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Short jokes - funny one liners (9481 to 9520)

Short jokes - funny one liners (9481 to 9520)

Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 9481 to 9520.

When Alexander Bell invented t...

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.
Joke | Source: Daily Chuck - Daily Chuck Norris Fact
  • Currently 4.50/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (8)

Magic trick

PC Sorkar, the Indian magician can perform some amazing tricks. He once swallowed a white rabbit and pulled a brown hare out of his butt.
#joke #short #animal #rabbit
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 4.17/10

Rating: 4.2/10 (6)

SLIDESHOW #14 - Funny Photo Slideshow

Hipster Booty Call... Clothes

Wow, your t-shirt is even more ironic than mine!

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 5.50/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (4)

A man placed an ad in the clas...

A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same: "You can have mine."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 3.20/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (5)

A man placed an ad in the clas...

A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."

The next day he received a hundred letters.

They all said the same: "You can have mine."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: MHINTZ0929's Blog - New funny joke each day
  • Currently 4.50/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (6)

“The passenger couldn...

“The passenger couldn't find where his next flight was, but then he made the connection.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 3.88/10

Rating: 3.9/10 (8)

What happens when Twitter is down?

What happens when Twitter is down?

Becky calls Kathy and speaks to answering machine:
Hey Kathy, Twitter is down this morning, when you get this message please call me, I can't wait to know what you had for breakfast! Thanks.
#joke #short #food #breakfast
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 4.29/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (7)

Eating Bananas

Q: Why don't blondes eat bananas?

A1: They can't

find the zipper.

A2: They cant find the pull tab.

#joke #short #blonde #fruit #banana #food #eating
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 4.80/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (5)

Geek Booty Call... No Need

Now that I've met you, I no longer need my handheld.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (6)

“The humorist's favor...

“The humorist's favorite sandwich was smoked tongue on wry.”

#joke #short #food #sandwich
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.29/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (7)

Yo Mama Is So Flat

yo mama is so flat that they call her chest the great plains
#joke #short #yomama
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 3.86/10

Rating: 3.9/10 (7)

Supermarket trolley

Tom: Do you know the difference between Britney Spears and a supermarket trolley?

Harry : What?

Tom: A supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 5.17/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (6)

Bear and Deer

What do you get when you cross a bear with a deer?
Beer

#joke #short #animal #bear #deer #drinks #beer
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 3.71/10

Rating: 3.7/10 (7)

“As usual, the chief ...

“As usual, the chief meteorologist blustered his way through the staff meeting.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 3.67/10

Rating: 3.7/10 (12)

Significant rule

Santa: What's the unsaid but most significant rule in chemistry?

Banta: Don't ever lick lick the spoon!
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 3.75/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (8)

A true tech support story...

Tech Support: 'What does the screen say now.'

Person: 'It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'.'

Tech Support: 'Well?'

Person: 'How do I know when it's ready?'

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 3.40/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (5)

“The portrait artist ...

“The portrait artist made extra money as a census taker. He was good at canvasing people.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 1.83/10

Rating: 1.8/10 (6)

Adult jokes-Lost in the woods

If you are lost in the woods, here is what you should do.
Take Viagra and an iron supplement. Trust it to convert you into a perfect compass.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (5)

Cow Bells

Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

#joke #short #animal #cow
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.45/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (11)

Ants In Yer Pants

Q: Why did the ant fall off the toilet bowl?

A: He got pissed off.

#joke #short #animal #ant
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 1.80/10

Rating: 1.8/10 (5)

The doctor...

A newly hired nurse listened while the doctor was yelling, "Typhoid! Tetanus! Measles!"

She asked another nurse, "Why is he going on like that?"

The experienced nurse replied, "Oh, he just likes to call the shots around here."

Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (5)

Ants In Yer Pants

Q: Why did the ant fall off the toilet bowl?

A: He got pissed off.

#joke #short #animal #ant
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.40/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (10)

My wife enjoys sports and anyt...

My wife enjoys sports and anything else that calls for an argument.
#joke #short #sport
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 2.86/10

Rating: 2.9/10 (7)

Confusius say, "Man who stands...

Confusius say, "Man who stands on toilet is high on pot."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: MHINTZ0929's Blog - New funny joke each day
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (5)

“When all my electric...

“When all my electrical engineering friends at the baseball game did the wave, it was almost like having a phased-hooray.”

#joke #short #sport #baseball
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 4.13/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (8)

“The most popular ope...

“The most popular operation for orthopaedic surgeons is upper-leg surgery: very hip.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 3.40/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (5)

Kangaroo + Leap Year =

What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with a calendar?

A leap year!

#joke #short #animal #kangaroo
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.44/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (34)

Do You Serve Lawyers?

A man walked into a bar, leading an alligator by a leash. He asked the bartender, "Do you serve lawyers here?"

"Sure do," said the bartender.

"Good," replied the man. "Give me a beer, and I'll have a lawyer for my 'gator."

#joke #short #lawyer #animal #alligator #drinks #beer
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 3.33/10

Rating: 3.3/10 (6)

Pegasus, we hardly knew ye

Why did God stop making pegasuses?
Because it took too long to clean their crap off his windshield.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.50/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (4)

One of the Worst Jokes Ever Written

Q: Why does a chicken coop have only two doors?

A: Because if it had four it would be a sedan!

#joke #short #animal #chicken
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (3)

Excuse For Speeding


A cop pulls a car over on the highway for speeding. When he asks for the driver's license, the driver argued, "Speeding??? But officer, I was only trying to keep a safe distance between my car the the car in back of me."

Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

“The gunman took a sh...

“The gunman took a shot at new opportunities.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 3.90/10

Rating: 3.9/10 (10)

Chuck Norris died this morning...

Chuck Norris died this morning. But don't worry, he's completely fine now.
Joke | Source: Daily Chuck - Daily Chuck Norris Fact
  • Currently 4.60/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (5)

Commitment phobia!

Judy : I fail to understand what makes men so scared of commitment!

Vinnie : You are telling me! I dated this guy for a two years, and finally had to give him an ultimatum.

Judy: What did you tell him?

Vinnie: I just told him, "Look, you better tell me your last name, or its quits!"
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

“When Plato discovere...

“When Plato discovered he was out of food, he decided to go shop at the stoa.”

#joke #short #food
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 4.43/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (7)

Short funny jokes-Tooth and nail

John, the dentist and Jacob, the manicurist had an argument.
They fought tooth and nail.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

Dead in His Cornflakes

Q: Did you hear about the guy they found dead with his head in his cornflakes?
A: The police thought it was a cereal killer.

Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.38/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (8)

The Wonderful Thing About Tiggers

Q: Why doesn't Tigger have any friends?
A: He plays with Pooh

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 6.71/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (7)

Musicians

How many musicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One, two... one, two, three, four!

Submitted by Curtis

Edited by Yisman

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 3.33/10

Rating: 3.3/10 (3)

“My new girlfriend an...

“My new girlfriend and I are moving together into a tree house, I hope we won't fall out.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 3.40/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (5)

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