think that I shall never see
A cat that sheds as much as thee
Thy fur that sticks is all around
On chairs, on mats in little mounds
I sweep the floor, you shed some more
I wash the rug and you just shrug
You should give thanks I tolerate that
Or you would be a crew cut cat.
“The crusty, ill-temp...
“The crusty, ill-tempered baker was a scone's throw from becoming toast.”
Pool
How do you make a pool table laugh?
Put your hand down its pocket and tickle its balls!
“To make sure cargo t...
“To make sure cargo trucks aren't too heavy, police operate on the principle that where there's a wheel there's a weigh.”
An Antartican suddenly realize...
An Antartican suddenly realizes his house is on fire. He immediately dials 9-1-1.The fireman answers, "Yes may I help you?"
The Antartican replies, "My house is on fire, come quick!!!"
The fireman asks, "How do we get there?"
The Antartican says, "Duh, big red truck!"
“The pilot was a lone...
“The pilot was a loner but even for him flying a drone was just too remote.”
Lost in the supermarket...
The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
"Why?"
"Because every time I talk to a a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere."
Is sleeping good?
The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people.Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more.
“I suspected our new ...
“I suspected our new house guest was a terrorist. He asked to sleep on a blow up mattress.”
“When my granddaughte...
“When my granddaughter lost her baby molar she was demolarised and brushed the tooth fairy claim.”
Chuck Norris threw a grenade a...
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people. Then it blew up.“Back in the days whe...
“Back in the days when the guillotine was first used, people wondered, is this what we may beheaded for in the future?”
