Join us on
WhatsApp
Join us on
Telegram
Join us on
Viber
Short jokes - funny one liners (9401 to 9440)

Short jokes - funny one liners (9401 to 9440)

Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 9401 to 9440.

“I heard Einstein got...

“I heard Einstein got along well with his parents ... relatively speaking.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 2.67/10

Rating: 2.7/10 (3)

Got Nuts?

A girl walks into a grocery store and asks the stock boy if he has any nuts.
The guy says, "No, ma'am."
She says, "Well, do you have any dates?"
And he says, "Ma'am, if I don't have nuts, do you really expect me to have dates?"

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 7.19/10

Rating: 7.2/10 (64)

An airline ticker office in Co...

An airline ticker office in Copenhagen reminds you:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS
#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 2.20/10

Rating: 2.2/10 (5)

“What kind of floorin...

“What kind of flooring do alligator hunters use? Reptiles!”

#joke #short #animal #alligator
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (8)

Bar... Grasshopper

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, 'Hey, we have a drink named after you!'

The grasshopper looks surprised and says, 'You have a drink named Steve?'

#joke #short #walksintoabar
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (7)

E.T.s eyes

Why are E.T.s eyes so big?

Because he saw the phone bill.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 4.20/10

Rating: 4.2/10 (5)

A grasshopper walks into a bar...

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, 'Hey, we have a drink named after you!'

The grasshopper looks surprised and says, 'You have a drink named Steve?'
#joke #short #walksintoabar
Joke | Source: MHINTZ0929's Blog - New funny joke each day
  • Currently 5.37/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (104)

Chicken on the Football Field

Why did the chicken run onto the football field?

Because the umpire called a foul.

#joke #short #animal #chicken #sport #football
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.86/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (14)

“It's tough to know e...

“It's tough to know exactly what some philosophers looked like. Sometimes the only way might be to ex-Hume them.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 4.20/10

Rating: 4.2/10 (5)

Photographer with a dog

Mark the photographer has a dog with one leg missing. You know what he calls his dog?

Tripod.
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 7.00/10

Rating: 7.0/10 (2)

“I opened a shop sell...

“I opened a shop selling budgerigars. They're flying off the shelves.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 3.38/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (8)

Chuck Norris has more Facebook...

Chuck Norris has more Facebook friends than Facebook has users.
Joke | Source: Daily Chuck - Daily Chuck Norris Fact
  • Currently 3.71/10

Rating: 3.7/10 (70)

Country Music Backwards

What do you get when you play country music backwards?

You get back your wife, your dog, your truck...

Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.80/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (5)

Country Music Backwards

What do you get when you play country music backwards?

You get back your wife, your dog, your truck...

Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

“Did you hear about t...

“Did you hear about the farmer who got attacked by a cow? He milked it for all it was worth.”

#joke #short #animal #cow
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.20/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (5)

A Chuck Norris edition of Clue...

A Chuck Norris edition of Clue was to be released, but the answer was always: "Chuck Norris. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick."
Joke | Source: Daily Chuck - Daily Chuck Norris Fact
  • Currently 4.30/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (64)

Mickey and Donald in a Foxhole

Q: Why did Mickey Mouse get shot?
A: Because Donald ducked.

Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 6.17/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (6)

“The trampoline was o...

“The trampoline was on sale for fifty per cent off. Needless to say I jumped on the offer.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 3.20/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (5)

Wife renovating house

Gary asks his neighbor, "What should I do while my wife is renovating the house?"

The neighbor answers, "Keep yourself busy. If you are able to work with tools, you can complete the basement. When you're done, you'll at least have a place to live."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 6.40/10

Rating: 6.4/10 (5)

Men and Lava Lamps

Q: How are men like lava lamps?
A: They're fun to look at, but not that bright.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.73/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (11)

Good news and bad news....

A doctor enters into a patient's room and informs the patient that he has good news and bad news. He then asks the patient which news he would like to hear.

The patient responds, "Doctor, give me the good news."

The doctor says, "Well we are gonna name a disease after you."

Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (6)

"Doctor, Doctor, You've got to...

"Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking!"
"Do you drink a lot?"
"Not really - I spill most of it!"
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (7)

"Doctor, Doctor, You've got to...

"Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking!"
"Do you drink a lot?"
"Not really - I spill most of it!"
Joke | Source: MHINTZ0929's Blog - New funny joke each day
  • Currently 3.50/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (6)

“Conjoined twins aren...

“Conjoined twins aren't the only twins with special connections.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 3.50/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (8)

Before they met Chuck Norris, ...

Before they met Chuck Norris, the Black Eyed Peas were simply known as "The Peas."
Joke | Source: Daily Chuck - Daily Chuck Norris Fact
  • Currently 5.40/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (15)

Adam and Eve had it good

Q. Why were Adam and Eve the happiest couple that's ever lived?

A. Because they didn't have in-laws!

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (5)

Valet parking

The other day, my Grandpa was telling me that he always uses valet parking.

When I asked why, he replied that valets at least remember where they park your car.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 5.82/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (11)

Caskets

Q: What did one casket say to the sick casket?
A: Is that you coughin'?

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.75/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (4)

Termite

A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the

bar tender here?"

#joke #short #walksintoabar
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 5.60/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (5)

College Grads

A graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"

A graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"

A graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much it cost?"

A graduate with a liberal arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

#joke #short #food #fries
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (4)

“Did you hear about t...

“Did you hear about the crime that happened in a parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (8)

Dreadful wrath

Old man Gary prays to god - "How can I escape that dreadful wrath of these old age wrinkles?"

A voice booms from the heavens: "Take off your glasses".
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

Ash Blonde

How did the blonde die raking leaves?

She fell out of the tree!

Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.75/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (8)

“The mother kangaroo ...

“The mother kangaroo tried to instill good financial habits in her baby. She told him to pocket all his allowance.”

#joke #short #animal #kangaroo #mother
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (5)

Short funny jokes-Snow caps

Jim: How do mountains bear the cold in December?

Tim : They keep warm with snow caps.
#joke #short #december #animal #bear
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 5.40/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (5)

The Blonde and the Blinker

Two blondes were driving down the road.
The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, ''Yes. No. Yes. No.''

Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 3.73/10

Rating: 3.7/10 (11)

“The two pianists had...

“The two pianists had a good marriage. They always were in a chord.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.50/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (6)

Animal testing

John is a PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) member and is discussing animal welfare with his friend Ludwik.
John says, "Animal testing is such a cruel and bad practice."
Ludvick comments, "Yeah, they get all nervous and give the wrong answers."
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 6.78/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (9)

Autoblonde

Q: What do a blonde and a car have in common?

A: They can both drive you crazy.

Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 5.57/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (7)

When I was Young

When I was young I used to pray for a bicycle.

Then I realized that God doesn't work that way.

So I stole a bicycle and prayed for forgiveness.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

Jokes Archive

NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.