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Short jokes - funny one liners (9281 to 9320)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 9281 to 9320. |
Hilarious jokes-How cold?
The winter being treacherous, Sam commented, "It is really cold outside today."
Robert asked, "How cold is it?"
Sam replied, "It is colder than my mother-in-law's kiss!"
A woman is a complicated creat...
A woman is a complicated creature. Before marriage, she expects a man, after marriage she suspects him, and after death she respects him.Funny jokes-No charge
Joey says, "Do you mind telling me the charge officer."
The cop replies, "No charge to you. It's all part of the service."
Perfume brands
As she approaches the perfume counter, the salesgirl shows her several brands like "My Sin", "Bliss", "Desire", and "Ecstasy".
Tina says to the salesgirl, "Hey, all I want is to smell nice, I am not looking to get emotionally involved."
“Just after thimbles ...
“Just after thimbles were invented there was a shortage, so many people got stuck without one.”
“I was struggling to ...
“I was struggling to figure out how lightning works then it struck me.”
“I had a novel idea f...
“I had a novel idea for a new book but got in a bind so I shelved it. It's time to start a new chapter now.”
Chuck Norris listens to "Requi...
Chuck Norris listens to "Requiem for a Tower" when he eats pancakes.Humor-Words
The problem is with the timing - while the husband consumes his 25000 words at work, the wife's 30000 start when the husband reaches home.
“The origami artist w...
“The origami artist won the court case because he was good with paperwork.”
Musicians and Lightbulbs
Q: How many musicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One, two, one, two, three, four!
Termite Fun. Yep, Termite Fun.
What did the termite say when he walked into the bar?
Where is the bar tender?
A wife got so mad at her husba...
A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out. As he walked to the door she yelled, "I hope you die a long, slow, painful death." He turned around and said, "So, you want me to stay?"Teachers and Light Bulbs
Q: How many teachers does it take to change a light bulb ?
A: Well, teachers generally don't change light bulbs, but a good teacher can make a dim one brighter!
“The circus performer...
“The circus performer pulled his trapezius muscles and now he is flying high on pain meds.”
Answering Machine Message 07
Prepare for alpha test of Beep Software revision 1.05. Counting down to test: 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...
“When the town remove...
“When the town removed billboards, they told people that's how it was designed.”
Not cheap
I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week!Chilling with the Eskimo
What do eskimos get from sitting on a block of ice?
Polaroids!
Corduroy pillows
Buy corduroy pillows, they're making headlines!Chilling with the Eskimo
What do eskimos get from sitting on a block of ice?
Polaroids!
A penny and a second....
There was once this man in heaven, he asked God what a million dollars meant to him. God replied, "A penny."
Then, the man asked what a million years meant to God. God replied, "A second."
Finally the man asked, "Can I have one of your pennies?"
And god replied, "Just a second."
“When a woman returns...
“When a woman returns new clothing, that's post traumatic dress syndrome.”
Mike and Evander
Evander goes into a pub, buys a drink and sits at the bar.......In walks Mike Tyson.
"Hey, Evander, sorry about the bite man, can I buy you a drink?"
"No thanks, Mike, I've got one 'ere....."
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by yisman
Guilt...
A son calls his mother. Mom how are you. Mom replies. Not too good. I haven't eaten in 38 days.
Replying with concern, the son asks "what's the matter mom, are you not feeling well, have you been to the doctor?"
Mom replies, not that, "I didn't want to have my mouth full of food when you called."
“A Hall of Fame recen...
“A Hall of Fame recently opened to honor outstanding female soldiers. It was a WAC's Museum.”
Mixed-Up Terms
A father was concerned that his daughter hadn't revealed herheart condition to his future son-in-law. The first chance he
had for a private chat, he asked his son-in-law to be,
"Michael, are you aware of my daughter's acute angina?"
"Sure," Mike responded, "and her breasts ain't bad either!"
Answering Machine Message 218
Hi, this is Ed. I'm secretly replacing Faisal and Bob with dark sparkling Folger's Crystals. Leave your name, number, and a brief message and they'll call you back when they're nice and percolated. See if you can tell the difference.
